Blonde Mafia Ganja Island

Coz I Love You - Slade


When we're miles apart you still reach my heart how I love you
I just like the things you do mmm,
don't you change the things you do mmm,

KBC: Recently, my sister had a child. A few months before hand, she had a baby shower. I was invited, because my sister likes getting presents. I got them Hungry Hungry Hippos. The reason for this? My brother-in-law, when young, was a terror, and his mother was an actual single mother. The father left the day of conception.
KBC: One day, his mother got fed up with my brother-in-laws antics, she said 'That's it, grab one toy, you're going to the orphanage!' So he grabs HHH, they walk around a mall a bit, he's clutching that thing to him saying 'I *sob* Don't *Sob* wanna *sob* go to the orphan*sob*age!'
KBC: And then they go home. But this story isn't about my brother-in-law, or his mother, or even my nephew, really. It's about the baby shower, when I went out to buy their gift- Hungry Hungry Hippos.
KBC: I go to Walmart, because it's the only thing open at the time I went out. I go to the toy section, look at the Lego, crappy excuse for action figures, then grab the game. After that, I start heading for the cash registers.
KBC: On the way towards the cashes, I pass the pharmacy and realize, 'Hey, I need condoms.' Because, well, condoms expire after four years. So, I grab a box of condoms, Tiny Trojans (they invaded in a pony, not a horse) and head to the cashes with my HHH in tow.
KBC: While waiting at the cash, I see their impulse buys. Impulse buy at this cash was gummy bears. This reminded me about a story I heard that eating too many gummy bears can turn your pee black. So I picked up some. For science. (Post-script: It didn't)
KBC: I'm waiting for the cashier, and there's two people in front of me. The cashier is this old, 80 or older blue haired bat who likes talking. She rung the items up for the people in front of me and talked to them for a few minutes, despite their wanting to pay and leave. And then I get served.
KBC: She looks at me and smiles, then looks at my items. Then looks at me. And looks at my items. And then just glares at me. I'm standing right in front of her, after a long 12 hour shift, in a trenchcoat, not having shaved for a week. That's when it hits me, I just won the condom game, where you grab three items, one being condoms, and see if you can get a reaction. You know, coathanger, garbage bags, condoms. Something like that.
KBC: By the way she's looking at me, she must think I'm a child molester. So I say to her. 'Oh, uh, I'm new in town...do you know where I can get a white, panelled van?' And her jaw drops. She scans the items, as she hadn't yet, as fast as fast can be, I give her the money and she pretty much throws it back at me.
KBC: I thank her for her service, and start to leave the store. Before I leave, I look back, and I see her, on the phone, looks like she's yelling, using her hand beside her to try and judge height next to her, probably giving my description to someone. And that's why I'm not allowed at the east end Wal-mart again. END.

P�ha hinduismiraamat. Esimesed 2 lauset toovad v�lja elut�ed.
Pildistamise ajal sai veel nenditud et "munnigi ei n�e".
Vot sulle s�h.

Would You Mind - Kyla
produced by Crazy Cousinz

I remember when I first heard that Christina Applegate was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was shocked. She has always been one of the actresses who I really like and admire. Later I heard she had decided to let doctors remove both of her breasts. Whenever I got a chance, I looked for her in the magazines etc, just to hear how she's doing.
Today I turned the TV on and Christina was on Oprah talking about her recovery.

I felt SO touched. I couldn't help but to cry the whole time (yes, for about an hour) and I knew I had to blog about this.

She was 36 while being diagnosed and what she kept saying was: women should all be aware that breast cancer may surprise you before you turn 40.
I checked some web pages and you can start going to regular checkups after turning twenty.
Also, I know that most of the people, including my friends, who I love and care for, think that if you do not have a history of breast cancer in your family, you should not be worried.
That is completely wrong. Most of the people who have a cancer in their breast ( every seventh woman in USA!) don't have any history of cancer in their family. Their mothers, grandmothers, sisters or aunts have never gone through it.
Of course people who HAVE had breast cancer in their family are at a higher risk.

One reason why I am interested in this is that I am also at a higher risk. My mothers mother had one of her breasts removed and she managed to beat the cancer. She is 70 today and looks magnificent.
The risk is especially high for those whose mother or sister has been diagnosed. There is also a possibility you have a special gene, with which there is a 84% risk of getting the cancer.

Christina spoke about making the decision. How it didn't seem so bad at all first, but how she broke down into tears at the doctors office. She said she made a whole series of photos of her breasts before having the final surgery. Just to remember every curve...every contour... of her lifelong best friends. And for a woman it really is no joke.

I am so fond of my body. It is mine. It is how I was born. It grew with me. Every memory, feeling, touch, has melted into it.
And I can't help but to think... would my boyfriend still want me? Would he find me sexy?
Would I still be woman enough?

