Blonde Mafia Ganja Island

I just HAD to write an idiot I am.

Ok, last night at about midnight I put some clothes into the washing machine. The machine takes about an hour to wash them. So an hour went by.
Yeap.
I forgot to take them out and went to sleep.
I suddenly remembered it in the morning, shitloads of hours later.
Yeap.
I still forgot to take them out.
At school I was like...shiettt, got to go home and take them out.
So, came home at 19. My clothes had been in the machine the whole night and the whole day.
Yeap.
Forgot to take them out. I fell asleep. Then I woke up, did some school stuff, some work stuff. Then I remembered... SHIT- MY CLOTHES.
So I finally took them out...24 hours later then I had put them in. They smelled funny.

Anyway, I noticed I have to wash some more things. Tomorrow is my moms bday party, real' big and fancy. I wanna wear this sexy black shirt.
I found some more black clothes that needed washing. Went to the machine. Put the things inside. Switched it on.
Came to my room.
And this fucking shirt that I really NEED to wash is on my fucking bed. Fuck!!!!

I.D.I.O.T.

Can't type well, just dyed my nails.
Well, I listened to drum and bass the whole day. So many signs had showed me I have to dig out my old cd's and download some cool new tracks. Signs like conversations with different people about dnb and the boredom I had when I looked at my Itunes tracklist.
Well, I listened the whole day. It's such a huge difference when you listen with headphones. At least for me. After it I'm practically death for some time...but it's 100% worth it.
I walked around in my aparment like on heroin. Turururrtaramartramrtamtramtram TFFUHHHH!
Did those funny weird dance moves people do when they listen to sick hard deep dnb.
I dont care about the vocals much. Like with house, I enjoy the beat a lot more than the words. Of course some tracks have superb vocals and then you listen to the message of the lyrics and so on.
Andy C has some really neat tracks.

I go back a long way with my friend dnb. I remember when I was quite young...there was a track where a man kept repeating a line throughout the whole track and it sounded just like "mata mind maha" in estonian. :D Means: Bury me :D
Maybe ww remembers it. She was at my place, we were playing cards with my bro. :)

I just remembered how in Italy we were crossing the road and a guy yelled from his car: CIAO
And I yelled back: CHIAUA!
My friend burst into laughter. That's why I remember it. I didn't find it so funny, but she was laughing. :)

I'll scare the people on the bus tomorrow with my horrible tired looks and scary dnb music. :D
I'm not one of those who turns the volume down in public places. On the contrary.
It's kinda annoying when there's complete silence in the bus (like usually) and then you stand really really close to someone and you listen to music very loud and you don't know how deep you breathe and if it sounds freaky. :D Then you try to hold your breath at bus stops.
When I finally step out then I look somewhat green. :D ahaha
At least the music is good.

Good night. It's 2 am so Im probably gonna stay up for some more hours, but you, yes YOU, go to sleep immediately!

Thanks littlellama for remembering me this! Our own kindergarten party!! XD
In Tartu in October. I was so drunk. I don't know how it happened. I just drank a bit too much.
We sat there and were like "shit...everybody's like 12 or something."
It was the afterparty of Battle Of The Year ..or something like that.
Ay! Oy! Yee! Ay! Uh! Ah! Wooh! Wooh! Wooh!

http://s12.photobucket.com/albums/a215/Briccy777/?action=view&current=MVI_5287.flv

The song which to we shout is Dizzee Rascal - Pussyole (Old Skool).

(Last night...)

I�m sitting in my room on the bed, I put one of my Elvis Presley cd�s on. It�s in the middle of the night, my favourite part of those long and horrible 24 hours I have to live through everyday. Nah, they aren�t that horrible�

There�sa flie somewhere in the room. It�s flying round constantly and making this annoying zumZUMzum voice.

I tried to clean a bit. I managed to put some jewelry and make up away. I�m so sad I lost my favourite earrings in the club a couple of weeks ago. It was funny because I told my friend that night in the club: AAaaa one of my earrings is gone! And she was like�omg�poor you! Wait�erm�I�ve lost my earrings too!! XD We looked at everybody suspiciously. There were a lot of middle-aged egiptian men, all named Ahmed (I bet they all have jewelry shops in Egypt�now I know how they get new supplies), so we took off soon. I told the cleaning lady that hey�if you find the earring then put it somewhere. She was very nice, told me that yes, yes of course. She even took a close look at the one I still had, so she really listened to me and wanted to help.

