Blonde Mafia Ganja Island

I remember when I first heard that Christina Applegate was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was shocked. She has always been one of the actresses who I really like and admire. Later I heard she had decided to let doctors remove both of her breasts. Whenever I got a chance, I looked for her in the magazines etc, just to hear how she's doing.
Today I turned the TV on and Christina was on Oprah talking about her recovery.

I felt SO touched. I couldn't help but to cry the whole time (yes, for about an hour) and I knew I had to blog about this.

She was 36 while being diagnosed and what she kept saying was: women should all be aware that breast cancer may surprise you before you turn 40.
I checked some web pages and you can start going to regular checkups after turning twenty.
Also, I know that most of the people, including my friends, who I love and care for, think that if you do not have a history of breast cancer in your family, you should not be worried.
That is completely wrong. Most of the people who have a cancer in their breast ( every seventh woman in USA!) don't have any history of cancer in their family. Their mothers, grandmothers, sisters or aunts have never gone through it.
Of course people who HAVE had breast cancer in their family are at a higher risk.

One reason why I am interested in this is that I am also at a higher risk. My mothers mother had one of her breasts removed and she managed to beat the cancer. She is 70 today and looks magnificent.
The risk is especially high for those whose mother or sister has been diagnosed. There is also a possibility you have a special gene, with which there is a 84% risk of getting the cancer.

Christina spoke about making the decision. How it didn't seem so bad at all first, but how she broke down into tears at the doctors office. She said she made a whole series of photos of her breasts before having the final surgery. Just to remember every curve...every contour... of her lifelong best friends. And for a woman it really is no joke.

I am so fond of my body. It is mine. It is how I was born. It grew with me. Every memory, feeling, touch, has melted into it.
And I can't help but to think... would my boyfriend still want me? Would he find me sexy?
Would I still be woman enough?

Christina said that thanks to all the possibilities today, she is getting implants and the future doesn't look so bad anymore. But she also mentioned that she still cries every day at least once for the loss of her breasts.

Me, as a woman, felt that very strongly of course. And I admired her strength so much.

But then ...

women who had not been so lucky started talking. One woman had lost her sister to breast cancer. Through tears she reminded us that "breast cancer IS a serious thing".

I started realizing that losing a breast. Losing two breasts. That is nothing!
You are still alive, you still breathe, you can still enjoy life!
One woman had been fighting breast cancer for 6 years and now it had already gone to her lungs and to her brain. Oh, she looked so weak, so looked so tired. And her child was about 6 or 7.
Losing a breast. Losing two. Seeing your kid go to the first grade?
That's when I really broke down.

Seeing all these women sit in one room. Some recovering, some dealing with it right now. All so strong. All so admirable!

One woman said that when she was diagnosed, she got chemotherapy and she lost her hair. One of her breast was removed. And one night she felt this huge urge to cry. She put the water running in the bathroom so that nobody could hear her and she went to the bath, laid down on the bottom of the bathtub, naked, bald, ugly, and cried.
And suddenly her mother came in and said: don't cry, you are a woman, you can do it. You are still beautiful. And you can fight this.

And it was then, that she realized she didn't need her long silky hair, make up, her super woman image. She didn't need that. Because the real she got out and she was beautiful.
So for the women who have gone through breast cancer, it has also been a spiritual journey. And I totally understand it. Going through with it rearranges your priorities.

But listening to all of the sad stories. The women who have died at a young age. All those women. All of them. There are so many of them! Hearing their stories... it is horrible. It is unfair and I don't understand why the world is killing these young, delicate flowers who are meant to nurture and love their children. Instead they close their eyes for ever.

My loves, please do the checkups in the future, if you are too young right now.
Almost all of us know somebody who has had breast cancer, or who has died of it. :( We've heard the sad stories, we have felt the sadness.
And I don't want to feel it again.

That is all I wanted to say again. Just that it has been worrying me for a long time and I had to say it out loud.

With this post I would like to show my admiration to the amazing, strong women who have to deal with this problem in their life. Including my wonderful grandmother.
And to those who didn't have the strength to fight any longer.
If we could gather all the love your close ones feel for you, it could outshine all the stars in the universe.