Blonde Mafia Ganja Island

It seems as I have to come here to write posts like this more often I would like.
Still, I want to do it when the time is right. When I feel it's right for me and for the soul who I am putting words on the screen for.
God, how I don't want to come here and write posts like this.

Tonight happened the saddest thing in my Erasmus life. The saddest thing in the life of Jack.
After four days in coma, he died. Died with his parents here in Palermo, sitting by his bed in the hospital.
Palermo, the city of hopes and dreams for all of us. City of happiness and friends and laughter. And we never knew that for Jack these were the last days of his life.
He was hit by a car on Via Roma, near from my own apartment.

As I look over the rooftops I wonder if his mother and father hate this city right now. Will they always hate it. Or all they better than this? I wouldn't be. I would hate every single Italian for the rest of my life. I would only talk bad of them. I would practically attack every one driving a car. This city would make me want to vomit.
For my own mother this city left a great impression. She thinks Palermo is gorgeous, amazing, magnificent. Would it change if I died in here. Would she despise the rooftops I'm seeing right now?
Should I feel different? Should I hate the city I once loved? I know it sounds stupid. Even my own mom told me on the phone that bad things happen everywhere.
Well, Jack didn't die everywhere. He died on the street next to my apartment. And I can't help but to hate that street now. And the cars on it. And the people driving them.

First I cried for Jack. I cried for his short life. That he can never experience more things. That he can never enjoy this life he had. He was so young...
And all his friends waiting in England. What a shock it is for them. To send him away and then never get him back again. I cried because remembering even silly things like calling him Jack The Ripper make me sad. I wish I could do it again. Many times.

Now I can't hold my tears back because of his parents. In this strange city. In this city of old architecture and wet asphalt. How lonely do they feel. Without their son.
No mother should ever experience that. Saying goodbye to her son in a foreign hospital, while the son is in a coma.
No father should ever send his boy away to another country and then, without seeing him alive again, taking back his coffin.

My sadness, my sorrow, could I trade it for a better world?

I am so so so sorry Jack. I am so so so so sorry that nobody could do anything. I'm so sorry for your family. You know each and every one of us would change it if we could. In the morning it would be gone.
But it wont. We will get up and an icy hand will squeeze our hearts.

Rest in peace baby. You deserve it.

Like Peppe put it: "Jack, you'll never walk alone..."

And when the sun sets over the rooftops, while I'm standing on my 7th floor balcony, and when the air is still a bit warm. Then I think it's all worth it. I'm willing to be sad from time to time, to witness the beauty of life.
I do not know what monsters hide in every person. Sometimes I don't know my own monsters.
A friend of mine said on msn that he wants people and life to be more simple. Simplicity. Because he doesn't understand why people do the things they do and why they are what they are.
I think life is very simple while you are with others. I think all people are simple.
But the moment when things get really really difficult is when you are alone. Alone in your room with your thoughts. Sometimes the world gets so difficult I don't know to handle it anymore. I think it's me who makes things difficult for myself. And it's you who makes things difficult for yourself. So maybe we should avoid it and spend more time together? :)
I wish I could say to people who I like. But I have a feeling they would think I am annoying. Or not? I don't trust myself.
As I said, sometimes I am my own worst enemy.

Is it possible to have a soulmate? Somebody who sees your soul and really understands it? Is it possible to rest your head on that persons lap and feel your souls intertwining?
There hasn't really been a person who understood me like that. So many words have been said that now fly in the open space without a home. There have been feelings that were felt and which then melted and run into the cracks of the walls, like tiny rivers.

I guess it is not possible to have a true soulmate. With every person there comes a time when you don't understand him or her. It doesn't necessarily have to happen while having a conversation. Not at all.
I really love my grandmother. She is the closest to a soulmate I have ever had and we really understand eachother well. But as I kid I remember looking at her, while she stood infront of the window, her eyes wandering somewhere in the depths of the sky. And I didn't have the slightest clue of what she was thinking or feeling. And those moments made me feel less close to her.

But I've never been the one who gives up easy. I'm proud of the things I've done in my life, how brave I've been. And even now, I'm not giving up. Will it be a woman or a man? Will it be a boyfriend who takes me into his arms and makes me forget the world. I am willing to try to let myself go. I'm willing to help and step one step closer.
Just to feel the wind in my hair and our eyelashes brushing together.

T�iesti vastupidiselt mu s�prade seas levivale arvamusele, et Blong on �ks igavene metallmaoga joodik ja muidu kaabakas, �tles mulle alkotest (alkoinfo.ee), et ma joon nii palju, et ma suren varsti �ra.
Siinkohal tsiteerin: Tarbisite �he p�evaga 97,4 alkoholi�hikut. Naised ei tohiks p�evas tarbida mitte enam kui 2 alkoholi�hikut. N�dalas peab olema v�hemalt 3 alkoholivaba p�eva.

Ps. Viimase lause kohta alustas mu toakaaslane entusiastlikult: "No meil on v�hemalt �ks ja..." ja siis ta h��l vaibus.

P�ris sitt. Tegin testi ausalt ja sinisilmselt. No n��d tuleb siis v�lja, et edaspidi peab valetama hakkama.

Teine test samal lehel:

Punkte kokku 16-19
Sinu joomisharjumused h�vitavad Sinu tervist ning Sa v�id olla alkohols�ltuvuses. Kui v�hegi v�imalik, l�peta joomine otsekohe. V�ta �hendust oma perearstiga ning r��gi selle testi tulemustest, v�i siis p��rdu kindlasti vastavate spetsialistide poole.

T�itsa �udne on sellised alusetuid s��distusi lugeda. Meelepahast tulevad lausa pisarad silma. Samas, kindlasti tarbin ma praegusel eluperioodil rohkem alkoholi kui tavaliselt. Kogused on samad, lihtsalt momente kus ma neid ...ee...koguseid .. h�vitan, on tunduvalt tihemini.
N�dalaplaan on meil siin selline, et esmasp�eval ma kooli ei j�ua sest j�le r�ve on olla, turgutuseks tuleb pudelite l�pud �ra kl�nksata. Teisip�eval k�in koolis (siinkohal ka ennist mainitud 1 alkoholivaba p�ev) ja siis kolmap�eval hakkab ametlikult n�dalavahetus. Olen t�iesti shitfaced. Neljap�eval j�uan koju siis kui tunnid juba k�ivad. Olen shitfaced. Keeran magama, et �rgata, k�ia dushi all ja teha enne v�ljumist kiirelt paar kokteili. Reede, laup�ev ja p�hap�eval olen shitfaced ja kui m�letaks mida teinud olen, oleks eriti h�sti.
Erasmus - education first!

Ja �rge arvake, et see on mingi lihtne ja l�bus asi koguaeg viina ja bacardit alla laksata. Vatupidi. Ma olen jube v�sinud! Kui reedel �les �rkan m�tlen alati et no ei enam. �hel �htul me isegi �ritasime kuradile vastu seista. Ei joonud kodus tilkagi, ei joonud v�ljas tilkagi. J�le igav oli. No t�esti. Igalpool mingi lollid l�ustad, klubid miski ime l�bi t�hjemad kui eales varem. Kingad pitsitasid, jakiga oli liiga palav.
Hakkasime kahe ajal kodu poole astuma kui korraga helistasid s�brad ja �tlesid et "NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo only 5 minutes". M�tlesime et no h�sti siis, puhtalt viisakusest, 5 minutit ju t�esti v�ib.
Istusime kuskil klubinurgas ja r��kisime juttu ja kuna kogu laud tellis juua siis t�itsa m�rkamatult sigines meiegi k�tte rumm koolaga. Korraga l�ks klubi rahvast jube t�is ja kingad muutusid pehmeteks ja jakiga oli v�ga m�nus olla. Ja no sealt alates on juba ajalugu.
V�imatu ma �tlen. V�imatu!

Nii et �rge tehke selliseid teste. Need testid ei v�ta mind kui individuaali. Nad ei tea mu p�evaplaani, nad ei tea kuidas ma seisan vastu, kuidas ma seisan nagu puu tormis ja vehin okstega. Ei! Nad ei tea midagi vaid kupatavad mind hoopis perearsti juurde ning nimetavad mind vastasugupoole esindajaks, sest naised, need ei joo ju rohkem kui 2 alkoholi�hikut p�evas.

In this world of vanity, people tend to forget that having real friends is a very very important thing.
You may find going out and shining in limelight extremely cool and it feeds your ego better than anything. But when one by one, the people who loved you for your soul, disappear, you can cry tears that are saltier than any sea. And believe me, when you show no love and only expect it to come to you, then they will disappear.

Some people just use you. They call and say "I'm sooooooooooooooooo bored, let's go out and do something.
And then there are people who call to say: "I'm having sooooooooooo much fun, come and join me!"

Unfortunately, there aren't many people who act like that.
Still, there are some, and these are the people who love you. These are my friends.

I will never forget how my older sister had a birthday some years ago and it was gonna be so much fun. First we were at her place and got drunk. I was really enjoying the night, but at the same time I felt very sorry for my friend who was just sitting at home. I really cared for her so much and I just purely, from my heart, wanted her to have some fun.
So I talked to my sister about having her with us and my sister was lovely as usual, but still, she wasn't exactly thrilled, coz you know... it was her birthday and everything. She wanted to have me with her that night.
Nevertheless, I called my friend and told her to meet us later at a rock club to dance and drink with us.
I didn't regret my decision. We had tons of fun, and in the end we went to some other clubs too, just the two of us. And some really life changing things happened, mainly for her.