I remember in Turkey, in Alanya, I went to a jewelry shop. Its name was something like �Ahmed, Muhamed & brothers� (guess they third and fourth bro didn�t get names because their mother was all out of ideas) and I bought a pair of earrings from there. White gold. Extremely beautiful,covered with litte stars (which I happen to like because of a particular reason). I had to fill in some blanks there, about my name and my address and stuff. And can you believe it, some months later, during christmas, I got a broschure from there! In estonian! :D The spelling mistahes were horrible. Double letters almost everywhere, not to mention the way they wrote �Merry Christmas�. Ahaha�but it was super nice.
It was 2 years ago�and this christmas I got a postcard from them! ? The grammar was a lot better, I noticed only one mistake. ? But yeah, it�s definately lovely of them to remember me. :D (I bet Muhamed has a picture of me on his fridge)

I talked to my dog earlier. I feel with her we have the most normal conversation that I have during the day with...basically anyone. It�s mainly because I�m the only one who does the talking (ahahah). She�s so sweet. I like to put my cheek next to hers and close my eyes. I feel her little honest, always positive heart beating and I turn calm and the worries of the world fade a bit.

Today I was seriously thinking about ending some of my relationships. With some people. I think and feel that we shouldn�t be in eachother lives anymore.There is just no point. My heart is tired. We have nothing to talk about. Actually we have a lot to talk about, at least I always do. But I�m tired of listening to that persoon. Makes me always feel a bit down.

Oh cool, the flie is sitting on the ceiling, quite calmly. If I�d have a camera here, I could make a documentary for the Animal Planet or Discovery Channel: �The idle life of a flie�. I bet it would be a smash hit. I can actually even picture people going to the cinema to see it. Children talking at school �Hey let�s go to see that flie movie! I wanted to buy a pair of jeans, but who need jeans when you can see a movie of a flie!�

Maybe I could get Johnny Depp to dub it. Maybe I could film Johnny Depp while his dubing it. Maybe I could add some clips of Depp into the film. Maybe I could skip some flie parts. Maybe I could skip ALL the flie parts and just have a film about Johnny Depp saying: ZUMzumZUM� For 2,5 hours. Nah, let�s make it 3,5�hey, come on�Lord of the Rings was pretty long too!

There�s a raindear on my bed.
LOL that sounded wrong XD ahaha. It�s a small one�LOL, that sounded wrong too. Can you imagine a reindear just kinda chillin� on my bed? :D Anyway, it�s a plush toy I got from Canada. Yep, I was on some kind of a forum of a russian metal band, pretty famous too, I liked their tracks. And the guy said that when he was a little boy then his grandpa used to bring them bitter chocolate from Estonia (the chocolate factory Kalev, is old, famous and really good in here!) and it was like a childhood memory for him. So I said, what�s the problem, I�ll send you some. And I did. I sent like 20 bars. XD He was super happy and in return he and his wife sent me the toy. It�s really pretty.

I like leopard print. It can be wore in a really slutty way, or then really stylishly. I hope I fall into the second category, ahaha. I have many many accsessories with leopard print.

I should probably go to sleep because I have nothing specific to write about. But I hardly ever have anyway.

The things that are in my mind are too personal to be written on the internet, although these are the things that want to come out the most, and that most need to be written about. If I ever make a secret blogger account somewhere, then the name will consist of something to do with brynettes. Then nobody will understand that it�s me, because I am a true hearted blond. And I love it. That�s me. No matter actually what the colour is�whether I�d be a blonde or a readhead, but at the moment I�m blonde and� just�it�s me. Plus I still intend to put together a decent mob in Sicily. I�ll be the Blonde-Mafia boss of course. I�ll wear black leather and animal print and high heels. And people will mix me up with the local transsexuals! XD XD XD
When I was in Italy, then me & my friend (who is rather tall, but I�m not so short either when I wear heels) went to a club. Or as they call it �disco. And we noticed a certain similar pattern in every disco � all the blonde and tall ones were in fact men dressed as women. So all hetero-sexual men looked at us really carefully, they didnt believe we were real woman. Because women have to be short, hairy and dark haired.

I could write so much about that trip. It was the funniest trip I have ever hard. Oh my god what crazy things we did!!! :D Like�one night we sat in the car of 2 strangers, 2 local Ciros. And we drove to a disco. The guys basically kept repeating �mammamia� the whole time. They couldn�t believe that we actually agreed to go with them. They were really pretty and I was like��Are you talking to me?! Are you sure??� :D I saw drool dripping from the corner of their mouthes. The guy who had asked us to chill with them was the one who was driving now, and he was constantly looking at the rear-way mirror at me. We had drank italian wines before (we bought them from a wine cellar that we had visited in the afternoon). God, I still remember the taste of the raisin wine. It was a rather strong and specific taste�and it literally burnt my throat. Anyway, we were sitting in the car and�here�s another thing I have to mention before I go on.



