Blonde Mafia Ganja Island

The only reason why I wanted to post was that then the number of my posts in 2008 would be 69. It's by far a more beautiful number than 68.



Oh yeah, I'm going out of town for New Years. I'm goin' to P�rnu, the summer capital of Estonia. Oh the irony in that, as it's freezing cold.
I'll get so drunk I'll forget to raise the fork to my mouth, and let me tell you honey, that's something.

Btw, watch this. It's about 1min long and in the end you'll see my homeboy!


-


You Can't Hide From Yourself (Kid Massive Vocal Mix) - Paul Gardner feat. Peyton

I don't remember any of the horoscopes I read for 2008. I don't remember what were the things that were supposed to happen to me.
But I also don't remember my birthday and mobile number.
What I don't need a brain to remember is how horrible every year Christmas in my family is. I could write the funniest book about it (that is, IF i could either write or make it funny). I could probably write how my dad yells at everyone for moving the Christmas tree and ruining the floor, until the point he looks like he could hit you with an axe and then jump on your corpse and shout something about parquet floors and economical crises and growing prices. Or how I find my mother's cognac bottles in my underwear drawer, stuffed between my bras and tampons. Yes, MY underwear closet. Where is the logic? Hers is already full?
The only bundle of joy (except the younger dog, coz the older grew up with me and therefore adapted somewhat similar behavior, such as...sleeping whenever possible) is my little sister. She is really the rainbow in our cloudy sky. She tried to wake me up at 8 o'clock on Christmas morning so we could start making gingerbread cookies. My unconsciousness didn't stop her. She came back exactly 7 minutes later... and 17 ... and 18... I gave up around noon when she had already lost most of her voice. She still looked happy, eyes sparkling and corners of her mouth a lil' yoghurty. We made those cookies for 3 hours. That freakin icky gingerbread stuff never seemed to end. Meanwhile my mom popped into the kitchen to remind me how sons are so much better than daughters and how I manage to steal every bit of her holiday spirit.
Well, that really got ME into the mood. Not.
Then my sis gave me this book she had made by herself, although I think dad helped her glue it together. It was actually really thick, had pictures and text on every page and was alltogether the best present I have ever gotten.
Like on one page there's a picture of 2 ladybugs and one tells to the other: WER DID YOU LEV DE CAR
and then my sis explained that actually it was a joke coz neither of them needs a car because they have wings.
Seriously, I laughed so hard, I thought it was the best joke ever.
I'll leave the rest of the night untold. May those who witnessed it forget it soon.
Nah, it wasn't bad. I actually enjoyed myself. My bro came later on and we had some laughs. Especially when grandads hearing aid started doing this really pitched high iiiiiiiiii kinda sound and he himself didn't understand it. Or when I stepped on the balcony to get some fresh air and didn't put on any shoes and stepped into a pile of shit. I told my brother that if something smells like shit, it's me. Literally.

Now, on to better things.

...

There aren't any.
Back to the old crap.

The week before Christmas turned out to be a super nice one. I met some new people and that's all I'm gonna say.
*interplanetary melodies*

As for my exams. Well, they were.... something else. :D
First the law exam. We all went into this huge lecture room and we sat down... everyone were at the back ( I think there's moss already growin' on the seats in the first row), sitting as close to eachother as possible and the teacher came in and handed everybody the exam papers and then he went and sat infront of the class behind his desk. 30 seconds later we all hear grunching sounds from the speakers that are in every corner of the classroom. My eyes turn to the teacher. And he is opening candy under the desk. Where the microphones are.
The he understood he had been caught and a wide smile spread across his face like sunshine on a bluebirds egg in the early morning.
And I'm thinking... allright, that's the guy who I got all my knowledge on law from. Great.

German went super. I stepped in, the teacher looked at me with a tired, disgusted face. He folded his hands and spat: TUESDAY
Me: uf... is it?
He: in GERMAN
Me: *eh eh....eh.........* Dienstag.

...and so on. He made me translate, read, retell etc. Until he closed his eyes for a couple of seconds, then opened them and told me I had done super and he had underestimated me on the first half of the semester and he now understands what a person I am (I wonder what did he think before then???) and that I work very well during classes and on the whole he is so pleased he will give me the best possible mark.
He even wrote "excellent" in brackets! :)
I must say, I was very happy when I walked out of the school that day.

Today some of my relatives are going to hop in for a visit. I'm seriously thinking about mentioning I have AIDS or tubercolosis, so I could watch them sit a little farther away from me on the couch. Unfortunately neither AIDS or tubercolosis will stop them dissecting my personal life. I agree I could get more hobbies and attend more schools at one time and yes, it is anatomically possible I could have a child and I also know I could be a million things. But I am not. I am me. And frankly I'm quite happy about it.

In conclusion, what can I say about this years Christmas? As I didn't expect anything, it was super. We'll see what New Years Eve brings. You know, they say whatever you will be doing on the last day of the year, you will be doing it for the whole year.
So... *starts opening the bottles*

Ja t�pselt sel hetkel kui korstnal istuva ��kulli sitt j�udis vastu jahedat katusesiilu puutuda, lasi Arhilde kuuldavale haleda, vilina ja kohinaga sarnaneva, karjatuse.
Mingil soojumalatele teadmata p�hjustel (kuigi need t�prad teadsid t�en�oliselt k�ike. Jah, k�ike. Ka seda miks ketshup hakkab peale mikrolaineahjust v�lja v�tmist veidralt haisema ja kuhu kaovad alati k�ik rohelise triibuga sokid.) oli ta viimase n�dala, v�i vast ehk isegi paari, jooksul igal pealel�unal t�pipealt kell kuusteist null seitse voodist p�randale kukkunud. P�rand oleks siinkohal liiga h�sti �eldud, pigem �le voodi ��re, vastu murdunud parketinurka ja siis otse mullitavasse mudam�lkasse.
"No mida..." j�udis ta peale h�dist karjatust veel lisada enne kui ta v�idund peanupp muda alla vajus.
Ka ��kull t�usis korstnalt lendu, sest peldikusse ei j�� keegi kunagi liialt kauaks.



Eelmisel p�eval...

"Mism�ttes?" Nihil peaaegu, et s�lgas selle s�na, "Ma ei ole sellega kohe kindlasti mitte n�us!" j�tkas ta ja p��ras nii j�rsult �mber et k�ik peale ta enese kiivritaolise soengu suvatses toas asupaika vahetada.
"Mida?! V�hemalt aastaks?!" h��atas ta siis ja heitis s�nge pilgu �ue. Aknal olevas pelargooniumipotis kuivas muld �ra.
Poole minuti p�rast pani ta mobiiltelefoni tagasi p�uetaskusse ning hakkas m�tlikult k��si viilima.
Siis kostus siit-sealt kerget nabinat, m�ned niginad ja paar kolm ebam��rast nahh-ah-aa-d, ning seej�rel vajus tagumine sein kokku ja n�htavale ilmus lillas seelikus Dolores Dalle, k�es haamer ja linnumaja.
Nihil, kelle n�ole oli tulnud veidralt kaame pilk (mitte unustada, et ta tegi isegi p�evitunud olekus ka k�ige albiinomale albiinole silmad ette),lasi pilgul langeda tagasi viilile. Ta h��veldas armutult oma niigi perfektselt hooldatud k��si ja laskis samal ajal kuuldavale lakkamatu s�nadevoolu.
"Ma ei v�i seda kannata, see on mu loomuse vastane. Ma olen seltskonnainimene! Ma vajan... no taevas halasta, dush ei teeks paha! Ja siin ei ole isegi korralikku elektrit, kus ma f��nitama hakkan?!"
Dolly seisis ikka veel samal kohal, k�si linnumajaga �hus.
"Ja isegi kui siin oleks seltskond ja palju PALJU elektrit, siis miski ei muuda seda j�ledat kliimat!" ta pillas ahastunult viili. Viili otsale oli kleebitud s�tendav saialill.
"Ma pole ju �ldse halb! Miks mind niimoodi karistatakse? Kas see on karmav�lg? Kas ma peaksin v�lja uurima, kes ma eelmises elus olin? Peaksin ma mediteerima? Kas Surm v�ib mediteerida v�i peetakse seda ebas�ndsaks?!" ta hingeldas kergelt.
Dolorese linnumajast vaatas v�lja v�ga punnis silmadega kobras.