It was one of the moments that I'm really proud of. And I feel happy about it. And I don't know... I'd just like to say that things like this pay off. You feel good, the other person feels good. Life is a better place.

Me and L were discussing one night, how difficult it is to find people who really care for you. They can say they care. They can even mean it. But they don't act like it.
And in the end, what they said or meant, becomes a lie.
A lie that kind of hurts. Kind of makes you angry. But most of all, makes you feel used.
Makes you feel like you are... like a mirror in somebody else's purse. A mirror that tells them they are gorgeous. And that's all.
You may feel like there was a lot of drama around who cares about who, but in the end, the drama queen herself, didn't look into her soul. Didn't think that for once, she could, with no prejudice, do something for you. To show that this time she isn't criticizing, she is actually doing something for you. Just purely, because she wants to make the first step towards being a better person. Not wait for other to love her for what she is.
Because it may be, she is not much.

My lovely F always gives good advice. His advice has been that friendships like that should be demolished. And there is no point in keeping them.

Still, I have faith in good friendships. I can say, I really have great great great friends. They don't fuck me. They don't shit me. They are normal, good people. Awesome, humble, exciting, funny, smart, wonderful friends.

And I never want to lose the hope, that my friendships means as much to them as it means to me.
And in this vanity fair, they don't forget that I may be the one who, 6o years from now, comes to help them return books to library or go to cemetery together to plant flowers of the graves of our loved ones.
I hope in this world on vanity, my friends don't forget it's the soul that matters.

And if my soul is nothing to you, then by all means - don't ever bother to give me reasons to care for you. And don't ask for it either.



And now something completely random, to make you feel happy :D

Happy birthday dad! 09.09.09

I.J.

14. 04. 1956 - 08.09.09

Say not in grief: "He is no more", but live in thankfulness that he was.
Hebrew Proverb

I've been very sad for the past 3 or 4 days. I went to the island where I spent all the summers as a kid. I always really look forward to going there.
It's like escaping the lights. It's where there are no broken hearts or polluted air that makes your lungs hurt.
And I'm really happy there. I stand in the middle of the hay fields and run my fingers through the hay while walking. Swallows fly over my head and I'm so happy. I'm young again. I feel the same careless happiness inside of me.
And I'm walking to the beach with no worries in my mind. No problems.
There is only me and the sunshine. The night can wait forever.

This time the weather was again, very lovely. But the clouds above the house were black and heavy.
One of my cousins is very sick and I didn't know things were so bad. I thought he was fighting, fighting and winning. Now I saw his body had given up. This fight had been too difficult.

It was such a shock to me. I felt like fainting, I stumbled out of the room and tried to hold back tears. My grandmother's 80-year-old sister held my hand and I tried to be strong for her. It's his son who's sitting there. Looking over the hay fields and setting sun through the glass door of the balcony.
At least, at least he can see something so beautiful. He spent all his summers there too.

I didn't want to write to make myself important in this situation. I don't wanna say hey look at me, I'm sad over here.
I wanted to write about the beautiful things... things I will always remember. Things he would like. Things of what he may be thinking while sitting there during hist last nights.
I feel bad for saying that. I wanna say he will have years and years to come. But... but then the sight I saw wouldn't have broken my heart. It wouldn't have broken it into millions of pieces.

I don't really know what to do, so I'm doing the only thing I can think of. I write. I write for myself and for you.
Escape from the nights with me.

The sun... it was always shining, it was so warm. My skirt was short and my knees where abraded. I had a wallet, it was green. It was covered with stickers, inside and out. I had my summer allowance in it, about 150 Estonian kroons. At that time you got an ice cream, every day, for 3 months, with that money. My favourite was raspberry.
We put the wallets on the back of the bicycle, between the luggage carrier thing. It always left marks on the wallets. We didn't mind.
And then we just hopped on the bikes and rode and sung the whole way. There were so many holes in the ground. You had to avoid them not to have an aching butt at night.
He never went to the shop close by. We always had to go further and further, faster and faster. He always rode so fast. We wanted to be just like him.
Once when we came back, I sung so loud I forgot to turn right and ended up in the harbor.
He came to get me and we went back together. I tried really hard to keep up with him and when we got back he said in front of every one that I rode really well.
For somebody like me, with really low self esteem, it was wonderful. They didn't like to give compliments to me there. I've forgiven them everything. I bet they didn't even realize it.
And then he did, and it was wonderful.

The trips with the boat were so cool. We just oared and oared for 3 hours and then had a picnic on some island. But it was always fun on the boat. He and his ironic jokes. They still make me giggle. He had hair on his toes. I remember looking at them for 3 hours. Actually 6, coz we always came back too.
He oared really well and fast. He never wanted to take the motor.

Do you understand? I need to speak of it, because they hurt me at night. These memories. They hurt when I think of them.
It's for nobody else. It's for me. Some things you just never want to forget.

I like how you called everybody "p�mmpea". :D I liked your sense of humor. I say I "liked", because I wanna remember you how you were. It's unfair you changed into this... little one hundred year old soul, when you really are a strong and beautiful man.
I'm going to remember you as you were. Everybody will.

You made so many days on the island better for us, kids. You know, with all the nagging grandmothers and aunts and mothers, there was always you and your dad, who didn't say anything bad and silently gave comfort.

I don't want to offend anyone with this post. I'm afraid I would, as I'm not a mother or a sister.
But I really want to say that family will always support each other. The people who were there when as a kid I got stung by a bee or fell with my bike, who held me. I would like to hold them now.
I'm so afraid they would not think well of me for being so sad and negative.
But the look in his mothers eyes. It already told me how things are.

No matter what, when I now look at my grandmother or her sister, I feel I love them so much my heart will explode. I wish I could take all their troubles away. They don't deserve it.
They always took my pain. Why can't I took theirs?
I guess it's like that. I'm not really important to my grandmothers sister. She doesn't think of me in times of worry or need. I can't say I would be the one who she would maybe give her troubles to, if she could.
But I would take them.

I took her little fragile body into my arms and I held her tight. We didn't say anything, but with this, I wanted to tell her, I would be there.
I don't know if she understood it, but I didn't have the strength to put it into words. I tried so much, but I'm a loser. I'm not strong like she is. I thought I would burst into tears. And it's not me who should cry, I'm not important here, I should be transparent. I should disappear from the scene to not leave an impression that it's all about me. Because it isn't.
I'm just so weak. I can't handle these things. I don't know how.

He was always the one who brought honey. We had these afternoon snack breaks, when everybody would go to the kitchen and make tons and tons of sandwiches. And whenever, he was around, we got to make some with honey and white bread.

I admired how determined he was with his yoga. How beautiful it looked. Again, we wanted to be like him.
He got up when the sun was rising, and stood on his head for 15 minutes. Without moving an inch. It was remarkable. He knew so many different poses. Each one need so much strength and calmness.

Why do I keep using past tense?? It makes tears fall down my cheeks like....like....
Maybe I'm wrong and it will all be fine? Maybe I'm a total idiot, saying the things I'm saying.
Please somebody say I'm an idiot. I would love to be one right now.
I would love.


But it's a sadness that wont leave my heart with a day or two. I feel very down and to be really honest, I just wanna go back to the island.
I wanna be there and play with grass and mud, until autumn comes and all the leaves fall down.

I want to be six again and take my wallet, covered with stickers, and head to the bike.
I want it so much. :( And all the nights in the city, without the cockroaches singing behind the windows, are making me more and more sad.

My heart is really broken right now. It's broken and it hurts. And this particular part can never be mended.

I really don't know what to say, to make it beautiful. I want it to be the most beautiful thing in the world. I want it to be so beautiful that when you close your eyes you will feel happy. I want it to be as beautiful as a hay field moving slowly in wind.
For your honor.

After the plane took off I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, I saw clouds beneath me, thick like a Persian carpet, and the rising sun painted everything so golden, so holy, so free and liberating. It was like the most beautiful view on Earth. Well, okay, there was no Earth involved, but still. I've never seen anything more beautiful.
I felt a lot better. I felt it was more like a beginning, not an end as our silent tears had whispered before. You don't know, I felt so much better at that moment, I wish you had experienced it too because every time I pictured your sad face taking that tiny note under the trophy, I felt an ache in my heart.
I don't know why it hurt so much this time. Maybe, maybe, maybe...?

I liked all the silly little things that made leaving so difficult. Made being without you so hard.
Do you remember (of course you do!) how we were having the dinner on the first night in Algarve and you told me about the channel that always showed porn from midnight to 2 am when you were younger and how every episode was dubbed in Spanish? And then you did this extremely funny impression, saying: "Oh shhiii carino! Ohh shiii! Mas fuerte!" and I laughed so so hard I had tears in my eyes. An older waited glanced at me once or twice and tried to hide his smirk. And then we found out the family eating behind us was Spanish! :D :D
It was so embarrassing. The father was sitting right behind me. His chair almost touched mine.
The next day we went to sunbathe by the swimming pool and continued with the "Oh shhhiii carino!" and dum dee damn, the Spanish family was bathing right next to us and we hadn't noticed before. They must've thought we're complete idiots. :D It still makes me laugh when I think of it. :D

They always say it's great to go traveling and then come back home with so many new emotions. Well, I feel the same. There are so many jokes that I can't wait to share with my friends back home. And there are memories which will make me smile when I walk alone in the city or cut tomatoes for a sandwich.
Duas tostas mistas nao quero tomate :) I hope you haven't forgotten my accent. As I told you, the key to speaking Portuguese is to put "sh" everywhere and vaguely mumble all the word endings which you are not sure of.
Actually, I was happy to find out I understood more and more every day - small talk and every day conversations were not difficult to understand. One day I hope to speak to B and F and everybody else, without you having to translate. Although I enjoy seeing you struggle. :)
You English is getting better and better with every day. I am so proud of you!

