Blonde Mafia Ganja Island

The curse we carry around in this family has once again started causing pain to me. I can not sleep, I can not eat. The sadness is raising it's head again. And for what?
Just to remind me that it will never leave. It's sleeping somewhere under the ribs, behind the vulgarly red heart of mine, crying salty tears that get mixed with the blood running in my veins.
Just to turn into a flock of babyblue birds flying into the sunset when I'm not watching. Even when there is no sun.

And what do I do? I do exactly like the drug dealers in Scarface, who wanted to saw Al Pacino's hands off. I turn the volume up.

Sube
sube
sube el volumen
sube

And when the chainsaw starts. Nobody will hear me.

Dr. Gray on Grays Anatomy said something in the lines of ... "I'm not wondering how people go crazy. I'm wondering how they don't."
I remembered it, because I understood her so well. Or at least I understood her in some way.
We study, work, smile, laugh. And sometimes horrible things happen. They happen more often than they should. They happen suddenly. They can come out of the blue. They may leave you breathless.
Boyfriends die, girlfriends get hurt in accidents, dogs eat poison, cars crash, houses fall into peaces.
Yet we don't go crazy. Isn't it something... amazing.
Isn't it amazing to look into the eyes of an old woman whose husband has died. Her looks have gone. Her best friend fell infront of a train when she was standing next to her. She lost her baby when she was 18.
Yet her hand is steady when she cuts her 85th birthday cake. And she still smiles when sun comes out after the rain.
Isn't in amazing?
Isn't it what's life about? Smiling after the rain.
Isn't it something...

I watched Oprah today and they were speaking about married couples who haven't had sex for years.
There was a couple who looked so sweet. They were funny, they really loved each other. Yet, they didn't remember when they had last had sex. The woman said she could go on like that until the day she dies, because she is quite okay with it. Her husband, on the other hand, said it hurt him. And he couldn't live like that. Without touching his beautiful woman.
They were both asked if they have a sexual fantasy. And the guy said: I fantasize of my wife with other men. If I can't have her, then I want others to have. And I want to be able to see it. She is a beautiful woman. And there is nothing better than to see a beautiful woman get pleased.

And it was so sweet. I swear, my eyes were in tears (now that's something new, lol). I should probably tell you that the couple had been together for 19 years, they had 3 kids and both the man and the woman wouldn't win any beauty contests. The man was a typical white guy with a beer belly and the woman was an African American with really short hair.
But what they said, how they acted, their love....it made them so beautiful.

It was sad to watch how different men and women are. I understood so well what the woman meant. And I also understood the mans point of view.

The woman said that her sexual fantasy is to be dominated.
And then it was said on Oprah that the majority of women in the whole world share this fantasy.
I have to say, I'm one of those women. But I don't know, lets be honest, who isn't?

The woman said that everything is on her shoulders. Kids, school, work, house, dinners, cleaning etc etc. And she would love to feel like a woman. She doesn't want to be hit or beaten or being dominated in any kind of abusive way. She just wants to feel like a woman in bed.

I think the problem is that most men don't want to seem too rough or thoughtless or self centered. They want to show that they can pleasure the woman in a sweet, long, caring way.
But to be honest, after some time it gets so boring.

There is something natural about guy taking the lead in bed. Of course it's really awesome if the woman and the man change roles from time to time. But I think it just feels right when they guy shows he is a man. Be as passionate as you naturally are. I know you have so much libido. Show it.
Don't be afraid your girl will not break.
Push her on the bed and take her clothes off. Don't linger. She will get cold. :D
Tell her to obey you. Say what you want. And she will do the same.
The woman will feel she is so beautiful... her man wants her so much. She feels feminine, her man is so strong. And then she can let go and forget every stressful thing in her life.
Because women ARE very complex. Their minds are constantly working and when they are stressed then the level of their testostesrone will get low. Together it they will lose their libido and also the force to live. They will get tired and unhappy.
Having sex makes them feel alive and joyful. It makes a person beautiful.

But some people haven't found that passion inside of them yet. They don't know what exactly to do when they get between the sheets. No, sure they know WHAT to do. But they don't know how to do it WELL.
I would just like to tell them to let go. Feel free. Play.
It's all about playing.