Arhilde h�ti juurest kostus n�rk "pip-pip-pip-piiip-piiip-piiiip" ja seej�rel �ks korralik "m�taki" ning sekundi p�rast ka:
"No mida pag-"

I loved you; even now I must confess,
Some embers of my love their fire retain;
But do not let it cause you more distress,
I do not want to sadden you again.
Hopeless and tonguetied, yet I loved you dearly
With pangs the jealous and the timid know;
So tenderly I love you, so sincerely,
I pray God grant another love you so.

A. Puskin

Ahhaha, my friend told me on MSN today:

Alice in WifiLand says:
ma tahaks t�lda, lossi, teenjaid, ilusat meest, ilusaid hobuseid, ilusaid mehi, pikka maani gooti kleiti ja natuke breezerit ja pasta carbonarat. Ma saadan j�uluvanale, ma loodan, et j�uluvana on ilus mees

translation:
i want a carriage, palace, servants, a handsome man, beautiful horses, handsome men, a long goth dress and a little bit Breezer and pasta carbonara. I'm gonna send (a letter) to Santa. I hope Santa is a handsome man.


XD

When we were kids, the road in front of our house, the street, it was all sand. Yellow sand.
When I went to buy ice cream with my brother from the local shop the sand went through my sandals and between my toes.
While walking I traced my hand over all the fences. They were dusty from all that sand and car pollution. My grandmother always told me not to do so. But I did. I traced my fingers over the fences until they were numb.

In the backyard we had trees. It looked like a little forest. Or a park. Park with pine trees.
And behind a chainlink fence there was a chicken yard. I used to find snails and push them through the little holes in the fence to feed the chickens. We had a lot of yellow snails.

And the memories that I have from my childhood, in that garden of ours, are all yellow. The sun was yellow, and my dress was yellow and the long bench we had and where I once sat on a bee and got stung right in my bum, was yellow too.

Yellow was my favourite colour, the colour of daffodils when they blossomed during my birthday in May. Yellow was my favourite colour until my brother told me that yellow is the colour of pee.

Then I moved on to green.
He couldn't ruin that one for me because somehow, sometime, somewhere, we had grown up and for some reason nobody asked you what your favourite colour was anymore...

Green is beautiful. But still, when I sleep, then suddenly the whole world is yellow again and I am standing under an apple tree, my brother is standing right next to me, and we both say: "apelsiiiiiiin" while our mother takes a picture of us.

apelsin* (orange)

i've got a feelin that i've known you all along
i've got a feelin that it wont be very long

u wont notice someone like me

One day we�re gonna live in Paris

I promise
I�m on it
When I�m bringing in the money
I promise
I�m on it
I�m gonna take you out to club showcase
We�re gonna live it up
I promise
Just hold on a little more

And every night we�ll watch the stars
They�ll be out for us
They�ll be out for us
And every night, the city lights
They�ll be out for us
They�ll be out for us

One day we�re gonna live in Paris
I promise
I�m on it
I�ll find you that french boy,
You�ll find me that french girl
I promise
I�m on it

So go and pack your bags
For the long haul
We�re gonna lose ourselves
I promise
This time it�s you and me forever more

And every night we�ll watch the stars
They�ll be out for us
They�ll be out for us
And every night, the city lights
They�ll be out for us
They�ll be out for us

Paris (Aeroplane Remix) - Friendly Fires

And one day, I promise, we're gonna live in Paris. I will show you how to stand so still you can feel the city change around you. And nobody wont even notice you.

I promise, I will show you how mysterious it feels to walk up from underground with a lot of people who seem to rise from the stone steps to the babyblue sky as soon as the metro stairs come to an end. Their faces hiding secrets that aren't really there.

I'll show you how no matter how elegant or swift your movements may be, you feel like a 10 000kg elephant with 6 six pairs of extra arms and legs, between all those hurrying, self confident, French people. Who may actually be a lot more clumsier, uglier or less intelligent than you, but who manage to cover it so perfectly up with their "excusez-moi" which will startle you whenever you least expect it.

I promise, some day, I will show you how... beyond words it feels to see the tower of Eiffel when you go around the corner and suddenly it's there, above you, like a monster from one of Spielbergs movies. And you are surprised by your emotional rollercoaster because it is nothing but a lot of metal.

I can not promise I will be bringing the money and we will go to Champs-�lys�es to shop through all the boutiques. No, because that is just not the kind of person I am.

What I can promise, is that we'll walk on the cold and beautiful yet somehow so warm and seasonal Champs-�lys�es and windowshop, while the citylights... the citylights are out for us.

I want to promise you also, that when we get to the end, I will hold your hand when you'll first see Arc de Triomphe. And I will watch the stars in the sky because they look completely different than those stars I saw where I grew up.

I promise, one day, I will find you that french girl, and you, you will find me that french boy.

I promise I will walk with you to the Seine. It will be a cloudy day. There will be wind. And you will still feel how warm is the breeze that moves the corners of your coat. And I promise you will feel you don't really need anything more in that life of yours.

I want to show you, one day, how meaningful is the waiter standing next to the counter at a small but expensive restaurant in Paris. The table napkin over his arm and his eyes looking blank into nowhere, without knowing he is it. He is what all the Vogues in the world are screaming about. He is that elegance, he is what everybody looks for in France, what those who are not of same nationality are jealous of. And the only thought in the clueless waiters head is about when he gets to go home.

I promise, I will always walk the streets alone in the afternoons, just breathing in centuries of art, fresh baguettes, used paintbrushes and old fast speaking french men with crinkled newspapers. Some day, I'm gonna take you there. Some day, I promise, we're gonna live in Paris.

Ma turtsatasin naerma, sest ma just plaanisin blogida ja siis lugesin WW blogist, et k6ik peax siia minu poste lugema, sest ma kirjutan "huvitavaid ja ilusaid asju".
No palun v�ga, enam ilusamaks ja huvitavamax ei l�he. XD

Mina ja seltskonnam�ngud

Reis �mber maailmas
nahhui mul ei vea
geimi kus ma v�itsin
�eldagi ei tea.
Kui on vaja �hte,
t�ring �tleb kuus,
iga roundi l�pus
riist on j�lle suus.
Tea kas s��di kaaslased
v�i et joomist alustasin aastaselt.
A pohhui
seni h�sti esineb veel maks
- waatab mis saab siis
kui pelatud ruletilaks.


H�lloweeni seiklused

K�es on j�lle halloween
ja klaasis loksub lauaviin.
Aastad l�inud,
�� on sama,
wanalinnas kusen kama.
Dj karjub
trick or treat
sevodnja nots
on russki beat.
Pidu higine ja r�ve
k�lge haakub paarkend t�be.
Kaasa j�lgub mingi Ints,
eitab et on tglt kits.
Warsti kaob ka t��tu homo,
kurat t��bil oli limu.
Viieks unustand kus korter,
s�brannat j�litab Reporter.
Takso asemel on faking batmobiil
koju viib meid hiirek�rvadega pedofiil.

I remember I once really secretly liked this guy who I had never even spoken to. And then one day I was sitting in the bus and drive past him while he was walking hand in hand with his girlfriend. I never knew he had one.
For a moment the world stopped. What I saw froze before my eyes and everything turned blue. The girls soft curls on her shoulders. His smile and worn out jeans. Everything.
All that I had inside of me was this deep pure real honest sadness. And it was beautiful.
I didn't want the moment to ever end.
It was the most beautiful thing there is in the whole world. It was perfect. You had real love on one side of the street and real sadness on the other and wet asphalt in between.
There weren't any ugly emotions or feelings like depression, anger, agony...nothing like that.
Just my sadness that painted the whole world beautiful. I wished to stay permanently blue for him. But I didn't. The next second the bus drove round the corner and everything was over. Then all the bad emotions which I mentioned earlier finally came.

--->><<---

I forgot to write before how last week when I was going to the library I sat in the bus and there was an older lady sitting next to me. She was about 50-60 years old and very elegant and lovely.
So there we sat and we both looked out of the window. And suddenly I noticed she was crying. But silently. And she didn't want anybody to see. She wiped the tears off very discreetly.
I thought that if she started crying harder, then I'd take her hand into mine.
And I looked down at her hands, one was over the another. And I noticed how very similar they were to my grandmothers hands. You know they say you can always tell the age of a woman by her hands. Anyway, they looked exactly like my grandmothers' and I just couldn't help it. I felt burning tears gather in my eyes.
So there we sat, me and her, both silently crying. Little salty tears running down our cheeks. My smooth and her wrinkled ones.
Then a woman came on the bus and stood right in front of us and I could see the surprise in her eyes. She probably thought me and the old lady were related and somebody we knew had died.
Soon we all went off the bus and that was it. I don't know why the old lady had cried.