One plane after the other, I flew from Frankfurt to Tallinn. Remember the canoeing team in Porto airport? They sat near to me in Frankfurt the whole 4 hours.
To my surprise I felt calm and happy. Some part of my new home was still with me. I managed to read my book and breathe normally. It was comforting to hear them speak and laugh. The language which once reminded me of speaking with an egg in the mouth and saying "sh" as much as possible, has now become something I really like, something that brings a smile on my face when I hear it. Well, that's life. I found out a long time ago that "never say never" is one of the best sayings there is.
Suddenly they all got up and left. That's when I panicked. I started looking for the bracelet and I realized I left it in the last airport. I couldn't breathe.
I sms'd you and you didn't reply. I understood you're never gonna be closer than that anymore. Never closer than a sms. At least that's what it felt like.
I stood up and went on the next plane. Still no sms. And it hit me - you were gone from my life.

Then I flew over the Main river. Oh how I love river views. I fell in love with them in Paris and all over again in Porto. I felt so happy the day we were there, on the bridge, taking pics and enjoying the view. And you translated that somebody behind us said: "Uff... let's go, these people are sleeping in here". But that's us! :D Always wandering somewhere very slowly, enjoying every second the man sitting on a white cloud with a big white beard, has given us. And on that day we enjoyed it 100%. Actually, now that I'm looking back at it, I'm damn lucky I didn't get a diarrhea from that seafood salad. Those shrimps were as gray as Louis Armstrong's tires after Tour de France.
The best memories are from the times we drove around. I like driving with you and listening to music.
Ahaha, do you remember that guy, on our last day together, driving his bicycle next to our car? He had a pocket on the back of his shirt and there was a banana inside of it. I was thinking of opening the window and grabbing the banana. I wonder if maybe he would have come after me, 90km/h and hit me with an air pump. You never know these crazy sportsmen.
Speaking of sport, our badminton tournament sucked. I totally blame you. :) Get your act together, or the record will stay at 8 forever.
I gotta admit, our 4 legged team members where awesome though! :)
Another thing I liked were the lemon trees in your garden. Real trees with real lemons! It looked so awesome. :D
That's what life's all about. Little, simple things.
No Dolce & Gabbana for us. No getting respect with labels and money. We get respect for being who we are. And I'm very pleased with who we are. We compliment each other. :) Isn't it a beautiful thing?

What can I say? I can't hope you to like this humble response to your heartful letter. But I do hope some parts of it make you laugh and remember all the fun we had.
Every time I see a beach now, I remember R laying in the sun, tanned and happy, looking to me and apologizing for not being able to speak in English and then turning his eyes to the sky and saying in a dreamy voice: "The sky is blue... and Benfica is red."
:))))))
I'm a true Porto supporter thanks to you, though. :) I will knit some blue diapers for your first son. F segundo. :)

Oh yeah, Geres, wasn't that a lovely weekend spent in there? Exactly the kind of vacation we were in need of after all these exams and worries. I liked the night in front of the hotel, after the fair in the park, and we were trying to remember that moment forever with out 5 senses (sight, hearing, touch, smell, taste).
Please help me with that one now, my memory is oh so bad. We saw... the street in front of us, cars slowly passing, people walking, and that lonely dog sniffing around the corners. We heard bagpipes and medieval music being played at the fair. We held hands. And it smelled like... oh, help me with these last two.... it smelled like a warm night and bread or something, right? And it tasted like espresso we had drank before the fair?
It was a night I wanted to remember. :)

To be honest, we didn't do anything special in Geres. For people who hunger for exciting stories at home, I have nothing to tell. But it was so good. :) Eating 4 times a day, sunbathing and sleeping a lot. And it was cool when we went to the spa. Vichy massage rocks! Neither us could swallow properly after it though. :D Damn uncomfortable massage beds.
I gained a lot of weight during the weekend in Geres, but as we say in Estonia - fat child, beautiful child.
It makes me burst out laughing when I think about how we met after changing clothes in the locker room and you had managed to hit your head really bad, there was quite a big scar on your forhead and I had accidentally pulled down the shower curtain. XD
It seems like we are 2 losers when we are apart. Every spa should be afraid of us. :D

We had plenty of action too though, for instance when we went to Super Rock Super Bock festival. Seeing Nouvelle Vague live has been my dream for ages and now it finally happened. It was so great to be there with you because since I first sent you my favourite track "Dance With Me", you've been a fan too. I know you want it to be our song, but it just doesn't feel right. It's more like my own personal anthem. But don't worry, one day we will find something that characterizes our friendship and love. :)
The festival itself was great! We drank beer and played games they had on the festival grounds. And when we had drank enough Peter Bjorn and John came on the stage. :) You kept repeating their names and I laughed like a maniac. :D For some reason it sounded like the funniest thing in the world. Peterbjornandjohn :)
We drank more and more and started singing louder and louder:

"...and we don't care about the young folks
talkin' bout the young style
and we don't care about the old folks
talkin' 'bout the old style too
and we don't care about our own folks
talkin' 'bout our own stuff
all we care about is talking
talking only me and you "

We didn't understand the lyrics anymore so we just sung BLANANANANLAAMKUKAKILLLLLUUUUUNANANANNANANA" really really loud and tried to look serious. Some people were looking at us really weird. :D
You beat me in the loudness of course, but as you told me: In Portugal, who talks louder is the king! :D I liked the irony in that. We both rather dislike people who shout just to make their point clear.
You were so funny and careless and I thought you were the best person to go to festivals ever!
We didn't care about the young folks, we didn't care about the old folks. :)

And then, the funniest part was when during the Nouvelle Vague concert the singer wanted us to shout "fuck" while she was singing "Too Drunk To Fuck" and you, for some reason got it wrong, and while everybody else shouted "Fuck!", you yelled with a really loud voice: POOOOOORRTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Jeez, it still makes me wet my pants. XD It was the funniest thing ever! XD XD XD Like you were some sort of a crazy football maniac who doesn't care what festivals and concerts are about, and just goes and yells POOORTTTOOO everywhere. XDXDXD ahahahha

After the festival we were walking to the car and I suddenly had this urge to make the moment last longer and I asked you to sit with me on the grass, under somebody's balcony just next to the street. :D And that we did. I love how you always agree with all sorts of silly things. :) We sat behind some bushes, under a tree and just enjoyed the night a little bit longer. The people passing by looked surprised. :)
"it doesn't matter what we do
where we are going to
we can stick around and see this night through
and we don't care about the young folks ... "
:)

But hey, the tune of the month is of course "Uma Casa Portuguesa"! :) I learned the chorus, which isn't so difficult, it goes like this:

"� uma casa portuguesa, com certeza!
�, com certeza, uma casa portuguesa!"

And then we sang it basically everywhere. Mostly in the car. :D I liked the thing we did with the hand, up and down. And of course the very enthusiastic clapping :D, not to mention the "untsat untsat untsat" part :DDDDD I swear, I will remember it forever. It's one of those moments when our guardian angels smiled, because they knew two soulmates had met. :) Although I'm pretty sure they had hands on their ears when I sung under the shower. :D

We had even more action when we went to club Sasha on the opening night. I couldn't believe you and B managed to get the invitations! 3000 people? 4000? Standing in the queue was horrible! I can't believe they make girls in high heels and make up stand in a queue for more than a hour!
It surprised me that there were hella people in there and nobody was dancing, but nothing stops me and I started dancing pretty soon. I was so happy you did the same! :) Don't you agree it was one of the best club nights ever? The music wasn't the best, the people weren't the best, but you were. :)
Thanks to ignorant Portuguese (soz soz :) ) I managed to get to the first row! Pedro Cazanova yeeeehaaa! :) For me it meant a lot! :) And when at one point I went to the toilet, I was like going up the stairs and some women behind me were like softly supporting my back so I wouldnt fall down. :D It's something that would never happen in Estonia. Okay, there might be some extra enthusiastical people from little towns, but nobody from the capital is that friendly.
All that, and your company, made me dance until 6 in the morning. Boy, was I drunk when we got to the hotel. XD I can't believe you took off my earrings when I passed out. Sometimes I don't understand where you get your ideas. You are a person like nobody else.

It was also so cute to do simple things like taking a walk with the dog. Nik was so happy. :D And I wore the white dress. :) I don't know which of them made you happy, but you were smiling all the time too. :) It was so hot outside on that day. The streets were empty, nobody in the gardens. It looked like a haunted village. :) Only the sun grilling our hair and hot asphalt.
Some Portuguese emo had written on the wall: "the dead is only the beginning". :)))))
But it was a really nice day. Nik peed six hundred and seventy eight times. I saw where you played football as a little boy.
I wish I could go back to that day every time I feel bad or sad or tired in my life. I would go back to that day and feel the sun on my bare shoulders.

Oh and how could I ever finish this letter without mentioning the shrimps? Those moments behind that restaurant table, were our own personal bits of heaven. And although most of the times I gave up after a few, to leave room for all those different kinds of meat, I liked, no, I loved how you tried to clean and share them equally but still ended up giving me 2 in a row and always the biggest. :)
I don't know if I ever thanked you enough for everything. It gets kinda lame when I try to show my gratitude and the truth is that I just can't find words. But you know what I mean. I've seen you struggle with words too. :)
It doesn't really matter at all. Like on that night we came from the waterpipe place and then sat in your backyard and watched the stars. No words were needed. Everything was written in the sky. We only had to read.