Buddy! In estonian we call it �SEMU�.

My first acquaintance with buddy was a couple of years ago when I went with 2 families to Finland, to Himos, to do some mountain-skiing. We went by ship and on the ship me, my bro and his girl,were walking along the corridor when my bro suddenly saw some postcards on the wall. They were free and everybody could take as many as they wanted. On the postcard was the name of the ship and under it a Picture of SEMU :D With his �lovely� smile. Semu is a show host during the evenings on that ship :D My bro started laughing and said: shit, that�s sick, I�ll take some and send them to my friends at work!

So now�we went to Italy with my beautiful blonde and tall friend, but also, first we went to Finland by ship. And I noticed the postcards on the wall. This time they looked even creepier. Semu was in close up with his microphone. I showed it to my friend and we practically died laughing. I was about to take one or 2 cards, when my friend, maniacally laughing, took about 35. :D :D I was like, woah shit, I�ve got to take some more too! And we stuffed the postcards into our bags. So after that�whereever we went, we always took some of the postcards with us�we gave them to people�we stick them on walls..left them in restaurants. Everywhere.
Also I must add that after Italy, we made a promise that we will take Semu to all the other trips too. So here he is, in a restaurant in France. I'll add pictures of him reading a french dictionary and standing before the eiffel tower soon too! :D




When we arrived at the hotel in Italy, then we made an altar of them above the bed.




And every morning we woke up and the postcards had fallen down and then we left because we were always in a hurry in the mornings�and when we came back then the cleaning ladies had put all the cards back above the bed. XDXD And back in Estonia, I cut the postcard smaller and glued SEMU to my school-diary.


(notice the bunny-ears, ahahahahahahaha :D )

We had this special sentence to go with the card to: �EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE ALRIGHT!� :D It was because of the smile. Whenever we had a hangover in Italy, or we felt shit because of the estonians who embarassed us during the trip, then we showed eachother the card and said: �K�ik saab korda!� :D And then we looked at that smile�it�s like..full of confidence, yet so freaky and warm�I don�t know XD It�s crazy!

Now we were sitting in the car, super carefree and very giggly because of the wines�and we had two beautiful guys sitting infront of us�and I looked at my friend, and�this moment I will always remember! She had this crazy smile on, eyes closed�she looked like this--- XD ...And she was with her elbows deep in her bag, and she just pulled out pictures of buddy and threw them behind her back. Just in a random direction all over the back window. :))
And the guy who in the first seat, next to the driver, he looked back and said with a huge smile: Che cosa? Che cosa?

And I laughed and laughed. He pulled one of the cards from my friends hands and looked at it for some time. He raised his head and had this really surprising look on his face: �Your boyfriend?�

AHAHAHAHAHA we laughed so hard that I thought I�ll get an heart attack or pee my pants. It would have been a beautiful death though. Next to such an incredebly lovely friend, practically a soulsister to me. Not �practically�, she IS. ! In beautiful Italy�in a little car with bello bello italianos�. :D The peeing part wouldn�t have been so beautiful of course. XD Rather embarrasing actually. XD
When I come to think of it then�at the disco�I bet Ciros� must have felt pretty uncomfortable because all the other men thought they were with transsexuals. XD ahahahaha

Yeap, we had so much fun, and we were so stupid and did things that would make people hide their faces from the society for 15 years. But I don�t regret anything. I would do almost everything exactly the same. Because although most of the things were childish � I AM childish and I am proud of it. I don�t wanna turn into an old crumpy whining old lady.

The flie has gone to sleep. I should do the same. I still think the documentary thing is a good idea. What could be more interesting that a sleeping flie? I dunno..for sure not reading my blog.

I have so much about more to write..for instance MI CASA and the Dove shampoo thing...and chiaua's :D But I don't know how my trip-partner feels about it. :D So let's just give it a rest for a while.

Ciao :D

ps. A big request to anyone who (by accident) reads this blog-- if u ever happen to be on a ship called "Viking Line" then please grab as many semus' as u can (maybe even the original one :P ) and contact me through this blog! :D I'd really want some more postcards as I only have a few...

There's a bus stop near my home...and its name is "PIDU", basically in estonian it means "PARTY".
I love it.
Picture me....sitting at the back of the bus, the seat next to me is soaken wet because of the urinating drunk hoe who sat there 5 seconds ago. The sweet smell of AIDS and tubercolosis is whirling pass your hair...It's raining outside but you can't see it anyway because the window is covered with thick grey mold. The driver obviously can't drive because he hits the breaks in every 10 seconds. You feel like shit (probably because u are sitting in some of it).
And then suddenly *chord of angels* the bus stops, the doors open, shitloads of rain pour in...and then...there it is...surrounded by beautiful golden light...stands the (a bit tweaky) busstop sign and on it is written exactly the same what the old bald busdriver is saying to his crappy microphone with his pathetic nasal voice: "Party..."