Christina said that thanks to all the possibilities today, she is getting implants and the future doesn't look so bad anymore. But she also mentioned that she still cries every day at least once for the loss of her breasts.

Me, as a woman, felt that very strongly of course. And I admired her strength so much.

But then ...

women who had not been so lucky started talking. One woman had lost her sister to breast cancer. Through tears she reminded us that "breast cancer IS a serious thing".

I started realizing that losing a breast. Losing two breasts. That is nothing!
You are still alive, you still breathe, you can still enjoy life!
One woman had been fighting breast cancer for 6 years and now it had already gone to her lungs and to her brain. Oh, she looked so weak, so looked so tired. And her child was about 6 or 7.
Losing a breast. Losing two. Seeing your kid go to the first grade?
That's when I really broke down.

Seeing all these women sit in one room. Some recovering, some dealing with it right now. All so strong. All so admirable!

One woman said that when she was diagnosed, she got chemotherapy and she lost her hair. One of her breast was removed. And one night she felt this huge urge to cry. She put the water running in the bathroom so that nobody could hear her and she went to the bath, laid down on the bottom of the bathtub, naked, bald, ugly, and cried.
And suddenly her mother came in and said: don't cry, you are a woman, you can do it. You are still beautiful. And you can fight this.

And it was then, that she realized she didn't need her long silky hair, make up, her super woman image. She didn't need that. Because the real she got out and she was beautiful.
So for the women who have gone through breast cancer, it has also been a spiritual journey. And I totally understand it. Going through with it rearranges your priorities.

But listening to all of the sad stories. The women who have died at a young age. All those women. All of them. There are so many of them! Hearing their stories... it is horrible. It is unfair and I don't understand why the world is killing these young, delicate flowers who are meant to nurture and love their children. Instead they close their eyes for ever.

My loves, please do the checkups in the future, if you are too young right now.
Almost all of us know somebody who has had breast cancer, or who has died of it. :( We've heard the sad stories, we have felt the sadness.
And I don't want to feel it again.

That is all I wanted to say again. Just that it has been worrying me for a long time and I had to say it out loud.

With this post I would like to show my admiration to the amazing, strong women who have to deal with this problem in their life. Including my wonderful grandmother.
And to those who didn't have the strength to fight any longer.
If we could gather all the love your close ones feel for you, it could outshine all the stars in the universe.

For so many many many times. Countless really. Have I opened the door of my room and been sucked into the darkness like a homeless soul. My hair has become one with the fierce orange flames kissing my curtains. Black snakes have crawled over the lampshades to dance in unison with my weak hands.
How many times have I thought over and over and over again: what did I do wrong? Do I deserve all this? Why am I so unhappy? What is the meaning of life anyway. Does the world need me?
The snakes have become one with my arms, the blackness has made its home in my eyes.
I didn't wait for it to pass, it felt so me. My destiny, the way I am. When somebody asked about how my life has been, my answer would be quite negative.
Do you feel me?

Tonight I cleaned the kitchen. Washed the dishes, cleaned the counters. Threw garbage out.
I will talk myself into sleep soon.
I will wake up at 8 am. I will take a shower, pack my laptop and head to university.

When I open the door to my room I will see sun dying it yellow. Birds will sing behind the window, on the blossoming treetops.

I am breathing peacefully.
My hands are warm.

I feel inspired to live. To try new things. To do the things I like.
And I don't need anything anymore.
'Coz I've got it all.

I talked to a very very good friend about life and the way things happen and what they lead to. My friend said that his life has always been super, it keeps getting better and better and he doesn't know who to thank.
Listening to somebody saying something like that made me .... made me speechless really. I know for sure his heart has been broken in the past. Not only good things have happened to him. He didn't get to travel and live in the country he dreamed about. He has not passed all his exams in first tries. All the things that get most of people down. I'm sure they got him down too. But unlike most of the people, he didn't find them worthy to mention while discussing the bigger picture of his life.
He says that his life has been amazing. These negative things were nothing.
And I feel so much respect, I feel so emotional. That is a good person who says things like these. This is a truly pure heart.
I know, we all have still a lot to learn, but isn't it the most beautiful thing in the world to be thankful for the things that have made you smile? To set those things in front and almost erase the things which got you down. I'm not speaking about erasing the memories. Of course not. You need both - the good and the bad ones to grow as a person. But to be grateful for rather the good ones...
It may seem so simple. So very very simple. But for me it is an honor and joy to hear somebody talking about his life in that way. To say that you would wish you knew who to thank for your life.
I wish this was the kind of person I was. It gives me inspiration to know that people like that really exist.

Tonight I will go to sleep, knowing that I have all the things that I want. And I wish I could knew who to thank for them.

:) hugs my loved ones

Blind - Mega Bass