I wish the plane hadn't landed. Getting home was awful. Driving on the highway, cars passing. People inside of them plain looking and tired. Babyblue eyes.
My apartment. Setting sun. No wind. Everything stood where I had left it. White corridor floor.
I panicked. Air left my lungs. I fell on my knees. I lived through the first panic attack of my life. I hope the second one will never follow.
I think you heard the fear in my voice. I thought I would be embarrassed later. But I'm not. I know what I felt and it was real.
It was real and it still is.
Now I know why people have memories. So that I could remember those lion eyes when I last enjoyed your presence.


I have nobody else, but you, to thank for all these moments and smiles throughout that month. I liked the calm rhythm of every day. Relaxing and peaceful. Like a piano sonata played perfectly. Feathery touches on cold piano keys. Music so beautiful your eyes fill up with tears.
And when we said our goodbyes, a startling end, waking up from a dream to understand the music has stopped.
I can't believe I really have a person like you in my life. Although they say that people who have meant the most to you, in past lives and such, will, in the end, find a way to you.

And our way... our way was paved with cobblestones. :)


Yours truly,

Blonde Mafia

Tere,

I've been in Portugal for a few weeks now. It's super nice!
I spent the first 2 days in Coimbra, it's an university city near Porto (that's where the airport was). I arrived at night and went to sleep. It was like one of those houses that has a long corridor and many rooms and in each room lives a student. So it's kinda cool, to cook together and watch TV and you know.
The next day when I got up, I went to the bathroom and at the same moment a half naked guy with a towel, came out of it. And I think I scared him shitless. He did this little jump on the spot. And he didn't say anything, just vanished into his room. This was the moment I remembered that they don't have blondes in Portugal. Or potato noses. Or very round faces and blue eyes (Everything that is considered boring and ugly in Estonia). Halle-fucking-berry-lujah!!!

I also went to the university, had a breakfast there and used wireless. And oh damn... it's so unbelievable unbelievable that you can study on the balcony outside, eat these really good Portuguese style grilled cheese and ham sandwiches and feel the sun on your face, warm breeze...
Back at home you study in the darkness while being super stressed, wearing 4 sweaters and scarf, eating mouldy cookies.
After that I went back to the house. It was like a 4 min walk. Basically go 3 houses back and voila you're at home. Forget driving for 45 minutes and swearing because all the pedals are in ice.
Oh yeah, and then I went back 5 minutes later to eat again. This was the moment I remembered they eat shitloads in Portugal. All the time.
So we went back and ate again, only now we had more people in the table. And then one of the girls took me sightseeing. It was cool but after every 5 meters, she met new people who she had to talk to. Like seriously, we stopped 8 times in 10 minutes to stand on the street and talk with people. That means, she talked and I just kinda stood and wondered what they were speaking about. Plus everytime you meet somebody, you're supposed to kiss them on both cheeks. So... 8 times of meeting about 5 people... it's more or less 40 people... and thats 80 kisses. You know what I mean? Too much saliva.
And then we sat down and she had a conversation with 2 girls and a boy for 45 minutes. And they didn't say absolutely nothing to me. Uff... firstly, it was so boring and secondly so annoying. Like... how many times have I been in the company on foreigners in Estonia, and they have always been my priority. You know, just to make them feel nice in my country. And now, here I was, feeling lonely and sad. Not at first, but after 40 minutes, yes.
And then we got up and the girl told me: Ahahah, I spoke in Portuguese the whole time. Sorry! I will talk in English from now on!
I was like: aww...don't worry!
Then we crossed the road, went upstairs to a library (which was like this amazing place for studying: huge windows and then you could sit and look out and behind you was a cafe. So prefect for studying) and the girl went straight to another girl and they begun speaking in Portuguese. And I was like: Well.... okay.
And they took about 30 minutes.
I know, because I had approximately 2 hours until I had to meet F.
And they were like blablablablabla and I just stood and smiled and thought how much I wanna go home. You know, the first day in somewhere else, and you kinda realize it's not your home and not your people and not the place for you and nobody wants you there.
I felt really down. Missed P a lot. And I promised myself that I'd never be in a situation like that. I saw from the first moment that the girl was kinda cold towards me. Talked a lot, but didn't like really care at all. And I should have left and walked on my own. I always manage by my own.
Every experience makes you smarter. So I'm kinda thankful, like always, for things that happen to me - good and bad.

After that I was very happy to see F and we went to see the oldest building of University of Coimbra, where they study law. Isn't it the most beautiful school you have ever seen in your life? God damn, the colours where so soothing. And the view from the school was super too.


and the view:




That evening we went back to Santa Maria da Feira. Awwwwwww how happy I was to see all the little streets and houses. Old men walking with their dogs and little shops with open doors.
I saw the worlds cutest dog Alex again and F's house. :)
So from Friday night to Wednesday we just chilled and went to the beach. Okay, not every day, but at least twice... or three times. xD The beaches are big but until now, I really haven't seen anything special. I've heard so many stories about the worlds prettiest beaches in Portugal, but really they are just normal beaches. In some, the sand is not so clean as back home. And the sea is cold and during the first days the waves were like so huge that we couldn't swim. I saw only 2 boys swimming and it consisted of diving head first into a wave and then getting on the surface just in time for the next 5 meter monster.
Not exactly my idea of fun fun fun.
What is great is of course the sun. Damn, clear sky and huge yellow sun. Mmm... perfect beach weather (I just heard it was hailing in Estonia yesterday).


(name of the beach is Esmoriz and of course you pronounce it szhh...mmuriiiizzzzz)

I saw the beach soccer tournament in Santa Maria da Feira. It was really interesting to see it. I liked the final game a lot. Sun was shining, it was a beautiful evening and everybody sat there and watched the game. :) The team I liked won! :)

Okay, so on Wednesday, me, F and his brother M, drove about 2 hours to Geres, a city in north of Portugal. It's were mainly older people rest in the summer. And yes, it was very very calm in there and quiet. We spent the days by the swimming pool and just sunbathed. And of course, ate 3 times a day in the hotel restaurant and at the pool cafe too.
F's grandfather and aunt were there the whole time and during the first day some of his cousins or something and later also his mom and dad, so we always had the longest table in the restaurant and everybody blablablablad. It was lovely.
One day I told F that his aunts dress was really pretty and F told it to her. And the later in the evening F told me that his aunt had pulled him aside that afternoon and said: Pssst, I got this dress from Natura, you should go and buy one from Stella.
xD xD xD isn't it cute? Like I swear, his whole family is like that. His father tries to switch every meat and salad that I don't want, with his. And her mom is so concerned about where I sit in the table, so that my view would be flawless.

One day it was rainy from morning to evening, so we went to the spa instead of the swimming pool and I got a Vichy shower massage. I had to lay down and there was like a row of showers and water came down on my back while a woman was massaging me. It was quite nice.
After that we had the dinner and then me, F and M sat in our room on the bed, played cards and drank Bacardi and Coke. It was fun. Especially when they didn't understand the rules of the game at all and randomly played random cards to eachother. The more we drank, the clearer the rules became though. :D
On Friday we went to a medieval fair that took place in a park. It was so lovely. People dressed in medieval clothes and musicians playing bagpipes. It was dark and it was kinda mysterious to walk in the warm night like that. I bought a necklace from there:


It's hard to breathe while wearing it. :D


Next day we got up like at ten in the morning and went to a national park behind the medieval fair park. It was so lovely. I like views that are dark green. Like dark green forests and trees and the grass. It looks so fresh. :)
We also saw a lake and a guy was renting boats there for 3 euros, so we took one and oared around the lake. I did pretty nice. :) But years of oaring in the island of Muhu, where I spent my summers as a kid, have taught me well. :)
Then suddenly F's dad called and said that he is reaching the top of the mountain Pedra Belle (7km walk on a road up the hill) and that we should come there by car to see the wonderful view. And that we did:



834m :)

On Saturday night we went to eat in a beautiful beautiful little hotel on the top off the hill to see again an amazing amazing amazing view:


I swear, it's the perfect place to sit and drink wine at. I want to send my parents there one day.
You can also swim in there coz they have a swimming pool behind the hotel. :)

and after that we drove back to party in Feira. And offffff course I had a migrane. :( By the time I got to the house, I was weak and wanted to throw up. It made things worse that I fucked the night up for F too. So I decided to pull myself together and we still went out for an hour. We met his friends and they all chat in Portuguese (I can only guess it was about football. But you never know. :D )
I drank a glass of vodka with a drop of coke (I love how they fill 80% of the glass with alcohol and 20% with whatever non-alcoholic drink that goes with your cocktail. It tastes like that too, though. Sometimes you can feel fire coming out of your nostrils when you smoke at the same time). Not even migrane stops me from drinking vodka. xD
I would have wanted to go to a club so bad... :(
But as always, my head has a life of its own.

On Sunday night I went to the cinema for the second time (First time was during the 1st week and I went to see Br�no. Which was completely wtf?!)
Harrrrrry Potttttttter!
It was truly awesome. The director did an amazing job. Respect. I want to see it again in Estonia, with P. :)
And then on Monday we drove 4 hours, to Algarve. And that's where I am now. :)
On Tuesday sky was cloudy the whole day so we didn't go to the beach. We took a really long walk on a shopping street and later went to a mall to buy food for lunch. It was a really nice day and the evening was even nicer: We went to eat in a pizzeria, drank a lot of sangria and then went on a Ferris wheel in a small amusement park. It was very very sweet to see the whole city at night from up there. :)

And this is from the hotel window:


I call it a dildo.