:D

-----

XD XD XD XD
ahahahahahahahahaha

I just talked to my friend about saturday night (fever) ...hey actually I did have a fever. 38,3 !!
Anyway, we don't remember much....but the parts we remember are so fucking hilarious that I start laughing like crazy every time I remember something.
This morning I woke up and ...firstly, my back hurts - like this sharp pain...i think it has something to do with the nerves. Then, both my knees are bruised and I can't bend them. Thirdly, I can't raise my arms, I don't know, maybe I took some boxing classes or something after midnight. God knows. Seriously. (Ciao Baari Talis! :D ) In addition, my right foot feels like walking on glass. Also, my neck...I can't turn my head.
So basically, I walk around like some kind of a retarded creep. And I've still got a fever.

Went to school today...stayed there for exactly one hour, did some german grammatics and listening tasks and then took off with a friend of mine. We went to Hesburger. Girls have got to eat!
This friend looks pretty much like me, only a million times prettier. She has exactly the same colour of blonde hair as me, so we are often called twins. (I usually correct people and say we are actually triples. :D ) And we are similar in many many ways. With her we just laugh 10% of the time. Because 50% we eat, 30% sleep and ...ee...my math isnt actually that good...ok, lets say that 15% of time we are just soooo incredebly lazy.
Let me explain a bit. We have german twice a week. And every time we do the homework either at 4am or at school right before the class. Can you believe it. Every time. Not even ONCE have we studied earlier or done some proper preparations. That's what lazy-ass means.
Also...we sleep right after school...when everybody else goes to...hip-hop...dancing...tennis...swimming..whatever. We sleep. And then we get up when everybody else is going to sleep. And then we eat...
But when we are together then it is so incredebly funny, yet at the same time we have really interesting and realistic and smart opinions that we share. :)

I love my friends. They are all different, but they have qualities that I treasure. They make me a better person too. I am very lucky to have them, I really am. Really really really.

Saturday night was crazy because...I have drank a lot in my life. Sometimes less, sometimes more. One time I drank so much that I still don't remember what I did, my friend told me that we walked from one part of Tallinn to the other on foot. I dont remember a single thing. It was after Wonderwomans' bday party at a rock club where this really good estonian band Brides In Bloom was performing (Download Brides In Bloom - Ride). Well...Superwoman (me) sure left the building but doesn't remember anything. Btw, I got this nickname, Superwoman, from my ex. He told me once that wow your clothes always smell so good. I was like...yeah...because I happen to wash them from time to time. :D And he said, wow you can do the laundry?? I said..well..erm...yes? With a wasching machine it's really easy. It's not like it's the 16th century and I have to dig a hole in the ground to reach the water or something. :D I told him that I only have to push one button and the maschine starts working. And he said...wow..superwoman. :D So there you go.
Eee...where was I...yes...saturday night...& that i have been drunk before too.
But this time it was different. I said and did things that are very....crazy. Like...I was there...but I had no brain...and I don't remember much...but I don't understand how could I've done all those things.

We went to many clubs that night. The last one where I went...I was drinking my cocktail while buying the tickets & my friend said something funny to me...I can't recall what it was...and I just spat everything -all the juice in my mouth- on the man behind the counter. He was soaking wet. And he just smiled and wiped his face XD (omg how embarrasing) and he was so adorable. He laughed and just carried on. The girl by his side, who usually sells the tickets, probably thanked god she had taken a break a few seconds ago, or she would have gotten an orange-vodka shower instead of him, anyway she was laughing so hard that she had to cover her face with her hand.

Just remembering those things make me die of laughter. And laughing hurts...y'know my neck...and my back and...oh yeah, I'll better go and lie down.

There's some ketchup on my pillow. Dunno how it got there.

Damn, that remind me....how we were walking on the street at 2 am and we came to a burrito-tortilla trailer car and there was a long queue and some guys asked me what I was gonna order..so they could buy it for me. And I said: just ketchup, thank you

...:D like...wtf XD

Hey I'll add the msn conversation I had with my friend about that particular ketchup part. It was funny.


Friend says:
you remember how i got almost at the beginning of that queue, and then some finn looked at me as at the enemy of the state, damn :D
Me says:
i dont remember that :D
Friend says:
you don't remember cause you were standing at the end of it, and ordering ketchup :D :D

cya later, alligator

I want to be the night behind your window...

Where do beautiful things come from?

And where are they when we need them the most.