I think that love makes us all permanently blue. And it is beautiful. Blue is the sky and blue is the sea and blue are my fathers eyes and the forget-me-nots.

I went to see Pineapple Express the other day. It was better than I expected. And I expected it to be really good.
I laughed many many times. The script was obviously very clever. I mean...they said things that I would say and usually people in films say all sorts of smart things. So it was interesting and surprising to watch.
I got some really good ideas too. Like this one scene they discussed the after life.
One guy had been shot twice in the internal organs section and he was almost going to give up pumping blood to the heart when this other guy run in.
Ok, so Red is talking how he is okay with dying in a couple of seconds...:


Red: Man, I'm just into Buddhism, and I'm at peace with the fact that me, as this person, probably gonna not be around. Think about a hermit crab, okay? And it's a shell. It's like, they go from one shell to the next. And that's what I am. I'm just a hermit crab changin' shells.

Ok, so this other guy, Dale, looks at Red lying next to the toilet seat, holding onto his bloody shirt and he starts persuading Red that it's worth a shot to continue living..:

Dale Denton: Except if you're a dick your whole life, your next shell will be made of shit, okay? If you're an asshole, you're gonna come back as a cockroach or a worm or a fuckin' anal bead, okay? If you're a man and you act heroic, you'll come back as an eagle. You'll come back as a dragon. You'll come back as Jude Law, okay? Which would you rather be?

Red (seems kinda interested): Maybe the anal bead, depending on who it belongs to.

Dale Denton: Belongs to me.

*silence*

Red: Then the dragon.




Like scenes like that one. Quick and simple but funny as hell. XD
Anyway, I recommend this movie-film, high five, vry nice!


Today was the football match between Eesti and Espanol. It was cool to watch little blonde kids go hand in hand with the little Spanish players. So cute.
I'd tell more about the game but I already discussed it with several people and I'm as dry as a lemon. Is there a saying like that in English? Who cares.
I've been making up sayings myself over the last days. You throw them in at random moments during conversations and then enjoy the confused looks on peoples faces.
Like how the fuck should I know what "better on tuesday than before rain" means.
Or...like I told P in the library today: Moses never salted his meat with Judas.

Ok so I listened to a lot of music today. Do you want me to recommend anything? No?
Well, listen to Kevin Saunderson -Rock To The Beat 2008 (Christian Smith & John Selway mix) then. Nice bassline and whatever.

I talked to my bro yesterday and he ordered the laptop I wanted, so I'll get it next week. I can start downloading tracks again. Yeahuuu, enough room at last. I'll kiss the hard-drive before using I swear.
Plus I'll dive into the mighty world of WOW (world of warcraft). Adios minesweeper.

The whole time I watched football tonight, my knee hurt. Like wtf, I wasn't the one playing. Or is my emotional intelligence so developed that I can feel other peoples pain? From now on I'll only watch porn and such. *grin*

Oh yeah, I'm writing a report on copyrights and I've got to tell ya, it's not goin' smooth. Plus I think I've broken about 15 copyright rules myself already.

Today at the library I was goin' up the stairs and suddenly I had a total panick attack. I felt as if I was going to fall down backwards 15 meters, hit my neck and die.
I couldn't breathe and I tried not to think about how high I was.
Lol...high.
Maybe next time I should go while bein' high.
High as a fucking kite.

I had a really unlucky morning. I had like 2 minutes to pick a necklace and I did, but when I was trying to open it, it broke. Then I grabbed another one, it got stuck in the curtains and broke. Then I sent some almighty persons to where the sun doesn't shine....and as a result the third necklace broke too. I didn't take the fourth one because I realized I shouldn't mess with fate.

Oh yea I bought pizza.
....and it's still downstairs on the couch next to the front door. I came home like 7 hours ago.
Shit.

Never mess with cats who don't eat liver.

Minus tasa haigutab valu loom
ja lakub teravaid kihvu
ta kaelal tukslev soon
on pikk sinnani kus l�peb koon
Ta magab ��sel mu jalgadel

Okay so yesterday I watched this movie called "Me And You And Everyone We Know" and it was really good. Exactly the kind of a movie I want to watch when I've got nothing better to do (read: study).

The whole cast was really good but I wanted to write about this little boy, played by Brandon Ratcliff, and he was incredebly cute. And smart, in his own childish cute way. Exactly the kind of son I would like to have.

In this movie he played a really good boy, you know in some movies children are whining annoying little midgets who kick you between your legs when you least expect it. And there was a scene where he looked at the rising sun with his dark raisin eyes. And suddenly I had this fear that he would die because the moment was somehow so perfect and he was so angelic.

And I begun thinking that if he would be my son, I would be so afraid he'd die, everytime the sun would rise.

In real life, the really really good people, the truly amazing ones, always die young. As if Dog or whoever wants to take them with him as quick as possible because the other people who somersault on the clouds are already kinda getting on his nerves.

It's a bit unfair to say that there are no remarkable and amazing old people. Yes there are. Only they have become remarkable and amazing at an older age, that's why Dog didn't take them earlier.

And then they go too. Go to toss aside false teeth and hip prostetics. They go to do somersaults on the clouds.

----<<>>----

I went to the doctors at the beginning of the week and she wrote antibiotics for me.
Not some regular 3-times a day tablets, but really strong antibiotics that I'm supposed to take only once a day. It appears the ear-aches and sore throat and running nose and cough that reminded of an old Cuban guy who had been smoking for 70 years, also caused an inflammation in my heart. Yaddayaddayaddayaddayaddayadda XD

The thing is that the first day I started taking the tablets...I went home and like..fell asleep on the bus. Like, totally, fell asleep. For some reason I was so tired. I kept seeing in my dream that random people on the bus talked to me. Each time I woke up and found myself in the usual silence that fills the buses in Estonia & I was worried if I had spoke out loud or something.

And then I went home, wiping drool from the corners of my mouth, and straight to bed, slept 5 hours and then went to sleep again. Woke up the next day and looked like a zombie. Plus extremely sleepy. Again!
It's horrible what they do to my body.
I feel worse now then I did before, but I hope that after the 1 week treatment I will get well and
feel great again for the first time in the past month.

--->><<---
I went to see Klaxons the other day. The concert was really great. It took place in a club.


(I dunno why the drummer isn't on the pic. But there is one in the band. My friend really likes him, says he's got some real' talent.)

I stood right in the middle, on a higher platform and I was like...5 meters from the band. They constantly kept looking straight into my eyes and it was actually quite embarrassing. Me and P danced like crazy and eventhough I don't listen to music like that, I tried to really feel it, live it and give my best, because of my friend and because of the band.

We also danced at the beginning, when the warm-up band, Popidiot, was on the stage, when everybody else were just standing. And it seems it was worth it because later, when the concert was over, me and P were making our way out of the crowd and voil�a the Popidiot singer went past us and P shouted: GREAT CONCERT

...and I turned and looked straight into the singers eyes and I saw this "AAAaaaa...." kinda look, he obviously recognised us. And he stopped us and asked if we wanted free CD's.
He run backstage and back quicker than rum hits the floor when I handle the cocktails.

http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a215/Briccy777/pop.jpg (Singer's the guy in the middle)

At the same time 2 little strawberry blonde girls asked me if I knew the singer because they would like to have cd's too. So I said, sure sure, just come with us. XD
And they both held my hand all the way to the stage, which was so cute.
When the guy came to us with a bunch of cds he asked if we had any friends and I showed him the little blondies & they were so happy! :)
Lovely lovely.


--->><<---
A couple of weeks ago I lost my credit card, although I'm not the kind of a person who loses things, it happens very rarely to me. Being without money was horrible. I don't usually deal with cash, I'm a 100% card person. And now I had to count fkn coins.

The "fun" part was when I called my dad at the end of the first week to ask if he had went to get the new card. And it appeared he didn't had time for it. Okay, great. I waited a couple of more days and then called him again, as he was the only person who could sign the documents in the bank etc, and asked him again. He still hadn't had time to go pick it up. So I told him that I had been starving for the past week. My dad was like: oh..okay...eee.....i'll bring you some money then..or something...
I decided to add a touch of sarcasm and said: No, don't worry, I can keep drinking water.
And can you imagine what my dad said?
"Oh! Okay...great....good...that's a good idea...Yes...So we'll keep in touch. Bye."
I was like: ...
Well...welcome to my world. My loving parents.

Now I finally have the card. I went to the local supermarket and bought peppermint gum. The saleswoman probably thought she had never seen a happier customer. My smile was wider than the Nile during flood.

--->><<---

Uni is very difficult and the lectures are boring.