With this lovely last word, I will end my short and sweet post. :)

musi

Weather's been pretty nice over the last couple of days. MS will come sunbathe with me tomorrow. Oh happy day! I'm so tired of constantly running somewhere or doing something, now I can finally relax, go buy some unhealthy crap and lay on the grass/sand with my homeboy and chill with some extra loud reggaeton playing in the backround. :)
Yesterday I was at my MO's (the boy) place and we grilled, chilled and watched the sun set and come up again with some of his buddies from Saku.
What is it with Saku? It seems like everybody is suddenly from Saku. I spent Jaanip�ev in Saku and now I went on the beach at 4 am to see some very drunk Saku people swim with their clothes on.
I finally bought the ticket to Portugal. I'll be away from 9th of July to 5th of August. I just found out from F that Nouvelle Vague is performing in Porto on the 11th of July. Halle-fucking-luujah! Life couldn't seriously be any better. Nouvelle Vague is my ultimate favourite band. "Dance with me" is my personal anthem and now I'm gonna see them! Ticket is only 40 euros so that's not a problem either! I'm so happy I'm gonna do a summersault right now! :D
Okay...I'm never gonna be THAT happy. XD

Seems like I wont be able to finish driving school before going to Portugal though. Effin teacher was away for a week and fucked all my plans. But that's what an average Estonian man always does - he fucks your plans.
Anyway, whatever. I was depressed for a day but then I got over it. I'm gonna come back in August and see what happens. Besides I gotta learn parallel parking with F. XD
I hope Portuguese police is a bunch of friendly chaps. XD

Singing Festival is on the 5th of July. I'm gonna go and see my little B standing in the front frow singing her lungs out. Then I'm gonna grab some extra greasy meatballs with extra greasy potatoes and some suspicious ketchup and head to a greener spot of the hillside to sit and enjoy it all. If all goes well I'll manage to get really drunk by the time they start signing patriotic songs at the end of it all, round 19, and I can pretend I know all the words.
Like what the hell. I can honestly say that all my friends know some Estonian songs by heart, like some weird Ivo Linna or Vello Orumets songs, but I don't. I don't know any.
I wasn't interested when I was younger and I'm sure not interested in it now. Yeah, my dad listened to all sorts of Estonian songs when I was younger, but I didn't really pay attention. I can say I'm the least patriotic person I know.
I LOVE Estonia. But only one specific spot at one specific time at one specific person. And that's it.

No news from Italy either. I should be going there in September, but they haven't even signed any papers. Well, grazie Antonio, grazie Julia, for doing absolutely nothing. Everybody keeps saying it's how Italians run their things, but I'd apprecciate if they'd put a bit more effort into it.
I wonder how people can do business with them. It would absolutely kill me. I would totally fail. If you don't get things done before a deadline then you fall into debts and that's it.

I downloaded MSN messenger for B today. And dads laptop has a mic so me and B can call eachother when we are apart and talk. :) I'm so happy!
I will call her from Portugal!
And I'll try to get her a webcam before I go to Italy. I can't really imagine being away from her for such a long time. :(
Anyway, we'll see. It may happen that Giuseppe and Maria decide they don't want me in Sicily after all.

Yesterday my grandmother (fathers mom) came here and visited us. She's lookin' sharp as always. Later I sent her on the train and as I was watching it disappear behind the trees, I was listening to Frank Sinatra singing "What'll I do"

Whatll I do
When you are far away
And I am blue
Whatll I do?

I can't imagine my life without her. I liked how we walked to the station and she held me under my arm. The whole day was very beautiful. :)

I'd upload some pics but photobucket is acting like an average Estonian man. :P

So, eventhough I've got lots of things to worry about and I'm far from just relaxin'....
LET THE SUMMER BEGIN!

... party party party.

Will you be lookin' for me in the mornin'? :)

Happy birthday my beautiful grandmother. She has never ever said a bad word to me. Never.
She has a very pure heart. So good. Through and through.
I wish I would be more like you.
I love you.

Okay, as always, I managed to get reaaaaaaaaallllly sick. I had like 38c fever and my throat was so swollen I couldn't breathe. The same thing I had back in October when B was in hospital with it in Turkey. Horrible shit.

So now I'm pretty much okay. Took me about 5 days and a lot of inhalation to get over it.
Mom went to Finland on the weekend. I changed my ticket, going next Saturday. Anyway when mom got back then she run into my room and started talking what she did and what she bought. And she was like: So I tried all these clothes on and tried to imagine if they would fit you. But the clothes this season are SOOOO stupid. They wouldn't suit you at all - you put them all and your boobs are totally out or they just wont fit!

XD XD I was like: Geeeee mom I know!!!

I've been tryin' to tell some of my friends just to, you know, have the girly whine on how I hate the clothes and dresses right now. I put them on and my breasts look like I'm about to nurse a fucking baby or something.
And then my friends have this annoyed look on their faces like, jesus, lose some weight or something then. XD
These are the moments when you realize what the saying- best friends look alike- means. Like seriously, you need somebody to have the same body measures to really understand the deal. Unfortunately my friends are like from Americas Next Top Model.
I'm sure they have their own problems and they can chat about them best with other ANTM's.

It's just that the world is so unfair. I feel really bad when out of 20 things that I try on, everything looks bad on me, because I am a woman. And I'm not 190cm, I don't have flat stomach and ribs that show, without breasts NOR ass.
This is not beautiful, isn't it?
I don't know. Maybe it is and the world is fucked for me. But I feel stressed, I feel fat. I disgust myself and I wanna go home and cry the whole night. And there's nobody to comfort me.

I don't wanna be sad in shops. And I don't want to have ANTM's in these stores roll their eyes when I can't shop in 2,5 minutes and put on everything I want and show my ribs.

I really like the look I have though. I've never been completely frustrated with it. There are moments when I hate myself, like every girl. And these moments happen basically every day. But when it comes to me and the opposite sex, then I feel really good. I like to be a woman. I like men.
I like how clothes can compliment your body and how jewelry rests on your glowing skin. I think I'm definitely a sensual type of woman. At least more sensual than ...somebody who is not sensual at all. XD lol I like being sexy and I'm not giving up on life. Just jesus fucking christ, there's this shop where they sell lingerie, the whole shop is totally full of it. Rows and rows of beautiful lingerie. At all they have is A cup. Or occasionally some B cups. WTF?!
I'm not somebody who has huge breasts. No, fuck, I'm a normal girl. WTF
Just I don't understand this world. And shops with number 32-34 jeans make me tired. And sad.
I know that some of the people I've spoken to have the same problem, so here I am, just speaking out loud.
If you didn't like it then please just go read news or something.

I'm sure one day I'll write about it in a really funny and witty way, but today I'm just a bit frustrated. Nevertheless, happy with who I am. :)

Well, miau... :)

Tra le nuvole e i sassi passano i sogni di tutti (Ligabue)
passa il sole ogni giorno senza mai tardare. (Tiziano Ferro)
Dove sar� domani? (Enrico Ruggeri)
Dove sar�? (Gianni Morandi)
Tra le nuvole e il mare c'� una stazione di posta (Franco Battiato)
uno straccio di stella messa l� a consolare (Massimo Ranieri)
sul sentiero infinito (Max Pezzali)
del maestrale (Eugenio Finardi)
Day by day (Zucchero)
Day by day (Cesare Cremonini)
hold me shine on me. (Zucchero)
shine on me (Cesare Cremonini)
Day by day save me shine on me (Zucchero, Carmen Consoli, Mauro Pagani, Cesare Cremonini, Eugenio Finardi)
Ma domani, domani, domani, lo so (Francesco Renga)
Lo so che si passa il confine, (Roberto Vecchioni)
E di nuovo la vita (Mauro Pagani)
sembra fatta per te (Giuliano Palma)
e comincia (Elio)
domani (Elio e Le Storie Tese, Vittorio Cosma )
domani � gi� qui (Jovanotti)

rap 1 Estraggo un foglio nella risma nascosto scrivo e non riesco forse perch� il sisma mha scosso (Caparezza)
rap 2 Ogni vita che salvi, ogni pietra che poggi, fa pensare a domani ma puoi farlo solo oggi (Frankie Hi Energy)

e la vita la vita si fa grande cos� (Gianluca Grignani)
e comincia domani (Giuliano Sangiorgi)
Tra le nuvole e il mare si pu� fare e rifare (Claudio Baglioni)
con un p� di fortuna (Ron)
si pu� dimenticare. (Luca Carboni)
Dove sar� (Baustelle)
domani? Dove sar�? (Samuele Bersani e Baustelle)
oh oh oh (coro: Carmen Consoli, Antonella Ruggiero, Alioscia, Pacifico, Mango, Massimo Ranieri, Bluvertigo, Nek, Giuliano Palma, Antonello Venditti, Roberto Vecchioni, Albano)

rap 3 Dove sar� domani che ne sar� dei miei sogni infranti, dei miei piani
Dove sar� domani, tendimi le mani, tendimi le mani (Marracash)

