Blonde Mafia Ganja Island

And when the sun sets over the rooftops, while I'm standing on my 7th floor balcony, and when the air is still a bit warm. Then I think it's all worth it. I'm willing to be sad from time to time, to witness the beauty of life.
I do not know what monsters hide in every person. Sometimes I don't know my own monsters.
A friend of mine said on msn that he wants people and life to be more simple. Simplicity. Because he doesn't understand why people do the things they do and why they are what they are.
I think life is very simple while you are with others. I think all people are simple.
But the moment when things get really really difficult is when you are alone. Alone in your room with your thoughts. Sometimes the world gets so difficult I don't know to handle it anymore. I think it's me who makes things difficult for myself. And it's you who makes things difficult for yourself. So maybe we should avoid it and spend more time together? :)
I wish I could say to people who I like. But I have a feeling they would think I am annoying. Or not? I don't trust myself.
As I said, sometimes I am my own worst enemy.

Is it possible to have a soulmate? Somebody who sees your soul and really understands it? Is it possible to rest your head on that persons lap and feel your souls intertwining?
There hasn't really been a person who understood me like that. So many words have been said that now fly in the open space without a home. There have been feelings that were felt and which then melted and run into the cracks of the walls, like tiny rivers.

I guess it is not possible to have a true soulmate. With every person there comes a time when you don't understand him or her. It doesn't necessarily have to happen while having a conversation. Not at all.
I really love my grandmother. She is the closest to a soulmate I have ever had and we really understand eachother well. But as I kid I remember looking at her, while she stood infront of the window, her eyes wandering somewhere in the depths of the sky. And I didn't have the slightest clue of what she was thinking or feeling. And those moments made me feel less close to her.

But I've never been the one who gives up easy. I'm proud of the things I've done in my life, how brave I've been. And even now, I'm not giving up. Will it be a woman or a man? Will it be a boyfriend who takes me into his arms and makes me forget the world. I am willing to try to let myself go. I'm willing to help and step one step closer.
Just to feel the wind in my hair and our eyelashes brushing together.

T�iesti vastupidiselt mu s�prade seas levivale arvamusele, et Blong on �ks igavene metallmaoga joodik ja muidu kaabakas, �tles mulle alkotest (alkoinfo.ee), et ma joon nii palju, et ma suren varsti �ra.
Siinkohal tsiteerin: Tarbisite �he p�evaga 97,4 alkoholi�hikut. Naised ei tohiks p�evas tarbida mitte enam kui 2 alkoholi�hikut. N�dalas peab olema v�hemalt 3 alkoholivaba p�eva.

Ps. Viimase lause kohta alustas mu toakaaslane entusiastlikult: "No meil on v�hemalt �ks ja..." ja siis ta h��l vaibus.

P�ris sitt. Tegin testi ausalt ja sinisilmselt. No n��d tuleb siis v�lja, et edaspidi peab valetama hakkama.

Teine test samal lehel:

Punkte kokku 16-19
Sinu joomisharjumused h�vitavad Sinu tervist ning Sa v�id olla alkohols�ltuvuses. Kui v�hegi v�imalik, l�peta joomine otsekohe. V�ta �hendust oma perearstiga ning r��gi selle testi tulemustest, v�i siis p��rdu kindlasti vastavate spetsialistide poole.

T�itsa �udne on sellised alusetuid s��distusi lugeda. Meelepahast tulevad lausa pisarad silma. Samas, kindlasti tarbin ma praegusel eluperioodil rohkem alkoholi kui tavaliselt. Kogused on samad, lihtsalt momente kus ma neid ...ee...koguseid .. h�vitan, on tunduvalt tihemini.
N�dalaplaan on meil siin selline, et esmasp�eval ma kooli ei j�ua sest j�le r�ve on olla, turgutuseks tuleb pudelite l�pud �ra kl�nksata. Teisip�eval k�in koolis (siinkohal ka ennist mainitud 1 alkoholivaba p�ev) ja siis kolmap�eval hakkab ametlikult n�dalavahetus. Olen t�iesti shitfaced. Neljap�eval j�uan koju siis kui tunnid juba k�ivad. Olen shitfaced. Keeran magama, et �rgata, k�ia dushi all ja teha enne v�ljumist kiirelt paar kokteili. Reede, laup�ev ja p�hap�eval olen shitfaced ja kui m�letaks mida teinud olen, oleks eriti h�sti.
Erasmus - education first!

Ja �rge arvake, et see on mingi lihtne ja l�bus asi koguaeg viina ja bacardit alla laksata. Vatupidi. Ma olen jube v�sinud! Kui reedel �les �rkan m�tlen alati et no ei enam. �hel �htul me isegi �ritasime kuradile vastu seista. Ei joonud kodus tilkagi, ei joonud v�ljas tilkagi. J�le igav oli. No t�esti. Igalpool mingi lollid l�ustad, klubid miski ime l�bi t�hjemad kui eales varem. Kingad pitsitasid, jakiga oli liiga palav.
Hakkasime kahe ajal kodu poole astuma kui korraga helistasid s�brad ja �tlesid et "NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo only 5 minutes". M�tlesime et no h�sti siis, puhtalt viisakusest, 5 minutit ju t�esti v�ib.
Istusime kuskil klubinurgas ja r��kisime juttu ja kuna kogu laud tellis juua siis t�itsa m�rkamatult sigines meiegi k�tte rumm koolaga. Korraga l�ks klubi rahvast jube t�is ja kingad muutusid pehmeteks ja jakiga oli v�ga m�nus olla. Ja no sealt alates on juba ajalugu.
V�imatu ma �tlen. V�imatu!

Nii et �rge tehke selliseid teste. Need testid ei v�ta mind kui individuaali. Nad ei tea mu p�evaplaani, nad ei tea kuidas ma seisan vastu, kuidas ma seisan nagu puu tormis ja vehin okstega. Ei! Nad ei tea midagi vaid kupatavad mind hoopis perearsti juurde ning nimetavad mind vastasugupoole esindajaks, sest naised, need ei joo ju rohkem kui 2 alkoholi�hikut p�evas.