I have many different lectures. For instance Management. When I went there last week I learned how to play advanced level Minesweeper. Yes, it's that boring.

I don't understand how these old men, these teachers, don't understand how stupid all this is. They don't give any papers, they don't write anything down or make anything clear. They just stand and mumble infront of the class.
I would LIKE to remember what they say, but it is impossible to write it down and when I later think about what they talked about - I don't know even ONE single thing. Because everything is connected and when you didn't get one sentence, you didn't get any of them.
Don't they WANT us to understand and remember? God damn give out some papers, let us fill in gaps! We would actually have to use our brains.

...and then it will be the exam day. And everyone will fail. And half of us go home and cut our veins.
I'm looking at the teachers and thinking: You are half a century older than me and you are STILL not smart enough to make us understand your subject. You stand there and whine, but you don't actually DO anything to make me understand. And I really want to. But you just stand there, lazy comfortable old man. And expect us all to be motivated and stuff.

My favourite sentence one teacher uses is: You haven't read that book? You don't know anything about this statement? WHY DID YOU CHOOSE THIS PROFESSION THEN?
Well ...umm....I chose it to LEARN ABOUT IT YOU FKN MORON!
But the truth is that we all sit silent and let him feel glorious and really witty. I'm sure he feels extremely smart. Well kiss my ass, he's wife's probably nagging at him every night.

And now, a little something me and P found during one of the super interesting Law lectures:

I have a problem because everytime I see you, you keep asking how I feel,
and I really don't want to tell you I feel like a vinegar eel.

I'm wondering if you ask because you really care,
or maybe you are just short on the bus fare?
Then say it, I don't need no vanity fair.

Or perhaps I am just so boring you've got nothing more to say,
it's not like all year round it's Valentine's Day.
You and me, we're just standing and holding a cafeteria tray.

I don't know, maybe you are trying to be friendly in case you'll need help with math
then I've got some news for you, for me it's an unknown path.

Or is it you're bored and got nothing better to do
and you don't want to ask me the capital of peru

Then I agree, asking how I feel is definately better,
maybe try also sending chain letters.

Just that sometimes I wonder why you ask nothing else
dont worry, you don't have to use present perfect tense.

Does it happen you get excited and forget everything you know,
that I was to an exhibition and my favourite artist is Renaud?

What I fear is that you are just being polite,
we won't be sitting together on a domestic flight.
Everything is black and white.

Next time you ask me how I feel,
no, I wont be hoping it's sex appeal.
I'll just think you're spinning a roulette wheel.


---------
while writing I listened to Sigur Ros - Gobbledigook
it's a beautiful song really.

"Ma tundsin sinust puudust."
"Mina tundsin sinust ka puudust. Ma olin aastaid haavatud."
Audrey langetas �rnalt klaverikaane. Mees t�mbas s�rmed �ra. Audrey neelatas kuuldavalt ja ta ilme muutus p�halikult t�siseks.
"Mina olen ikka veel haavatud, Louis," sosistas ta, h�benedes sellisest valust r��kidagi.
"Ma tean." Mees t�usis ja v�ttis Audrey embusse. Naine p�imis k�ed mehe piha �mber ja toetas pea ta �lale. Mees tundus soe ja pehme ning kindlust pakkuv. Siis tundis ta, kuidas mehe s�rmed t�mbasid n�elad ta juustest, nii et lokid p��sesid vabadusse ja langesid kosena �le selja. Louis surus need oma pihku ja hingas sisse naiselikku l�hna, mis nendes peitus, ning tundis juuste siidisust oma n�o vastas.
"Oh Audrey," �hkas ta. "Ma olen elanud viimase kaheteistk�mne aasta iga minuti selle hetke nimel. Ma olen taas elus."
"Miks sa mind ei oodanud?"
"Sest ma teadsin, et sellest ei tule midagi v�lja, ja ma ei suutnud taluda sinu l�heduses olemist, kui sa ei kuulu mulle."
"Aga Louis," vaidles Audrey vastu ja meenutas siis oma vestlust Cicelyga. Louis ei suutnud asjadega toime tulla, kui need viltu vedasid. Audrey t�mbus eemale ja vaatas mehele otsa. "Ma olen sind alati armastanud. Sa lahkusid koos osakesega minust, k�ige olulisema osaga minust, ilma sinuta polnud ma terviklik. Seej�rel Cecil...Cecil..."
"Ma tean. Cecil j�i kindlaks ja ustavaks, ta oli k�ike seda, mida mina oleksin pidanud olema. Ma l�ksin sinu juurest �ra, kui sa mind k�ige rohkem vajasid, ja ma kahetsen seda. Aga ma ei saa oma loomuse vastu. Ma saan seda vaid hiljem kahetseda."
"Nii et sa ei s��dista mind?"
"Ei, ma ei s��dista sind," vastas mees ja ta n�ole valgus lai naeratus. Audrey naeratas vastu ja puudutas �li�rnalt Louis' n�gu, nii nagu ema hellitab last, nii nagu naine hellitab armsamat. "Ma palun andeks."
"Sa saad andeks. Ma pole sinu peale kunagi vihane olnud." Audrey naeris ja p�imis k�ed taas ta �mber. "Ma olen nii �nnelik, et sa tagasi oled. Ma vajan sind nii v�ga. Mul on sulle nii palju r��kida."
"Tule homme minuga maale," pakkus mees. "Siin on nii l�mmatav."
"Mida me Cecilile �tleme?"
"Ta ei saa teada. Ta on t��l."
"Me peame selgitama, kus me oleme olnud."
"Miks? Te ju peaaegu et ei r��gigi omavahel. Tema eeldab lihtsalt, et sa olid koos ema v�i t�diga. Ilmselt ta isegi ei k�si."
"Ma m�tlen midagi v�lja," vastas naine heatujuliselt.
"Tore. Ma kohtasin Mehhikos �hte meest, kellel on linna l�hedal kariloomade rantso. Paari tunniga oleksime seal kohal."
"Kas teda v�ib usaldada?"
"Usalda mind, mu arm," lausus mees Audreyt �nnejoovastusega vaadates. Siis suudles ta naist. Louis' suu oli pehme ja Audrey vajus ta keha vastu, hoidis teda k�vasti, nii et nende s�damed tuksusid �hes taktis muusikaga nende hinges. See ei tundunud vale. Audrey oli abielus ja tema ustavus abikaasale oli olnud k�igutamatu. Aga Louis'ga koos tundus k�ik �ige.
"Kas Ceciliga on asjad kunagi �iged tundunud?" k�sis Louis ja Audrey vastas ausalt.
"See on alati tundunud kompromissina. Mina andsin talle oma k�e, aga mitte s�dame. Mu s�da on alati sinule kuulunud."
Louis suudles teda taas ja sulges silmad. Taas kord tantsisid nad Palermo munakivisillutisega t�navatel t�hti t�is tipitud tumesinise taeva all.

I was on the train today and some old guy sat behind me and ate garlic for forty minutes. I came home and I've been smelling like a vampire slayer for the rest of the evening.


I was on the bus the other day and I burst into laughter (it always happens when I'm alone and in a crowded place and everybody else is quiet). I remember how when M came back from her trip in August, then the first day we got together, we went to Harju Hill to sit and chat.
M gave me some beautiful stuff she had brought me (including a book "La Bella Figura", about what I intend to blog someday) and then she said: Damn, I really need a drink. And she took a vodka bottle out of her purse and chug-a-lugged it down pure. I did the same & admitted I can't feel the taste of vodka at all anymore, it's like...water. Seriously, it doesn't burn my throat or nothing like that.
We continued chatting and suddenly we see this guy about 200 metres from us, kneeling on a sloaping hillside and taking pictures of us.
I looked behind to see if there was anything interesting but no...only the wall of a house. So he really really was zooming on us!
We raised our tired eyes and looked at eachother. Then M said: who cares. And I nodded.
The creep continued taking pics and we continued passing the vodka. 2 blondes at midday, drinking pure vodka. What is there to photograph?!
Later M said that one day we'll probably find ourselves on someone's blog and everybody's commenting us.
When they guy left then I eyed him and said to myself - if he looks back then he was really here because of us...and guess what. Just before going down the stairs, he looked straight into my babyblues. There you go. I hope he got nice pics and I hope he knows how to photoshop. :)

It's -insert day of the week- and for no particular reason I thought I'd post a bit and then dye my nails raspberry sorbet. The nailcolour actually even smells like that, allthough my friend P told me it stinks like waterproof highlighter. Well, she has always this kind of negative-ironical attitude and I am stubborn so we make a perfect team and I still love Maybelline.