Tra le nuvole e il mare si pu� andare e andare (Laura Pausini)
sulla scia delle navi di l� del temporale (Carmen Consoli)
e qualche volta si vede (Nek)
domani (Antonello Venditti)
una luce di prua (Nek)
e qualcuno grida: Domani (Antonello Venditti)

rap 4 Come laquila che vola
libera tra il cielo e i sassi siamo sempre diversi e siamo sempre gli stessi,
hai fatto il massimo e il massimo non � bastato e non sapevi piangere e adesso
che hai imparato non bastano le lacrime ad impastare il calcestruzzo
eccoci qua cittadini dAbruzzo
e aumentano dintensit� le lampadine una frazione di
secondo prima della finee la tua mamma,
la tua patria da ricostruire,
comu le scole, le case e specialmente lu core
e puru nu postu cu facimu lamore
(Jovanotti, J Ax, Fabri Fibra e in chiusura Sud Sound System)

non siamo cos� soli (Giuliano Sangiorgi)
a fare castelli in aria (J Ax e Fabri Fibra)
non siamo cos� soli (Giuliano Sangiorgi)
sulla stessa barca (J Ax , Fabri Fibra)
non siamo cos� soli (Giorgia)
a fare castelli in aria (J Ax e Fabri Fibra)
non siamo cos� soli (Giorgia)
a stare bene in Italia (J Ax e Fabri Fibra)
sulla stessa barca (J Ax)
a immaginare un nuovo giorno in Italia (Giorgia, Giusy Ferreri, Dolcenera, Mario Venuti, Jovanotti, J Ax, Fabri Fibra)
Tra le nuvole e il mare si pu� andare, andare
Sulla scia delle navi di l� dal temporale (Piero Pel�)
Qualche volta si vede una luce di prua e qualcuno grida, domani (Morgan)
Non siamo cos� soli (Giorgia, Mario Venuti, Giusy Ferreri, Dolcenera, Giuliano Sangiorgi)
(tromba solo di Roy Paci)
Domani � gi� qui
Domani � gi� qui (Jovanotti, Marracash, FabriFibra, J Ax)
(Assolo violino Mauro Pagani)
Ma domani domani, domani lo so, lo so, che si passa il confine (Gianna Nannini)
E di nuovo la vita sembra fatta per te e comincia (Elisa)
domani (Sud Sound System)
Tra le nuvole e il mare, si pu� fare e rifare
Con un p� di fortuna si pu� dimenticare (Manuel Agnelli Afterhours)
E di nuovo la vita, sembra fatta per te (Mango)
E comincia (Niccol� Fabi)
(coro finale)
domani
E domani domani, domani lo so
Lo so che si passa il confine
E di nuovo la vita sembra fatta per te
E comincia domani
(Manuel Agnelli, Dolcenera, Zucchero, Niccol� Fabi, Pacifico, Giusy Ferreri, Alioscia, Pacifico, Max Pezzali, Caparezza, Niccol� Agliardi, Luca Carboni, Roy Paci, Tricarico, Ron, Giuliano Sangiorgi, negramaro, Negrita, Giorgia, Francesco Renga, Malika Ayane, Laura Pausini, Morgan, Jovanotti, Massimo Ranieri, Nek, Enrico Ruggeri, Piero Pel�, Antonello Venditti, Roberto Vecchioni, Carmen Consoli, Mango, Cesare Cremonini, Saturnino)
Domani � gi� qui, domani � gi� qui (Jovanotti)

I found out that you can't put frozen dumplings on a hot frying pan with olive oil and expect them to turn into amazingly well cooked tasty plateful.
Nope, instead they burn into little black nuts. Which isn't my idea of a dinner.

I've been translating with P for the past week. We translated this long long long ding dong text about cardiovascular disease. It's more boring than you'd think.
Almost every day for 5-6 hours. I hope it's done now because I have to do my school driving theory exam on Friday and I'm studying for it constantly. Sucks.

So... what else.. Ah, yes I celebrated my 20th birthday the other day. I read from WW's blog that there are supposed to be some kind of rules which prohibit you from writing about it. But there aren't. So if you wanna hear about the revelry, then better hold your breath and hope that she'll write something coz I'm obviously too lazy plus I have memory problems.
I can only tell you about the day after, when I got up and found out that for some unknown reason the whole kitchen was covered with whipped cream. 0_o

On Saturday I'm going to Finland. Just booked the tickets. P called and said she wants to buy Sims 3 and my mom said she wants to go shopping, and I was like, okay then. We'll see. I'm already regretting having invited mom, but well, life with dad isn't the most interesting thing in the world so I kinda felt sorry for her.

On Sunday I'm gonna have my navel pierced again. The piercing is supposed to grow out in 3 years. Mine grew out in 2. So now I'm gonna go and let them hurt me again. Oh boy it's horrible. After it you can't sit, breathe, eat or sleep.

MR (too many M's in da neighborhood)just won a horseback riding tournament. She has always has it in her, I'm telling ya. GO YOU!
And we were discussing how we should meet coz she has LOADS of stuff to tell me and I have ... well.... nothing to tell her :D BUT I have Johnny Depp films and that definitely counts for something, right?!

By the way, something funny I read. RULES THAT GUYS WISHED WOMEN KNEW:
14. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
and
20. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

XD

And here's a little one-on-one gay action with Bruno:
http://www.dlisted.com/node/32308

I've been sunbathing the past couple of days. Burnt my chest and my arms. Now they are red and itchy.
The funny thing is that the first thing that actually gets tanned are my legs. The rest of the body gets tanned slower. I love sun, but I think I have to take a break coz I don't wanna over do it.
Well, I heard it's gonna be 8 degrees (EIGHT) on Thursday and heavy rain for a week, so that's summer for you.

5th of July is the singing festival, everybody who doesn't have tickets yet, go and buy.
I'm in 400 eek, sector B.

So, happy birthday to everyone who has a birthday today. Everybody else - enjoy the first of June!

Ps. Sun comes up at 04:17 am and sets at 22:20 pm :) Pretty amazing!




"Iz tooooo hot..."

Church Lady, can you spare her a song,
Cos Glory Halleluiah, ain't enough for her wrongs ,
Church Lady, can she borrow some time,
Cos she needs to sit down and reflect on her behind.
She can't see the forest for the trees,
She got a child who's only three,
And no child is deserving
Of an open door policy

Church Lady, can you talk her some sense,
She may be a friend of mine,
But her values are worth two cents.
I've tried my point of view,
All of her friends have tried it too,
So Church Lady, sing her that song, sing her that song.

Glory, (Halleluiah) Halleluiah,
Let them show you the way
(Let ‘em show you the way)
Glory, (Halleluiah) Halleluiah,
Cos That's already been paved
(Already been paved)
Glory, (Halleluiah) Halleluiah,
(Let them show you)
Let them show you the way
(Ya-hay-ya-hay)
Glory, (Halleluiah) Halleluiah,
Cos That's already been paved
(Mmmmmmmmmm)

Church Lady, can you save her a prayer,
She ain't been home since last night,
And she's got us runnin scared.
Church Lady, do you have this emergency light
(Yes I do)
She needs to be safe from herself,
She's got her own way to find.
She can't see the forest for the trees,
She got a child who's only three,
She's got her head in the clouds,
Holding on to some fantasy.


Church Lady, you better find her a hymn,
She's going down that road,
She'll be early seeing Him.
I've tried my point of view,
All of her friends tried it too,
So Church Lady, sing her that song, sing her that song.

Glory, (Halleluiah) Halleluiah,
Let show them you the way
(Let ‘em show you the way)
Glory, (Glory) Halleluiah,
Cos That's already been paved
(Already been paved)
Glory, (Halleluiah) Halleluiah,
(Let them show you)
Let them show you the way
(Ya-hay-ya-hay)
Glory, (Halleluiah) Halleluiah,
Cos That's already been paved
(Ya-ya-ya)


Halleluiah, it's paved.
I tried my point of view,
All of her friends tried it too
So Church Lady, sing her that song, sing her that song.
Sing her that song, sing her that song

The curse we carry around in this family has once again started causing pain to me. I can not sleep, I can not eat. The sadness is raising it's head again. And for what?
Just to remind me that it will never leave. It's sleeping somewhere under the ribs, behind the vulgarly red heart of mine, crying salty tears that get mixed with the blood running in my veins.
Just to turn into a flock of babyblue birds flying into the sunset when I'm not watching. Even when there is no sun.

And what do I do? I do exactly like the drug dealers in Scarface, who wanted to saw Al Pacino's hands off. I turn the volume up.

Sube
sube
sube el volumen
sube

And when the chainsaw starts. Nobody will hear me.

Dr. Gray on Grays Anatomy said something in the lines of ... "I'm not wondering how people go crazy. I'm wondering how they don't."
I remembered it, because I understood her so well. Or at least I understood her in some way.
We study, work, smile, laugh. And sometimes horrible things happen. They happen more often than they should. They happen suddenly. They can come out of the blue. They may leave you breathless.
Boyfriends die, girlfriends get hurt in accidents, dogs eat poison, cars crash, houses fall into peaces.
Yet we don't go crazy. Isn't it something... amazing.
Isn't it amazing to look into the eyes of an old woman whose husband has died. Her looks have gone. Her best friend fell infront of a train when she was standing next to her. She lost her baby when she was 18.
Yet her hand is steady when she cuts her 85th birthday cake. And she still smiles when sun comes out after the rain.
Isn't in amazing?
Isn't it what's life about? Smiling after the rain.
Isn't it something...