----

I must say ww inspires me. I just read her blog and I felt I wanna write too. :)

I took a shower a few minutes ago and I noticed that the spider who was on the ceiling 5 days ago, is still there. Right above the shower. It's really annoying because I have to look at it more 15 times in a minute to make sure it's still there, not moving, not falling anywhere (on me for instance !!!) ...anything that involves a spider and some verbs...is not suitable for me. It's creepy to think that the spider has 8 eyes or something like that. (I've never googeled it or searched on wikipedia or watched animal planet or done ANY KIND of research because you'll get tons of pictures then fo' so') Especially when it's looking at you. Eight naked me's. No way. If there is a mental institution for spiders...then this one will definately get a room for free. I really need some help. I told about the can-opening-sexy-italian the other night, yeah...well..now I kinda need a can-opening-getting-rid-of-spiders-in-the-shower-sexy-italian. Duh...I hope I can call him with a nickname or something. Ciro. :D *cheesy smile*

Today is the birthday of my country. Happy birthday Estonia, 90 years!

I was in the Old Town last night, relatively drunk. Me & my friend passed a middle-aged couple and my friend kinda pushed them. Or more like pushed me and I hit them. I started to apaologize and the woman practically screamed her lungs out. I got scared, but at the same time we were laughing like maniacs and we started running. Cobblestone pavement and high heels. Not a good idea. We fell down right in the middle of the street. I was too drunk to get up by myself and my friend was probably peeing her pants because of the amount of laughing. Anyway, there I was, on the ground, drunk and a bit hurt, plus very very embarrased and I felt like damn, I will never get up from here. And then, out of nowhere, an older man, very politely, gave me his hand and he helped me get up. After that he just walked away. It was like 3 am in the morning so I don't think he was an angel (because angels sleep at that time daaaah, plus his shoes were too dirty to be called angelic) but he really acted like one. Sometimes during daytime when I am too busy with worrying about my shitty looks, then men like him get on my nerves. They stand right there where you least want them to stand, they take the last one of your favourite yoghurts in the shop, they smoke into your hair and they make stupid faces on the bus when they are reading a newspaper. Now I will try to be really nice to them for some time. Because for crying out loud, what can be more embarrasing than meeting the guy during daytime and then be impolite with him. Not that I'm ever impolite with anyone...just that...it's really easy to read stuff from my face (because everything i think is written on my forhead with a red marker lol) and when I'm annoyed I have this rather angry look on.

I wanted to write about many many things, but I dont have time tonight. I'll write tomorrow after school.

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
...
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

...
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...

'Til I find somebody new ...

Life goes on...ride the storm.

Ride The Storm (Original Club Mix) - Carl Kennedy Feat Roachford



For some, the life doesn't go on. Their storm has faded...their storm has turned into a cool quiet night.
Why is life like that?
I would like to give my own storm to those. I don't mind a quiet night. I am nobody.
People don't depend on me, even if they think I'm important, then soon they'll realise the opposite anyway.
I don't support anyone, I don't have kids. I've grown apart from my parents.


I am very sad. My insides are upside-down, I'd like to throw up.
And I can't believe how unfair life is.
Nobodies storm shouldn't be put out before they have lived to see their children grow.

Tonight life made it's way through to me again.
Fuck it's all so stupid...being depressed about school, work or other people.
Just ride the storm.

Today my german teacher made a joke.

She told us we're gonna play through the oral part of german final exams and she is gonna give us marks.

...

wasn't funny.

Anyway, I went to her table and she gave me a paper. I read it through and it was some mumbo-jumbo about children's centrums and free time activities and so on.

I had to make a short summary and then she started asking questions. No, wait, first I had to introduce myself.

I told her my name...and then noticed she rolled her eyes. I was like...ee...should I lie and make my name more interesting somehow? Like add a couple of extra vocals or something?

Anyway, she kindly explained to me that I also have to say my last name.

Then we did a lot of blablabla and finally she said I did really good and she gave me 18 points out of 20. Like wow! She said that if it had been a real exam, I would have gotten the highest mark.

Yehu!

Cas Vs. Lil Cee - Kiss U (The Last Kiss)

Enough with the spicy details of my interesting life & on to the things that I really wanna write about.

(pause)

Ok, back to my life.

I baked a cake in the oven earlier. Was nice. I didn't want it though. Things taste better when I don't eat them.
I mean...when u cook something and someone else eats it - it just tastes better. Not for the person who is eating, but for yourself. I don't know if you catch the drift.

I used to make little presents for my grandmother, when I was about 6 or 7 years old. Once or twice a week I wrapped something in paper or put into little boxes and then I gave them to her. Like the prettiest things I had, I gave them all to her.
I went to visit her before the christmas and I saw she had kept all my presents.