I found this weird little poem thing that i had wrote ages ago.

She told me she likes it when bassline almos hurts her ears through the plugs
She told me she likes it when her clothes are so small it feels like constant snugs

She told me she likes it when music makes the floor of her kitchen move
She told me she likes it when pure grass makes her body groove

She told me she likes it when her eyes become so blurry there's nothing she sees
She told me she likes it when she's no drunk she cant feel when she pees

She told me she likes it when she forgets everything and
She told me she likes it when its only her plus the band

She told me she likes it when its warm outside during the night
She told me she likes it when she doesnt have to ..but she might

She told me she likes it when its only her in the bed
She told me she likes it when with smoke she is fed

By the way, I went to my childhood friend mother's art exhibition opening the other day. It was called "1001" and what she basically did was embroid 1001 little pillows, each provided with a date and her initials.
They were really beautiful, I've seen her embroid some of them over the years and it was cool to remember seeing her choosing the pearls etc.
I liked the pillow which looked like a penis, and the one that had our former prime ministers' (Juhan Parts') picture on it.
I also stumbled on my relatives and I managed to whine how difficult uni is for me.

I'm studying international relations, so it means I have to sit for hours and hours in politics lectures and so on. The subject itself really interests me, but it also makes me realise how dumb I am. Especially while sitting in the library and trying to read 4 different books on administrative law and thinking what the shit administrative law means.

ps. If you want to listen to something beautiful, then try Scarlett Johanson "Anywhere I Lay My Head" :)

I talked to a boy who designed a watch for himself and I decided to do the same. In 30minutes I designed a watch that the poor designerboy will die making. :)


big version: http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a215/Briccy777/ByStella.jpg

kiss - kiss

"Shit," I said, "Why do things like that always happen to us?!!"

I tried to make it round the corner without looking into the eyes of the locals. Which, in fact, were quite hazy.
We went through the gates where (while our bags where searched) I said to L (without thinking, as usual): "I hope they wont find the weed.
The security guard obviously thought it was a joke because he laughed. That innocent soul.

When the guard took a first look into my bag he said "oookay" and he rolled his eyes. He closed my bad instantly. It makes me laugh when men get intimidated by girly things.
There was so much make up. XD
Nah, not THAT much, but still. 4 different lipsticks, some eyeshadows, glittering stuff etc. You wouldn't find a nuclear bomb between those things.

So we entered the festival grounds and... there were so little people. Only dwarfs. No, kidding.
I mean, there were like 50 people.
Thank god, by time more people came. We also pumped into a teacher we had back in elementary school. He made us laugh coz he was with his wife and about a 6 months old baby. We had always thought the teacher was gay!

Then we went and bought these skirts made of fake marijuana leaves XD and Kanye West's glasses, you know those prison break style ones. And some ciders.

The concert itself rocked. More people came by the time niggas hit the stage. Uff it was awsome.

Whenever Kingston spoke, then with one hand he did the rap move and with the other one he grabbed his manly parts. Me and L wondered if Kingston has some special cremes to prevent his jewels from getting red and swollen.

Actually what astonished us the most were the backup singers. There were about 7 or 8 niggas on stage, which is great for an estonian person because in Tallinn we have about 3 black people and everyone knows their names. XD

Suddenly one of the backup singers started to sing slow a'capella
"...like a lollipop...lick me like a lollipop"
and it was fucking amazing! His voice was superb. I am in love with lil' Wayne and his voice, but this guy made the song totally his own (without taking it from Weezy).

ps. I just noticed that I'm wearing my socks backwards. %-)

After the concert me and L headed back to our apartment. I cooked while L cleaned and soon (thanks to our super good teamwork) we were laying on our huge bed with food, cocktails and weed. Reggae was playing ( "red red wine.....") and we just laughed and enjoyed the moment. It was a total relax, honestly, how beautiful can life be!

When I'm with L then I am very relaxed. Plus I don't have any bad thoughts in my mind. No sadness or anything like that. Because we are always high and whatever the other one says, it sounds freaking funny. Ahaha, even thinking about it makes me laugh. We lay there, inside our huge marijuana skirts and we said to each other:

deeeeeeeeem
*silence*
dayuuuuuum
*slience*
deyeeeeeeeeeeeeem
*silence*
daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamnnnnnn

like, I don't know, 25 times each. And we covered everything we wanted to say with that. You know...just...dayuuuuuuum. And L says: yeaaaaa...DAYUUUUUM.

Then we tried on 15 different skirts and 20 shirts, plus 10 different pairs of heels and finally we were ready to go out. We decided to call a cab because it's no fun to walk in 12cm heels.

The cab took us infront of the Sunset club and woah, the line was sooooo long.
We usually have club member cards to every single club at sight, but this wasn't our town so the only thing we had were deep cleavages and long eyelashes, so a couple of boys said: "ouuuuu come with us." And we went with them & didn't actually exchange any kind of words and as we ignored them (we honestly just forgot about them - it's so me & L style), in 2 minutes they were gone. But we weren't at the end of the line anymore. I don't remember much about standing there, it went so fast, at least that's what it felt like.

The club itself is fucking awsome. It has many many floors, different styles of music, more than 4 balconies, terrace on the first ground, and a huge open beach.

Super!

We went back home at 5 in the morning, after sitting on the beach. We decided to go by ourselves, without a taxi.
Oh boy.
I'll get back to it someday coz it needs a longer description. XD

Right now I'm gonna copy a msn convo I had 5 minutes ago.

Pb �tleb:
i'm waitin the delivery boy.I'm gonna eat "Feggaropita me kotompeikon"
Blonde-Mafia �tleb:
you are the only person who can make me want to eat weird shit with even weirder names.
Blonde-Mafia �tleb:
now i really want feggraipoa me kotmopeikonko
Pb �tleb:
hahahahahahahahahaha
Blonde-Mafia �tleb:
what, i made a spelling mistake?
Pb �tleb:
i could almost hear you sayin it wrong
Blonde-Mafia �tleb:
i cant go to a restaurant in greece
Blonde-Mafia �tleb:
people will die of laughter and i will die of hunger
Blonde-Mafia �tleb:
please one of that thing that starts with a P and ends with a S and that has shitloads of vocals in the middle, okay?
Stella �tleb:
with fries
Stella �tleb:
skip the juice, i cant spell "apple" anyway

I'm usually too lazy to copy-paste msn convos, plus I think they are funnier on msn, plus they're a bit personal, BUT tonight I decided to make an exeption, coz ...why not? :D Besides WW tells me all the time I should blog my convos. Well, here are some that I found on my laptop, I saved them coz they were weird.

Mad Lip Gloss says:
�ks asi on squishy...mis t2hendab squishy?
.a? Opium Milkshake //Touch My Cookie! says:
sihuke...noh squishy ongi
Mad Lip Gloss says:
XD
Mad Lip Gloss says:
okei ma saan aru tglt
.a? Opium Milkshake //Touch My Cookie! says:
selline pehma ja limane nagu aga ta ei ole limane...nagu see tatt mida lastele m��akse mis seina k�lge j��b kui visata...igaste satikate kujulised
Mad Lip Gloss says:
XD
.a? Opium Milkshake //Touch My Cookie! says:
xD
Mad Lip Gloss says:
Igastahes, see s6na oli squishy sex Mad Lip Gloss says:
nyyd ma siis tean et see on nagu purgis tatt mida seinale visataxe ja mis on "igaste satikate kujuline"

Basically, I was talking to a friend from school and I asked him for a translation for the word "squishy". He explained that squishy is something that's soft and slimy, but not so much slimey, more like those icky things in cans they sell for kids, that you can throw against the wall and they stick, they have them in "all kinds of insect shapes" and stuff. And then I said: Okay, the word was squishy sex and now I know it's like slime in a can, that looks like "all kinds of small insects" and is soft and slimey.

XD

Okay, this one is like a million years old. Not all friendships have had a good start...:

...