I watched Oprah today and they were speaking about married couples who haven't had sex for years.
There was a couple who looked so sweet. They were funny, they really loved each other. Yet, they didn't remember when they had last had sex. The woman said she could go on like that until the day she dies, because she is quite okay with it. Her husband, on the other hand, said it hurt him. And he couldn't live like that. Without touching his beautiful woman.
They were both asked if they have a sexual fantasy. And the guy said: I fantasize of my wife with other men. If I can't have her, then I want others to have. And I want to be able to see it. She is a beautiful woman. And there is nothing better than to see a beautiful woman get pleased.

And it was so sweet. I swear, my eyes were in tears (now that's something new, lol). I should probably tell you that the couple had been together for 19 years, they had 3 kids and both the man and the woman wouldn't win any beauty contests. The man was a typical white guy with a beer belly and the woman was an African American with really short hair.
But what they said, how they acted, their love....it made them so beautiful.

It was sad to watch how different men and women are. I understood so well what the woman meant. And I also understood the mans point of view.

The woman said that her sexual fantasy is to be dominated.
And then it was said on Oprah that the majority of women in the whole world share this fantasy.
I have to say, I'm one of those women. But I don't know, lets be honest, who isn't?

The woman said that everything is on her shoulders. Kids, school, work, house, dinners, cleaning etc etc. And she would love to feel like a woman. She doesn't want to be hit or beaten or being dominated in any kind of abusive way. She just wants to feel like a woman in bed.

I think the problem is that most men don't want to seem too rough or thoughtless or self centered. They want to show that they can pleasure the woman in a sweet, long, caring way.
But to be honest, after some time it gets so boring.

There is something natural about guy taking the lead in bed. Of course it's really awesome if the woman and the man change roles from time to time. But I think it just feels right when they guy shows he is a man. Be as passionate as you naturally are. I know you have so much libido. Show it.
Don't be afraid your girl will not break.
Push her on the bed and take her clothes off. Don't linger. She will get cold. :D
Tell her to obey you. Say what you want. And she will do the same.
The woman will feel she is so beautiful... her man wants her so much. She feels feminine, her man is so strong. And then she can let go and forget every stressful thing in her life.
Because women ARE very complex. Their minds are constantly working and when they are stressed then the level of their testostesrone will get low. Together it they will lose their libido and also the force to live. They will get tired and unhappy.
Having sex makes them feel alive and joyful. It makes a person beautiful.

But some people haven't found that passion inside of them yet. They don't know what exactly to do when they get between the sheets. No, sure they know WHAT to do. But they don't know how to do it WELL.
I would just like to tell them to let go. Feel free. Play.
It's all about playing.

Okay, it's getting a bit too graphical here, but I just feel I need to say these things. Maybe there are people who don't know things like that! Maybe you weren't born with a porn gene. And that's totally fine.
I would so like to write a book about this. XD I know, horrible. It would probably have one of these really lame names like "15min in heaven" or something. XD

Number one is NOT to get to the hot spot during the first 30 seconds. Don't you know how to play? Tease. Don't let the other person know what you're going to do next.
If she can name everything you will do in the right order and place them on a timeline, then that's definitely not good. It means you're not surprising her anymore. You're not teasing. You don't make her excited and waiting....shivering for you.

Ah.... I will stop here. Just that, on Oprah today, it was said that a huge number of the population doesn't know where is their clitoris. They don't know where it is!
They don't know what's it for!
Oh my god.... isn't that just horrible?? :D

So forgive me if this post was a little bit too much for you. I just had to say these things out loud.
Playyyyyy...let your imagination run. Play.

And uff, yes of course, some of you are thinking right now: "But I don't want teasing, I WANT to get to the point right away!"
Well, that was just not the point I wanted to make today. Of course there are moments when you don't want or need to wait.
But sometimes it gets very very slow for nothing. When it could be slow and still awesome. But people don't play. Because they don't quite know how, or they find it's not necessary. Well, if you want to leave your partner totally gobsmacked, then yes it is.
That's all I wanted to say.
:)
And as I've said it before, it's just my point of view.


Some time ago I read that If you were to think of your zodiac Sun sign as your soul -- your inner personality and potential then you could say that your rising sign is your physical self or the face you present to the world.
Well, I'm a taurus. That should be my inner personality and potential.
But the mask I wear when I meet others is my rising sign, which in my case is Virgo.
And once you get 20, which will happen tomorrow for me, your rising sign should start affecting you more and more.
I decided to copy a bit about my rising sign here. So you could see if you notice a little bit of Blonde-Mafia in that.

People with Virgo rising are often a little understated in their personal mannerisms and appearance. Generally, there is an intelligent and reserved aura about Virgo rising individuals that is unmistakable. These are actually somewhat shy people who need time to analyze things around them before they warm up to both situations and people. This quality can be received as a rather stand-offish, cool, and even critical manner (depending on the audience).

Virgo ascendant natives have a tendency to worry a lot, especially when confronted with new situations. They notice the tiniest details that others overlook. Many people with this position have a tendency to attract (or be attracted to) people who need help.

There's a quiet charm to many Virgo rising people. Once they have the chance to warm up to new people and situations, you'll find they have a lot to offer. They'll help you out of a jam, go out on a limb for you, and surprise you with a natural modesty under a somewhat critical and standoffish manner.

They do everything skillfully with a fine sense of craftsmanship and precision, perfectionism, care and attention to detail.

Well, I can go even deeper and find out Virgos planet, Mercury has to say about me.

Virgo Rising and Mercury in Gemini:
Your ruling planet, Mercury is in the quick, lively, alert sign of Gemini, indicating that you are an extremely intellectual, mentally active person. You are interested in everything; you grasp new ideas quickly; you respond rapidly to changing needs and circumstances. Organizing ideas and information is your forte. You like changes and travel, you are always on the search for novelty. You like movement and commotion. Facility with the spoken word. You like writing. You could be a writer, editor, librarian, work with computers, manage a fast-paced office. Too much mental activity, however, creates nervous stress. It would be well for you to learn ways and make time to really slow down and relax your nervous system, as it tends to be rather high-strung.



Astrology is a science. And I feel everybody should study it. I'm pretty sure that one day everybody will.
There is so much to learn about yourself. How to live, what to do, to be a better person.
I don't know much you saw me in that Virgo description, but I really feel better after I found out why I do the things I do and why I may sometimes seem like the total opposite of who my sign is telling me to be.

And now a little something that I will write on the first page of my porn book:

Moon in Scorpio:
Courageous, brave, independent, not a fearful nature. The type of sensual woman who likes eroticism.

:)))

I was feeling very sick last night and while trying to fall asleep I stumbled upon Am�lie on some random channel. I saw just some 20min from the end.
But what I saw was so cute, so sweet. :)
So here it is, just to share with you.
Maybe it makes you think you'd like to try something like this too. I would. :) I hope the guy wont think I'm a retard though. XD

Coz I Love You - Slade


When we're miles apart you still reach my heart how I love you
I just like the things you do mmm,
don't you change the things you do mmm,

KBC: Recently, my sister had a child. A few months before hand, she had a baby shower. I was invited, because my sister likes getting presents. I got them Hungry Hungry Hippos. The reason for this? My brother-in-law, when young, was a terror, and his mother was an actual single mother. The father left the day of conception.
KBC: One day, his mother got fed up with my brother-in-laws antics, she said 'That's it, grab one toy, you're going to the orphanage!' So he grabs HHH, they walk around a mall a bit, he's clutching that thing to him saying 'I *sob* Don't *Sob* wanna *sob* go to the orphan*sob*age!'
KBC: And then they go home. But this story isn't about my brother-in-law, or his mother, or even my nephew, really. It's about the baby shower, when I went out to buy their gift- Hungry Hungry Hippos.
KBC: I go to Walmart, because it's the only thing open at the time I went out. I go to the toy section, look at the Lego, crappy excuse for action figures, then grab the game. After that, I start heading for the cash registers.
KBC: On the way towards the cashes, I pass the pharmacy and realize, 'Hey, I need condoms.' Because, well, condoms expire after four years. So, I grab a box of condoms, Tiny Trojans (they invaded in a pony, not a horse) and head to the cashes with my HHH in tow.
KBC: While waiting at the cash, I see their impulse buys. Impulse buy at this cash was gummy bears. This reminded me about a story I heard that eating too many gummy bears can turn your pee black. So I picked up some. For science. (Post-script: It didn't)
KBC: I'm waiting for the cashier, and there's two people in front of me. The cashier is this old, 80 or older blue haired bat who likes talking. She rung the items up for the people in front of me and talked to them for a few minutes, despite their wanting to pay and leave. And then I get served.
KBC: She looks at me and smiles, then looks at my items. Then looks at me. And looks at my items. And then just glares at me. I'm standing right in front of her, after a long 12 hour shift, in a trenchcoat, not having shaved for a week. That's when it hits me, I just won the condom game, where you grab three items, one being condoms, and see if you can get a reaction. You know, coathanger, garbage bags, condoms. Something like that.
KBC: By the way she's looking at me, she must think I'm a child molester. So I say to her. 'Oh, uh, I'm new in town...do you know where I can get a white, panelled van?' And her jaw drops. She scans the items, as she hadn't yet, as fast as fast can be, I give her the money and she pretty much throws it back at me.
KBC: I thank her for her service, and start to leave the store. Before I leave, I look back, and I see her, on the phone, looks like she's yelling, using her hand beside her to try and judge height next to her, probably giving my description to someone. And that's why I'm not allowed at the east end Wal-mart again. END.

P�ha hinduismiraamat. Esimesed 2 lauset toovad v�lja elut�ed.
Pildistamise ajal sai veel nenditud et "munnigi ei n�e".
Vot sulle s�h.