"He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals"

isn't that wrong somehow? What about the people who love you? They are your rivals then...or not?
It would be funny to argue with someone about which one of us loves me more.
I don't think I will be put into a situation like this. For many reasons.

My boy my boy don't lie to me tell me where did u sleep last night my boy my boy don't lie to me




Oh, and a little request for those who stumbled upon my blog by complete and utter accident:
if you happen to look at my profile, maybe you could...just for the sake of it...do it like 9 or 10 times in a row...refresh a bit...and so on. You know, numbers, for some reason make people feel good...like...when you say you are 1m and 70cm...then it's nothing special, but now...write it down in ONLY centimetres....170cm...wow, that's what I call a number!
...I'm gonna get back to this l8er

Happy birthday bro. Yes, today is my brothers birthday. I noticed he had gotten 2 pages of birthday congratulations on the internet. So lovely, made me feel all warm inside.
Or maybe it was the tea.
I bought it pretty randomly. Just walked pass the tea section in a supermarket and noticed this pure&healthy&estonian sign thing and decided to buy it. There were 3 options: tea that gives you energy, tea that makes you sleep and tea that makes you digest better. Guess which one I picked?

Let me give you a little inside peek of what went on in my head:
Stella: Tea that makes you sleep? Come on...I sleep all the time. Actually I don't...I never get to sleep 'cause I don't have enough time. Last night I slept 2 hours and 15minutes. But....I don't wanna be sleepier than I already am...I'll pass out before I get to do my homework.

Stella: Tea that gives you energy? What is that? Like marijuana leaves or something? Creepy. What if I get an heartattack. I'd be lying on the floor, tea all over the carpet and some weird drugleaves on my face and in my hair. Omg...I don't even want to think about it. Or maybe I'll be so energetic that I'll do TOO much homework and teachers get a false impression of me and give me extra homework next time! It's like a nightmare....this tea is scarier than mental images of naked Hasselhoff.

Shopworker:%�?##### you idiot, will you EVER move. Come on it's TEA...what's there to think about?? Effin TEA!

Stella: Hmm...tea that helps you digest. Wow...does it mean I'll lose like 10 pounds in one week and I can eat grilled chicken after 2am every night because of my super fast digestion system?
Ok! That's what I'll pick!

Shopworker: ???


Yep, I chose tea that helps you digest. It tastes better than I thought. Really nice taste indeed. I like it. Reminds me of stuff...childhood and...
...
Did my grandmother made me digestion teas? Did she think I was a fat kid? ...
I wont pick up the next time she calls. Or I'll cough really hard and say I'm Fidel Castro and she dialed wrong.
My teacher told in the class today that he had seen how Castro fell on all fours in a press converence this week. He is so old and weak.
Well, maybe he found something on the floor. Like seriously. Everybody's like "ah-ah-ah, he fell!" and the old man is actually thinking " you dumbasses, 50 pesos!!!"

Today I had to make an interview with a boyband in Estonia. Well, I was at the right place at the right time. I called them. And the lead-singer told me: Nah....I think...I won't come to Tallinn today...I'm thinking...I'm thinking...saturday maybe?

I'm thinking, I'm thinking, it's the third time you postpone it. I missed my history exam classes because of you today. Anyway, nevermind. Saturday it is. The first time it had to be saturday too. Omg, it's faith!

I'm depressed tonight. Not a big surprise, but kinda gets in the way if you wanna have a normal life and stuff.


----

I should be doing my german homework, BUT...instead I thought I'd share a few thoughts.

What if...I would be schizophrenic. I could have many many different personalities, many many different me's. I could send one to school, the other one to cinema...etc.
Kinda reminds me of mr. X. Not being schizophrenic XD I mean that....he used to say: Ok, let's meet tomorrow at 21.
I was like, okay, cool, sure, I'll have time for school, shopping, beauty salon, then I can go to home, take a shower, do my make up blabla. I wanted to see him so bad! I was like smiling all the time...I thought about the things I want to tell him...and what I want to do with him and how much I care for him.
So...the whole day I did my stuff and when I finally got ready and took the taxi, mr.X smsed me: Sorry, lets make it 22.
I was like...okay, it's completely ok...I understand. So I went to a friends' place or smth like that. So...I took another cab before 22. And mr. X smsed me again: Hey...I can't tonight...
I was like...mmm....okay...:(
And he did it the next day too, and the day after that. And when I finally saw him...I was a completely different person. I met him...I was kinda cold....I didn't want to show my affection anymore. So..after that I thought...blah...when he keeps fucking me like that, he'll get to spend time with a completely different me.
And then I wished I could have sent a better Me to meet him. And a lousier one to get fucked by him with sms's and promises that he didn't keep.

