Blonde Mafia Ganja Island

Okay, as always, I managed to get reaaaaaaaaallllly sick. I had like 38c fever and my throat was so swollen I couldn't breathe. The same thing I had back in October when B was in hospital with it in Turkey. Horrible shit.

So now I'm pretty much okay. Took me about 5 days and a lot of inhalation to get over it.
Mom went to Finland on the weekend. I changed my ticket, going next Saturday. Anyway when mom got back then she run into my room and started talking what she did and what she bought. And she was like: So I tried all these clothes on and tried to imagine if they would fit you. But the clothes this season are SOOOO stupid. They wouldn't suit you at all - you put them all and your boobs are totally out or they just wont fit!

XD XD I was like: Geeeee mom I know!!!

I've been tryin' to tell some of my friends just to, you know, have the girly whine on how I hate the clothes and dresses right now. I put them on and my breasts look like I'm about to nurse a fucking baby or something.
And then my friends have this annoyed look on their faces like, jesus, lose some weight or something then. XD
These are the moments when you realize what the saying- best friends look alike- means. Like seriously, you need somebody to have the same body measures to really understand the deal. Unfortunately my friends are like from Americas Next Top Model.
I'm sure they have their own problems and they can chat about them best with other ANTM's.

It's just that the world is so unfair. I feel really bad when out of 20 things that I try on, everything looks bad on me, because I am a woman. And I'm not 190cm, I don't have flat stomach and ribs that show, without breasts NOR ass.
This is not beautiful, isn't it?
I don't know. Maybe it is and the world is fucked for me. But I feel stressed, I feel fat. I disgust myself and I wanna go home and cry the whole night. And there's nobody to comfort me.

I don't wanna be sad in shops. And I don't want to have ANTM's in these stores roll their eyes when I can't shop in 2,5 minutes and put on everything I want and show my ribs.

I really like the look I have though. I've never been completely frustrated with it. There are moments when I hate myself, like every girl. And these moments happen basically every day. But when it comes to me and the opposite sex, then I feel really good. I like to be a woman. I like men.
I like how clothes can compliment your body and how jewelry rests on your glowing skin. I think I'm definitely a sensual type of woman. At least more sensual than ...somebody who is not sensual at all. XD lol I like being sexy and I'm not giving up on life. Just jesus fucking christ, there's this shop where they sell lingerie, the whole shop is totally full of it. Rows and rows of beautiful lingerie. At all they have is A cup. Or occasionally some B cups. WTF?!
I'm not somebody who has huge breasts. No, fuck, I'm a normal girl. WTF
Just I don't understand this world. And shops with number 32-34 jeans make me tired. And sad.
I know that some of the people I've spoken to have the same problem, so here I am, just speaking out loud.
If you didn't like it then please just go read news or something.

I'm sure one day I'll write about it in a really funny and witty way, but today I'm just a bit frustrated. Nevertheless, happy with who I am. :)

Well, miau... :)