B-M says:
and where exactly did you notice that negative attitude?
PB says:
just a few lines before,you said that I have a BAD personality
B-M says:
oh, I'm sorry, I meant awful
PB says:
wow you're so kind
B-M says:
that's one of the main qualities of northern europeans
PB says:
that's why you're so ??�p?e????? ?a? ?a???a?e? (complex and hot as hell) B-M says:
And that's why you are so hiiresitav�rvi juustega v�ike pasahunnik (little shitpile with mouse-colour hair)
PB says:
Really???a st?? ????da ?a? ?a s?? ???? t?? p?t? t???e? (Come to Greece and we're gonna feel it deeeeeeeeeep.)
B-M says:
Yep, absolutely. Mine vaata su koer s�i k�ik su plaadid �ra, paras sitap�ks. (Go look, your dog ate all your vinyls, shitpants)
PB says:
Glad to hear.?? ???? p?? e?ste ?e??????e? a??? �?? ?????? ?a ?a�?s? ?a? t?? f??e? s??. (You're all hot but don't worry your friend should be gorgeous too.)
B-M says:
I think so too. Vaata et sa attakki ei saa kuradi konn. (Be careful not to get a stroke, fucking frog) PB says:
?e? pe????e? ?a? a???? ?a ????t??e?? e?? ?a se ?a�?s? ?ts? ?? a?????. (I'll fuck you anyway.)
B-M says:
Sure. Kuule millal sa vait j��d mul on kopp ees. (When are you going to shut up, I've had enough)
PB says:
???ta �p??e? ?a �?? ???? t? ?e? a??? t?? p??ts? de? t?? ???t??e??.Ta se s??s?,a? ? �??a s?? e??a? ?a?? f??t?? ??'a?t?? ?a sa? ?a�?s? ?????e??a??? ?ts? ??'a????? ?a? a?t? p??t??a ?a e??a?.Don't you think? (I don't really understand what you say but don't fuck with me cause If you do I'm gonna fuck you.)
B-M says:
I think my eyes hurt. Kirjasta see romaan, saad poes edaspidi lausa maksta, ei pea enam varastama. (Publish a novel of your convo, earn money, so you wouldn't have to steal in shops anymore.)
PB says:
What could possibly cure your beatiful eyes????a pa?ap????sa? a??? e?? st? e??a pe?,T? S?? G???SO ?? ??????? (Stop complaining bitch, you're fuckin me up.)
B-M says:
Send me that song, sa glam��dias suuka (...you slut with a venereal disease.)

Share the love between different nations, right? :D Anyway, I just talked to him again and...:

PB �tleb:
...and i DO NOT consider you as a bitch
B-M �tleb:
i dont consider you a...how was it..."shitpants" or a "fucking frog" either :D

...so all is good that ends good. :D

Back in the times when I was young and stupid (no pun intended) estonian girls got a lot of attention from turkish men. They got our msn addresses from some kind of internet sites (no porn, k!) and every other day you were forced to see some gelatin-head invite you to Alanya. We, me and my friends, had a lot of fun on them but it also happened that every now and then some of them actually joked back:

se says:
can u send me a beautifus photo_?
se says:
beautiful
Blonde-Mafia says:
sswhat sskind ofs photosss?
se says:
photoss you can sendsss_?
se says:
photoss you can sendsss
Blonde-Mafia says:
ssswhat photoss?
se says:
your photoss,
Blonde-Mafia says:
ahahahahasssssss
se says:
ahssahh


Then again...there were those who didn't dig what I was laying AT ALL:

??T????T says:
heyy
BM says:
kenem! hey!
??T????T says:
KENAN
??T????T says:
whats going on there?
BM says:
where?
??T????T says:
there where you are
BM says:
where am I?
??T????T says:
at home?
BM says:
where?
??T????T says:
dont do this again , please
BM says:
what?
??T????T says:
are you stupid ?
BM says:
why???
??T????T says:
why do you always ask me these stupid questions?
BM says:
when???
??T????T says:
forget it
BM says:
...why
??T????T says:
offf
BM says:
kemam...
??T????T says:
f.......
??T????T says:
you drive me crazy
??T????T says:
if you wont give up to do this
??T????T says:
I wont talk you
??T????T says:
can you understand?
BM says:
...what?
??T????T says:
offf
BM says:
what kemam?????
??T????T says:
dont talk
BM says:
what?
??T????T says:
ogfff
??T????T says:
asfsdgdfhgs
??T????T says:
dfhdfnhs
BM says:
what?
you always say what why when
BM says:
why you think so?
??T????T says:
byee
BM says:
what?????
??T????T says:
f...k
BM says:
KENAM
??T????T says:
KENAN
??T????T says:
always i can pley
??T????T says:
play
??T????T says:
and do you always play sxo
??T????T says:
saxo
BM says:
saxofon?
BM says:
you play with a saxofon?
??T????T says:
suck my..........
BM says:
...saxofon?
??T????T says:
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Weather forecast said it would be a super warm weekend.
Today is saturday, I woke up to see the rain rape my windows in s&m style. Plus, I went to get the newspapers from my mailbox and my underwear is still soaking wet.
It isn't even very warm or anything like that, only 17,6 C.

The only real summerfeeling I had was in July.

Me and L decided to pack our bags and head to P�rnu (the summer capital of Estonia. Yea for some reason every city in Estonia has a special name. I don't know why it's needed, it's fucking idiotical. Maybe they feel more special then?) because Sean Kingston was going to perform there. Originally my friend P was supposed to join us but when I sent her a sms the night before asking: Talk to me homie
then she called back saying she's a bit ill and too tired. Yeah we went to several festivals and concerts with her during the last weeks so I understood her. But I was strong and ready to carry on with selfdestruction so me and L hopped in the car on one sunny friday afternoon and we started driving towards P�rnu.

The plan was to start driving early enough so we could get to P�rnu just in time to listen to some music, chill in L's apartment there, eat....drink Blue Lagoon and in the evening go to our lil' niggas concert. We listened to Sean Kingston in the car for I don't know...4 minutes and then we smoothly went to first reggae, then house. Kingston for us is sooooooo 2007 when we were 18 and the summer was hot. Beauuuuutiful girls. :)

That didn't mean the concert wasn't gonna rock!

And let me tell you, the weather was SUPER! It was 27c and more in the sun.
We stopped on the road for some italian salad, sandwiches, cakes, cookies, chocolate, potatochips, roastbeef... We were almost constantly eating anyway, the stop was meant for streching our legs while eating (yes, nevertheless we sat the whole time).

I mentioned packing bags earlier. Well...we did pack some. Some 7 suitcases each maybe. We wanted to get going early, but it happened that we slept in again and started packing 30 minutes before going out. I remember standing in my corridor, looking in to the mirror and seeing myself standing in a sea of these HUGE bags. I didn't have time to think through what I was going to wear in P�rnu although it was going to be just one-two days there so I basically packed everything that got into my sight. First all my sleeping things, blankets and pillows, then my clothes, creams, hairdryers, 5 pairs of shoes. Food, money, weed.

L called me, I heard some *schrumchhh-schrumchhh* sounds, then L glamorously coughing and then: Hey, can you take the waterpipe?
XD

Anyway, when she finally got to my parking lot and we had stuffed everything in to the car (5 times up the stairs, 5 times down the stairs)... uff we couldn't believe our eyes - everything fit! Even with the mop handle sticking out from the trunk. L had forethoughtfully taken the mop so we could clean the floors at the apartment. We're still women for crying out loud, I can wash dishes with 5 inch nails if I have to.

Yeah...well....me...I of course packed all my speakers and my laptop too. How can I leave home without them? What is a pre-party night without good music? We made a promise to ourselves that we would check out the local disco-club "Sunset".

I've never pretend to be McLaren or been good with maps but at times of crisis (L yelling: OHMYGOD I DIDNT SEE THE SIGN, IS IT LEFT OR RIGHT?) I can pretend I know which way to hold that piece of paper.

Ah, it was so easy for us, we totally rocked that map, plus later it really helped me that I remembered some of the streets.

We got to the apartment which was in Pardi (Duck) street. At first it made me laugh but I soon realized there can be even weirder street names when it comes to P�rnu.

The house itself was beauuuuuutiful, very modern. But so were the walls. Everything could be heard through them. EVERYTHING. Not to mention reggae on max bass. And the neighbourhood was dead quiet. Not even a sound! I'm being honest here...can you picture it...a city that is totally quiet. I thought I was alone on the street, it was so quiet my ears hurt....and then I saw a family of 4 putting their stuff into a car and then driving off, in COMPLETE silence. Even the car didn't make a sound. It was really relaxing but at the same time it was so scary!

We didn't have ANY time. The concert was about to begin in 1 hour and we didn't have a clue where we were or where the concert place exactly was. We did have time to make some cocktails though. So there we were, in the middle of this little street in P�rnu, the air was so hot the ground stuck to my flipflops like strawberry bubblegum between your passport. We were wearing miniskirts and holding these see-through plastic cups with fierce electric-blue drinks. I turned to L and asked: come on, what if somebody sees and asks what we are drinking and if it's alcohol?
L answered, giggling: it's carrot juice, can't you see!