I've thought about this a lot...how I can change when people screw me many times. Then I become someone that I am not.
I regret later...that I didn't show who I really am. But seriously, would they even apprecciate it?

With Every Heartbeat - Andreas Kleerup With Robyn



I tried to open a can of apricots the other day.
I started doing it with the can opener...I don't know...the damn thing got stuck or something.
I remember I used to open all sorts of cans with it...but I'm blonde, so who knows what I've or what I haven't done. Anyway, it got stuck and I kept pushing it...and suddenly I was completely covered with apricot juice. When I walked then my socks were like *squirt squirt*.
I had apricot juice in my hair and my cleavage smelled like apricot factory (has anyone ever seen or heard about one?)
It happened some weeks ago, but I still tend to find apricots in the kitchen. Like behind the stove and stuff.
I'd love to have a special can-opener-man in my kitchen. Preferably sexy & italian. :D


Mmm...I think I have to devote a whole post to vodka. Yes, I'll do it sometime soon.

I listened to Nirvana's "My Girl"last night long. Couldn't sleep. It's such a good song. I'd change the word "girl" to "boy" though.

My boy, my boy don't lie to me
tell me where did you sleep last night?


...the emotion in it is super.

Ok, I didn't go to school. Woke up at 13:30, ate.
Then I started listening to music and doing my german homework. Lots and lots of grammatic.
Fatboy Slim - Drop The Hate

I'm not the kind of a person who writes diaries. Everything I write seems lame. My life is lame (?)
Did I actually use a questionmark. Nah.
BUT I want to write about music. I hope when u read, its boring. I get this weird satisfaction when I see boredom on peoples faces. Also I hope you dont understand shit. Then I feel cool.

Fatboy Slim (born Quentin Leo Cook on July 31, 1963, also known as Norman Cook) is an English musician in the dance music genre. His style is known as big beat, a combination of hip hop, breakbeat, rock, house and rhythm and blues. He stopped using "Quentin" and began calling himself "Norman" long before he adopted any other pseudonym.

The neighbours I used to have, they had a son called Norman. There was something wrong with him because he threw cutlery out of the window on weekends. Dunno.
I love that Fatboy mixes blues, hiphop and house. That's what makes him special.

Now it's almost 16 and I really need some chocolate. It's a 50/50 change that Ill ACTUALLY put on make up etc etc etc and go out...but u never know. At least I dont.

I have this interview thing with a band tomorrow. Currently the most famous boyband in Estonia.
I dont know much about them. I have to come up with some really neat questions.

Chocolate...

I listened to this old track -- Chicane "Love On The Run"
was good

It's so cold in here right now. It's supposed to be 28c but it feels like 8.
My mother is at home. We all know what that means.

White Town - Your Woman
I like the fact that he's indian. Kewl. Reminds me of this indian guy who stalked me in Mustam�e. I called a cab and I stood on the pavement yeah, and he walked pass me...like erm...17 times. Probably thought I was a hooker or smth. Well sorry.
Plus he didn't sing "Your Woman".

Blah.

Ok seriously, Im gonna go and buy that damn chocolate now.
I hope its warmer outside now. Yesterday was cold...and the day before yesterday...actually the last time it was warm was in august.
Yippi for Estonia.

----

I really DID go out and buy chocolate, plus coconut ice cream. I ate all of it at once. Damn I felt like shit afterwards. Coconut was practically coming out of my nose (G, I kinda hope it was coconut).
There was a guy with a really funny haircut on the bus. He came in, sat down and looked at me.
I closed my eyes.
Listened to the music. I opened my eyes and he was still looking at me. How big is the possibility that he wasn't looking at me the whole time and he turned his eyes to me at the SAME moment that I opened mine? In that case...he probably thought I was an effin pervert who could not take her eyes off of him.
Back to his haircut - he somewhat reminded me of an egg with a wig. Made me think of omelettes. In Turkey I ate omelettes that weren't cooked properly. I don't know if they were supposed to be super healthy or something like that...but it was more like eating pieces of ham in warm egg-soup. Has somebody ever tried? I don't recommend.
Anyway, the egg-man...if i would get an electric shock (like in that mel gibson movie) ...and me and that egg-guy would change bodies ...then besides the fact that i would lose my Ipod (id be DOOMED)...I would also get a funny -egg with a wig- haircut. The point is...that I would be SO ashamed. I would wear hats. All the time.
But there he was, looking happy and healthy (guess he tried turkish omelettes or smth) and he didn't feel akward at all. And I thought...THANK YOU GOD for not giving me an electric shock that would make me and egg-man change bodies. And I didn't think it because I would be too sad to lose my Ipod...NO, I thanked god, because i dont want egg-man to feel bad and ashamed about his hair. So you see. I am a really nice person.