Would You Mind - Kyla
produced by Crazy Cousinz

I remember when I first heard that Christina Applegate was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was shocked. She has always been one of the actresses who I really like and admire. Later I heard she had decided to let doctors remove both of her breasts. Whenever I got a chance, I looked for her in the magazines etc, just to hear how she's doing.
Today I turned the TV on and Christina was on Oprah talking about her recovery.

I felt SO touched. I couldn't help but to cry the whole time (yes, for about an hour) and I knew I had to blog about this.

She was 36 while being diagnosed and what she kept saying was: women should all be aware that breast cancer may surprise you before you turn 40.
I checked some web pages and you can start going to regular checkups after turning twenty.
Also, I know that most of the people, including my friends, who I love and care for, think that if you do not have a history of breast cancer in your family, you should not be worried.
That is completely wrong. Most of the people who have a cancer in their breast ( every seventh woman in USA!) don't have any history of cancer in their family. Their mothers, grandmothers, sisters or aunts have never gone through it.
Of course people who HAVE had breast cancer in their family are at a higher risk.

One reason why I am interested in this is that I am also at a higher risk. My mothers mother had one of her breasts removed and she managed to beat the cancer. She is 70 today and looks magnificent.
The risk is especially high for those whose mother or sister has been diagnosed. There is also a possibility you have a special gene, with which there is a 84% risk of getting the cancer.

Christina spoke about making the decision. How it didn't seem so bad at all first, but how she broke down into tears at the doctors office. She said she made a whole series of photos of her breasts before having the final surgery. Just to remember every curve...every contour... of her lifelong best friends. And for a woman it really is no joke.

I am so fond of my body. It is mine. It is how I was born. It grew with me. Every memory, feeling, touch, has melted into it.
And I can't help but to think... would my boyfriend still want me? Would he find me sexy?
Would I still be woman enough?

Christina said that thanks to all the possibilities today, she is getting implants and the future doesn't look so bad anymore. But she also mentioned that she still cries every day at least once for the loss of her breasts.

Me, as a woman, felt that very strongly of course. And I admired her strength so much.

But then ...

women who had not been so lucky started talking. One woman had lost her sister to breast cancer. Through tears she reminded us that "breast cancer IS a serious thing".

I started realizing that losing a breast. Losing two breasts. That is nothing!
You are still alive, you still breathe, you can still enjoy life!
One woman had been fighting breast cancer for 6 years and now it had already gone to her lungs and to her brain. Oh, she looked so weak, so looked so tired. And her child was about 6 or 7.
Losing a breast. Losing two. Seeing your kid go to the first grade?
That's when I really broke down.

Seeing all these women sit in one room. Some recovering, some dealing with it right now. All so strong. All so admirable!

One woman said that when she was diagnosed, she got chemotherapy and she lost her hair. One of her breast was removed. And one night she felt this huge urge to cry. She put the water running in the bathroom so that nobody could hear her and she went to the bath, laid down on the bottom of the bathtub, naked, bald, ugly, and cried.
And suddenly her mother came in and said: don't cry, you are a woman, you can do it. You are still beautiful. And you can fight this.

And it was then, that she realized she didn't need her long silky hair, make up, her super woman image. She didn't need that. Because the real she got out and she was beautiful.
So for the women who have gone through breast cancer, it has also been a spiritual journey. And I totally understand it. Going through with it rearranges your priorities.

But listening to all of the sad stories. The women who have died at a young age. All those women. All of them. There are so many of them! Hearing their stories... it is horrible. It is unfair and I don't understand why the world is killing these young, delicate flowers who are meant to nurture and love their children. Instead they close their eyes for ever.

My loves, please do the checkups in the future, if you are too young right now.
Almost all of us know somebody who has had breast cancer, or who has died of it. :( We've heard the sad stories, we have felt the sadness.
And I don't want to feel it again.

That is all I wanted to say again. Just that it has been worrying me for a long time and I had to say it out loud.

With this post I would like to show my admiration to the amazing, strong women who have to deal with this problem in their life. Including my wonderful grandmother.
And to those who didn't have the strength to fight any longer.
If we could gather all the love your close ones feel for you, it could outshine all the stars in the universe.

For so many many many times. Countless really. Have I opened the door of my room and been sucked into the darkness like a homeless soul. My hair has become one with the fierce orange flames kissing my curtains. Black snakes have crawled over the lampshades to dance in unison with my weak hands.
How many times have I thought over and over and over again: what did I do wrong? Do I deserve all this? Why am I so unhappy? What is the meaning of life anyway. Does the world need me?
The snakes have become one with my arms, the blackness has made its home in my eyes.
I didn't wait for it to pass, it felt so me. My destiny, the way I am. When somebody asked about how my life has been, my answer would be quite negative.
Do you feel me?

Tonight I cleaned the kitchen. Washed the dishes, cleaned the counters. Threw garbage out.
I will talk myself into sleep soon.
I will wake up at 8 am. I will take a shower, pack my laptop and head to university.

When I open the door to my room I will see sun dying it yellow. Birds will sing behind the window, on the blossoming treetops.

I am breathing peacefully.
My hands are warm.

I feel inspired to live. To try new things. To do the things I like.
And I don't need anything anymore.
'Coz I've got it all.

I talked to a very very good friend about life and the way things happen and what they lead to. My friend said that his life has always been super, it keeps getting better and better and he doesn't know who to thank.
Listening to somebody saying something like that made me .... made me speechless really. I know for sure his heart has been broken in the past. Not only good things have happened to him. He didn't get to travel and live in the country he dreamed about. He has not passed all his exams in first tries. All the things that get most of people down. I'm sure they got him down too. But unlike most of the people, he didn't find them worthy to mention while discussing the bigger picture of his life.
He says that his life has been amazing. These negative things were nothing.
And I feel so much respect, I feel so emotional. That is a good person who says things like these. This is a truly pure heart.
I know, we all have still a lot to learn, but isn't it the most beautiful thing in the world to be thankful for the things that have made you smile? To set those things in front and almost erase the things which got you down. I'm not speaking about erasing the memories. Of course not. You need both - the good and the bad ones to grow as a person. But to be grateful for rather the good ones...
It may seem so simple. So very very simple. But for me it is an honor and joy to hear somebody talking about his life in that way. To say that you would wish you knew who to thank for your life.
I wish this was the kind of person I was. It gives me inspiration to know that people like that really exist.

Tonight I will go to sleep, knowing that I have all the things that I want. And I wish I could knew who to thank for them.

:) hugs my loved ones

Blind - Mega Bass

Napule � mille culure
Napule � mille paure napule
� a voce de' criature
Che saglie chianu chianu e
Tu sai ca nun si sulo.
Napule � nu sole amaro
Napule � addore 'e mare
Napule � 'na carta sporca
E nisciuno se ne importa e
Ognuno aspetta a' ciorta.
Napule � 'na cammenata
Inte viche miezo all'ato
Napule � tutto 'nu suonno
E 'a sape tutti o' munno ma
Nun sanno a verit�.
Napule � mille culure
(napule � mille paure)
Napule � 'nu sole amaro
(napule � addore e' mare)
Napule � 'na carta sporca
(e nisciuno se ne importa)
Napule � 'na camminata
(inte viche miezo all'ato)
Napule � tutto nu suonno
(e a' sape tutti o' munno)


Just as the song says: Napoli is a thousand colours, Napoli is a thousand fears.
This post is for the Napoli I know. The Napoli that is made of bitter sun and smell of sea.

I thought I'd share some pics I've taken during the last year.
Here we go.

We were buying food and suddenly P starts laughing and shows me that magazine. "Look at the cat!!"
I still laugh like crazy when I look at that pic. XD XD XD Oh boy, come back here from time to time and look at that cat, I swear you'll laugh just as hard as me.



Ok, this one was in Portugal, in a mall, on the toilet door. We really HAD to go to the toilet and then damn, we see this sign blablabla para limpeza blabla. But we notice other people still using the toilet, so P said: It clearly says - don't go to the toilet with a soda ("limps" in slang in Estonian). We started laughing so hard we almost wet out pants. XD



Me and my friend M, we had had a rough party the night before, so we had quite a hangover in the morning. We decided to go eat in Macdonalds. The whole time we felt like throwing up and we felt really down. So, I raise my eyes and see this:



Me and M were out eating (duh!) during Christmas holidays. I decided to take a pic of the menu. Crazy Estonians, look what they eat. Makes me wanna throw up, really.



So, me and P were in the school library. We start reading the titles of the books. Some of them had Russian titles so we mimicked the accent. When you see longer words in Russian then you kinda slow down and spell them. With this one it was hilarious.
Ljjjiiiiiiibbbeerrrrraaaalllljjiiiiiiisssszzzmmmmm
I don't know why but it totally cracked us up. Every time we see it in the library, we burst out laughing.


This particular book made us laugh because it seems as the title is Alan Bullock, Hitler and Stalin - Parallel lives. :D Who doesn't find comparing Alan Bullocks life to Hitler's interesting.



Ahahhahahah I asked P:
"Wtf, why do they have Star Wars in the school library?"
P: "BM, it's not Star Wars..."
XD XD XD


And finally something my sister left on the fridge for me. A short guidance to an afternoon bite.


Oh what the hell, if you're already here then check this out too. Our intention was to have a little cocktail in the evening.
I didn't count but we ended up drinking about 15 different kinds of alcoholic drinks. And yes, we drank all the bottles empty.


Ciao my sweethearts. :*