I burst into laughter as I looked at the blue carrotjuice and half of the drink went on my legs. L saw it and burst into laughter too. Also on every curve we had to take, we both spilled more "juice" on us. Plus the blue lines on our feet were sticky and everything got stuck to them.

Pretend you're wearing pantyhose!

We carried on drinking and laughing, not caring ONE BIT about the time and suddenly...! There we were! At the concert gates.
L was holding a mint-cigarette, trying to find a place where to put it out. She did it on a huge white house.
"The City Government Of P�rnu," I read out loud.


XD




(will be continued...)

could you imagine feelin' all calm then all of the sudden your fingers get numb?
feet start freezin', what is the season?
where we at? and why we leaving?

It was my mantra for 2 weeks until finally my hair touched the pillow and when I woke up I was sick at last!
I kept pushing the fever back but at one point I broke.

So now I've been sick for a week & feeling great! :D I'm still a bit wo-waa-wuuu, but it's getting better and better. Also I know I can't take it easy'n'breezy from now on & think about my health coz M is back in town! And with her all the crazy things I do, are a bit crazier.

Oh...what a summer it has been! Mamma mia!

Maybe during winter I will take a closer look on it but right now I think it's better to let some things rest in peace...hidden from the daylight. XD

I used to think everything had to happen with a booom BOOM BANG, but now I've understood you can have the time of your life by just laying on your white bedroom carpet at 3 am, speakers all around on the floor. Soft chillout house is on, your head is on one of the big red pillows you took from your couch, you're smoking and watching your cigarette tracing a ladder . No Parisian demands, no nothing. You're feeling awsome.

Your friend is right next to you, no words are spoken. Hours go pass. Night passes. No fears, no sad feelings, no bad emotions, just this overwhelming happiness and peace of being able to breathe and share the moment with somebody. Things are always a million times better when you get to share them.

Then you sleep all morning, almost all day and wake up at four in the afternoon, just to sit into the car, put on reggae music, squint in the sunshine, and sing out loud "Love is my religion" until you see the Hesburger sign and sink into a huge double meal.

The breaking point where I finally got sick, happened after a little conflict with a russian and a loaf of sliced bread. Wanna hear more?

Okay, picture...4 am in the morning...it's getting lighter...in the middle of the city...a bus stop.

Hey, lets sit!

Okay, when's the first bus gonna come?

Oh in...ermm...15 minutes.

Okay, cool. So we sat down and I noticed a nice loaf of bread on the bench. One minute later a russian boy sits next to me.

I tell him: don't sit on the bread.

He tells me: %&()=%##% suka

Me: don't sit on estonian bread, it's our national food.

*He is quiet*

Me: understand? Hljeb (russian for bread)!

L: kuusat (russian for eat) hljeb!

Me: peen (a sort of bread) hljeb!

Me & L shout various things in russian, all something to do with the bread.

*Russian boy takes the bread, swings it, and throws it to the wall where it slides down*

Me with a happy tone in my voice: FLYING HLJEB!

Russian boy: *tries to hide his smile*

As you can imagine, we had a lot of fun, BUT we were also super cold. The reason why were sitting there is...well it goes back a long way. Want to hear it?

It all started when L gave me 3 cocktail books for my birthday in May. So, from time to time we discussed making cocktails by the recipes written in the mighty book. One day she decided to try some of them and got hooked on a specific blue one called Blue Lagoon. She made it alone at home, she made it with me. We loved it.
Now we came to an agreement we should and even MUST try out some more cocktails.
It looked something like that:

(picture to be soon added)

Yeah, it was whole lotta fun, I'm telling you. Especially the part when I didn't feel my legs anymore and I continued talking to L's chair when she had gone to the toilet.
I decided to make pizza. After I had put frozen vegetables back to the fridge, I finally managed to put the pizza in to the microwave.
I swear, I don't remember who ate it because the next day the only trace of it was ketchup on the kitchen window.
At some point somebody called a taxi and while I was carefully examining the backseats, my friend probably told the driver where we wanted to go. I remember looking out of the window thinking: "I have never been in here. Oh shit, I'm scared, I haven't got a clue where I am."

Fortunately L was there and handled the bill (which reminds me I should give her some money ((don't you just love brackets inside brackets inside brackets) - I like the way we share our money and whoever is closer to a wallet, pays, no matter WHOSE wallet it happens to be) but actually she acidentally made closer contact with my waterpipe who probably wanted to whisper nasty things to her(that seducing bastard!) and it fell on the ground and went into thousands of little pieces(yes the only reason why I added brackets here was to make things even more weird)).

So fortunately L was there for me & I was there for her when she tried 5 times to go up from the club stairs.
On the club door we met 3 boys from school (that I graduated *snoopy dance*) and we kinda went in all together which was weird because we've never spoken much and if I remember correctly one of them asked us: "Little mice, what are you doing here??"
XD pffft XD These sweet little mice are drunk to their tails, I'm telling you.
Anyway, lotsa stuff happened that night that I'm not gonna write down right now
balblabla

...until it was time to go home. We called a cab infront of a shop called: Childrens World (ha ha XD) and we were ALMOST at home when I noticed my keys were gone! Shiet! We told the driver to go to L's place, where nobody was at home, BUT his grandfather who kindly opened the door for us at 5 in the morning. We had to phone L's mother at first too & I swear, everyone where so nice with us, even the taxidriver AND it was 5 am! Me and L always tell each other it's blonde luck!

It still makes me laugh when I think how we were completely wasted and L's mom called to ask if everything was okay and then L had this "oh mom i'm totally sober and responsible for all my actions" kind of voice. XD It reminded so much of myself, how I try to speak extra nicely when I'm actually so drunk I don't remember my name. My voice could probably melt ice cream. It's was exactly the same with L.
"Yes :) mom :) Oh Yes :) everything is super :) Yes, :) I will :) do it :) tomorrow :) yes :) yes :)) no! :) yes i will go to sleep now :) :) bye :):):):):)" professionally ignoring the fact that for some reason mamas little girl was out on the city at 5 and too drunk to remember where the keys were.

Not to mention the way we looked. XD I probably looked something like a bottle of Martini trying to wear a 1x1 cm skirt around tooooo glittering thighs and L's appearance looked somewhat like a half empty bottle of Vodka with mascara and tons of pink eyeshadow.
It goes like this - with every shot you pour down your throat, you add an extra layer of eyeshadow. What was the amount I just used? Tons? Well...yeah. *grin*

"Hey :D grandpa :D can i please :D have the keys :) to my apartment please :D "

XDXDXD god bless grandparents

So there we were, it was getting lighter outside, and we didn't have the keys to my apartment where alongside my stuff was also L's stuff and her car keys. She had stayed at my apartment for....uh...god knows how long. We didn't see any reasonable ...reason why not to live together as we ate, slept and partied together all the time anyway.
I called the taxi company many many times with L's phone coz my own was at home (another things that shows HOW drunk I was because I never leave anything behind. As people usually come to my place to go out, I am the one who has to think of locking the doors and making sure all the windows are closed and nothing will go on fire etc. so I'm very careful, my brain is always working. Except for this time...) and they said that they have no information and I should call during daytime again.
Me and L (ignoring the painful headaches) called another cab and drove back to the club. This time we were wearing black jackets and sweaters with hoods. We also changed from high heels to flip flops.
It was funny how no one at the club recognised us. We saw many of the people we had talked to or danced with earlier and they just looked at us with blank eyes. You'd never imagine a pair of flip-flops could do that. But the feeling itself was even liberating.
We searched the whole club, panically trying to remember where we had went during the night (yes, we even went to the mens toilet at one point), but we didn't find the keys. We called a cab and drove back home. (This reminds me how the next day I asked L how much I owed her for last night and she started giggling and said: we drove with the taxi for 5 times. XD ) I told the driver what had happened to me and I said that the only thing I remember was that the drivers name had been Thomas ( or as L remembered: Toomas) and I added: Like..come on, how many Thomases can there be??
So now this driver was silent for a moment and then said slowly: Well...there are some. It's quite hard to track him down...Well...I'm for instance, Toomas too.
ahahahahaha me and L just looked at each other and tried not to laugh ahahahaha, she pressed my hand so hard it went numb for 20 minutes.