Over and out for tonight.

Important ztuffs in m'life:

1)
Wid ma nigga. (me iz on de left)

2)
Ma firzt and lazt love: vodka

3)
Food. 4 ledderz do heaven

4)
Muzik. Everywhere in my life. My paszion. My reason.

5)

Dravellling.

6)
Artz.

7)
Say n'more.

8)
My baby. Should be firzt, but iz not.

9)
Yezh, foodbal.

10)
Men. Thoze lil'fuckers. �#%#!"#�%& (sorry lasin rotti selle pildi mingilt poolakalt)

If...
I would be in a little cottage in the middle of the forest and it would be snowing. Then I would go out naked and roll on the ground.

But it's not. So I'll continue drinking hot chocolate.


ps. Tonight I was told, word by word:
"u are so beautiful that sometimes i think...oh god no, she cant be real... "

Things like that can be so lame. But this wasn't. First it made me go awww, and then I thought...thank god for people who are nice to eachother. And nice to me. I apprecciate them. Sometimes too much...sometimes too little.
So you see....I don't know how to recieve or make compliments the right way.

I read an article that said: Don't be reckless with other people's hearts...don't put up with those who are reckless with yours.

I think it is 100% true. But for me...it's also difficult to do. I mean...not putting up with people who are reckless with my heart. There aren't many. I hope there wont come more.
On the other hand, I can't say that I am never reckless with others hearts. Probably I am ... everyday. At least I feel bad every single time I don't have time for somebody. I don't say anything. But I feel shit. It makes me angry too. Goddamnit, if I dont have time then I dont have time. But still. I'm a shitty person.
Most of the time I feel I annoy others...and Im this little piece of crap. I feel I want to say it out. But when I do...then I also feel that I shouldn't have done it because...I am not a piece of crap. I am super and I should act like I know it. I'm not a shitty person at all. I know it. Hey come on, most the people are NEVER as nice as I am. But I think....if u think like that...then it means you obviously are not a nice person at all. Be humble, damnit. Lil' fucker.
So you see...I don't know how to act.

How to manage with stuff like relationships with others? Sometimes I feel I'm tired of them...everything seems pointless and too hard to cope with.
Actually the easiest thing to do ist just to..you know..delete everything you have. Delete your friends, your memories. Start again. Lose the fucking computer. Throw your mobile in the nearby pond or something. And then just start again.
But it's also the hardest thing to do.
So you see...I dont know what to do.

I think writing diaries and such is lame. You write and feel ashamed later for making people throw up because of your over emotional writings.
Wonderwoman, my close friend :), said tonight that blogs are SUPPOSED to make people puke. Blogs are like carpets that have been covered with different kinds of digested food over the years.
Shit, my carpet looks dirty. I should vacum it. Or then again...somebody else should do it. *cheesy smile*
Me and WW also thought up a new word. Nah, I didn't have anything to do with it actually. SHE came up with it all by herself (that greedy bastard). So here it comes:
BLONG

...it means.... a tall blonde who is writing blogs.

God bless the spelling mistakes we do on messenger.

I mentioned God a number of times.
Backwards it's doG.
I love dogs. I have 2.
Ahaha, I just showed you the easiest way how to ignore speaking about God and how to change the subject with just 3 words (plus an apostrophe and a "s") . :D

I don't wanna talk about ww too much, because then it's more like...a blog written by me..about ww's great ideas. But, I have to mention what she said to me earlier. I mentioned her that I don't feel good about people reading what I write and that she is the only one who doesn't make me feel uncomfortable. And she said something in the lines of...don't worry...everbody is busy with themselves...and those who have time to delve into what you write...those are the ones who are worth writing for.

Some people write for others. I don't.
I would feel better if no-one read it. I just feel good when I can write write write and I don't have to think about the consequences. Or what others think. Or how many spelling mistakes I made.
I write complete nonsence. Something that doesn't really have a proper beginning nor an end.

Nah, I just lied. I do write for somebody. But it's more like...something ...mmm....something that you can not see, you know? Somebody who doesn't have an actual body. Somebody.....some body. :D
Reminded me of a song...something 'bout your body..got me thinkin' of your body...lala
Tom Novy Feat Michael Marshall - Your Body (Andy Van Remix)
Anyway, I really feel that somebody is thinking with me, when I write. It's a woman for some reason. Blonde. :) And she is smiling with me.
Weird I know.
I've always been. Can't help it.

CiaoCiao