---
We went to bed at 7am and woke up at 1pm. I called my bro and (praise the lords) he came to L's place, picked us up and took us to my place and gave me his keys. He didn't ask anything. I'm sure he was startled because of the way we looked.
Maaaan, it was good to be at home. We made pizza during the first second. :D

It wasn't until then when I first saw that somebody had called me 8 times at 5am ! EIGHT TIMES!
We discussed it and I was super sure it must've been the taxi driver into whose car I had lost my keys. Can you believe it, he took the trouble to call me eight times!
I knew he was probably sleeping at daytime so I didn't call him back.
He called me again at 8pm and told me that he remembered me very well and he will drive to my place and give me my keys. I was gobsmacked! How super nice of him!
He asked me how long I was going to stay up and I said until 6am. He was surprised: 6 am ??
He begun laughing and he said he would come by sometime. And he did. At 1am he drove to my place and gave me my keys. He was very serious. Until I smiled the biggest smile that I could possibly smile. His whole face lit up too. :)
It's good to know that there are nice people in the world.

So these were 10 hours of my short but quite weird and crazy life. :)
I had pretty intense 2 weeks but as you can see, it takes shitloads of time and paper (or screenspace) to write everything down. If you long for more, then just let me know so I could send you to hell politely. :D
Ciao :)

When I look out of the window I can see the treetops poured with warm summer evening sun. The sky is babyblue. Little white clouds which look like steamy wild horses galopping through a river slowly float above the fresh green grass.
Where am I? What the hell is going on?
My bare feet touch the wooden floor. There's sand under the cold gray TV.
And I don't feel my body at all. It's not me who is sitting here. And now I know.
I know that I am not meant to be here. I did not get the point of this all. It may be a test, like those I take at driving school. Put a "+" if the sentence is correct and "-" if it's not.

Love is your religion +


Let me pack my things.
What would I put into the suitcase?
Absolutely nothing.
I'd stand naked on the gate. I'd close my eyes. I'd fly.
I'd fly...

Tonight I wanted to blog about latvians.
I realized that writing everything down from the first second until the last doesn't suit for me because in that case I never finish. I've got too much to say about everything. If it would be a worthy material then sure, I could write forever, but right now I'm either too young or just too bad in english grammar and I end up writing short weird pointless sentences that get your mind wandering about what's in the fridge or even worse: what isn't in the fridge.
So this time I'll try to write about my thoughts in quite a random order and the timeline may be a bit wonky but at least it's there.
Wonky reminded me of Willy Wonka. Damn that dude had a lot of chocolate. I wouldn't mind having a personal chocolate fountain.
Eee...what was I saying?
It happens to me in real life too, all the time. Actually every time I speak. I start by talking about something and then finish the sentence 15minutes later when I can't really recall what I wanted to say in the first place. That is the reason why I can't blog properly too.

So, blah...
Yesterday was sunday. And like any other sunday, I didn't have nice little puffy yellow pancakes with fresh blueberry jam. Unlike anyother sunday, I went to Latvia instead. To hear Metallica play live. It was my second time to see them so I was more excited than in the first time but yet at the same time not gonna be frustrated if I wouldn't make it to the front frow.
I remember the first time I went to Latvia just to chill with a friend MR (too many friends whose names start with a M, Im tellin ya) was a few years ago and we went on the 31. of december. Yeah, for New Years celebrations. And then I thought that Latvia compared to Estonia had horrrrrible looking people. They were polite and everything but looked soooo...25 years behind Estonia. I remember coming home and saying: I used to think that everywhere is better to live than in Estonia, now I know that Latvia would be worse.

The next time I went there was last year in september when I went to see Tarkan. Then I noticed that some latvian boys looked pretty normal but the girls were more than awful. I did not see any blondes during those 3 days I stayed there. I was shocked. Baltic state and no blondes! Horrible.

This summer I went to Latvia again because of the house music festival. During the first minute in the city I noticed about 5 blonde girls, lots of stylish clothes, beautiful boys. The sun was shining, the city looked okay. I was shocked again! What had happened? Did the queer eye for the straight guy or some other stylists group ride pass the city? These people were wearing normal clothes for gods sake! No miniskirts with 15cm heels and shitbrown fake addidas jackets!
On the downside, in one year everybody had seemed to forgotten english. Like seriously, they didn't understand or they didn't want to understand a single word in english.

Yesterday I was in Latvia again. People were still looking normal. :D
And damn, with the last 2 times...I've begun to love latvian people. I'm telling everyone: Go to Latvia, they are great!
There are a lot of jokes about latvians and estonians. They call us slow. At least that's what I've heard. I don't even know what we call them. Fast? LOL
But that's the thing with 2 countries that share a border. They act like rivals.
But seriously, I hate stereotypes and I managed to destroy one for myself. I know now that Me, Myself and I love latvian people.
When I was at the knockoutfestival then every single person was normal and minded their own business. Minded their own business like estonians. But also friendly. Friendly like latvians.
When I looked somebody in the eye, then that person smiled to me. A lot of guys wanted to chat. And nothing idiotical. No "nice eyes, sex tonight?" italian kinda stuff, and no "oh lets be really ironical and funny and supercool" kinda stuff like in Estonia. No, absolutely normal chats about music and lifestyle and hobbies and stuff like that. And many people want to help you. They are very open-hearted. Also...so many boys look absolutely beautiful. They have this kind of a mediterranian look that mixes with an european look. They look sexy but not cheesy. They look serious & that's what women all over the world like about european guys. This serious...I'm working, pls, k?! -look. But they're also cool ....you know- chill. Normal boys.

But at the knockoutfestival NOBODY spoke english, they were either scared when I said something in english, or they talked in reeeeeeaaaallly looooong seeeentenceees in russian. Which I couldn't understand at all. My russian skills let me curse in 40 different ways and ask for pancakes with mushrooms (which I'm not really eager to try).
At Metallica, on the other hand, everybody suddenly spoke english. We asked for some instructions to get to Stockmann, in the middle of the night, and everybody was like: English? Sure!!
I don't know...maybe James (Metallica singer) inspired people with his "You guys are fucking awsome!!" to get on the english-tune. But it was great! People smiled AND spoke in a language that I understood!
Now I'm feeling that...in Estonia I may die before a boy gets enough courage to say something during daytime while sober... in sunny countries boys may only think of me as a stupid blonde sextoy, BUT I can always go to Latvia and in the first 10 minutes in front of any random Macdonalds (actually I believe they actually have only one...or two) I can have the most interesting and funny conversation with a really goodlooking, quite polite, and perfectly normal boy!
I do love latvians.

What I don't like so much is the city. My friend keeps saying it's ugly, but I don't agree with her. It's not ugly. I think the whole city looks pretty nice. But...yeah...they don't have this beautiful little ancient..medieval old town...with the REAL old cobblestone pavement and little houses and stuff. Their old town is too fake. Newly built. Not cozy at all. The city itsef has big ...huge...gray houses...wide streets with nothing on them. Quite boring.
But I'm from a baltic state too...so I don't mind that they don't have much shops and stuff...I know how boring it is to live in here. I'm used to it. Go to fucking NY if you want to shop.

The main reason why I started liking latvians is the music. They have house music festivals every week. They know how to rave. They stay up 24 hours and laugh in the morning all together. Nobody goes home earlier to write bad reviews for the newspapers whining about the weather and the way all ketchup was gone by the time they got to the food table...or whatever.
When I go to a festival in Estonia then always somebody is whining about something. I was at a concert in here and a couple behind me practically wanted to murder me for jumping when my favourite song got played. I was like: wtf???? It's a fucking concert, we are standing, we are infront of the stage, get the fuccccckkkk away from here if you think it's not polite to fucking move. Fuck.
So I'm really being honest here - it was an incredible change for me to see people actually behave super friendly at concerts and stuff. Smiling. NORMAL!
I always try to smile as much as I can. My cheeks hurt after concerts and festivals! I was having a good time...I was enjoying myself. Everybody can have my ketchup!

I got on the bus at 2 in the morning to go back to Estonia ( a 5 hour ride) and then when the bus was almost ready to leave, a guy came in and asked in russian: Hey everybody, who went to Metallica?
A lot of people rose their hands (I don't know why, but most of the people were latvian).
Then he asked: Did you like it?
We yelled YEEEEEE
And then he said that he has the ticket to go to Estonia but he would like to take his friend with him too BUT...they dont have any money.
At the same moment...like...everybody (at least around me) stretched their hands out with money. I wanted to give 5 lats...which is over 100 kroons...which would have been 1/3 of the ticket money :D (I told my friend too: money is nothing! money is not important!) but the guy didn't even make it to me - he got all the money he needed just from I don't know...4 people. :)
In Estonia you would get the money too, but there was something incredebly sweet how people opened their wallets with smiles on their faces. Without any questions, just pure kindness.

And then I doze off thinking that sometimes the world can be a really nice place.






Ahahah, WW sent me this. It's the 2006 Metallica concert that I went to. And this was my calendar back then. XD I really waited for the concert. :D