Okay, it's getting a bit too graphical here, but I just feel I need to say these things. Maybe there are people who don't know things like that! Maybe you weren't born with a porn gene. And that's totally fine.
I would so like to write a book about this. XD I know, horrible. It would probably have one of these really lame names like "15min in heaven" or something. XD

Number one is NOT to get to the hot spot during the first 30 seconds. Don't you know how to play? Tease. Don't let the other person know what you're going to do next.
If she can name everything you will do in the right order and place them on a timeline, then that's definitely not good. It means you're not surprising her anymore. You're not teasing. You don't make her excited and waiting....shivering for you.

Ah.... I will stop here. Just that, on Oprah today, it was said that a huge number of the population doesn't know where is their clitoris. They don't know where it is!
They don't know what's it for!
Oh my god.... isn't that just horrible?? :D

So forgive me if this post was a little bit too much for you. I just had to say these things out loud.
Playyyyyy...let your imagination run. Play.

And uff, yes of course, some of you are thinking right now: "But I don't want teasing, I WANT to get to the point right away!"
Well, that was just not the point I wanted to make today. Of course there are moments when you don't want or need to wait.
But sometimes it gets very very slow for nothing. When it could be slow and still awesome. But people don't play. Because they don't quite know how, or they find it's not necessary. Well, if you want to leave your partner totally gobsmacked, then yes it is.
That's all I wanted to say.
:)
And as I've said it before, it's just my point of view.


Some time ago I read that If you were to think of your zodiac Sun sign as your soul -- your inner personality and potential then you could say that your rising sign is your physical self or the face you present to the world.
Well, I'm a taurus. That should be my inner personality and potential.
But the mask I wear when I meet others is my rising sign, which in my case is Virgo.
And once you get 20, which will happen tomorrow for me, your rising sign should start affecting you more and more.
I decided to copy a bit about my rising sign here. So you could see if you notice a little bit of Blonde-Mafia in that.

People with Virgo rising are often a little understated in their personal mannerisms and appearance. Generally, there is an intelligent and reserved aura about Virgo rising individuals that is unmistakable. These are actually somewhat shy people who need time to analyze things around them before they warm up to both situations and people. This quality can be received as a rather stand-offish, cool, and even critical manner (depending on the audience).

Virgo ascendant natives have a tendency to worry a lot, especially when confronted with new situations. They notice the tiniest details that others overlook. Many people with this position have a tendency to attract (or be attracted to) people who need help.

There's a quiet charm to many Virgo rising people. Once they have the chance to warm up to new people and situations, you'll find they have a lot to offer. They'll help you out of a jam, go out on a limb for you, and surprise you with a natural modesty under a somewhat critical and standoffish manner.

They do everything skillfully with a fine sense of craftsmanship and precision, perfectionism, care and attention to detail.

Well, I can go even deeper and find out Virgos planet, Mercury has to say about me.

Virgo Rising and Mercury in Gemini:
Your ruling planet, Mercury is in the quick, lively, alert sign of Gemini, indicating that you are an extremely intellectual, mentally active person. You are interested in everything; you grasp new ideas quickly; you respond rapidly to changing needs and circumstances. Organizing ideas and information is your forte. You like changes and travel, you are always on the search for novelty. You like movement and commotion. Facility with the spoken word. You like writing. You could be a writer, editor, librarian, work with computers, manage a fast-paced office. Too much mental activity, however, creates nervous stress. It would be well for you to learn ways and make time to really slow down and relax your nervous system, as it tends to be rather high-strung.



Astrology is a science. And I feel everybody should study it. I'm pretty sure that one day everybody will.
There is so much to learn about yourself. How to live, what to do, to be a better person.
I don't know much you saw me in that Virgo description, but I really feel better after I found out why I do the things I do and why I may sometimes seem like the total opposite of who my sign is telling me to be.

And now a little something that I will write on the first page of my porn book:

Moon in Scorpio:
Courageous, brave, independent, not a fearful nature. The type of sensual woman who likes eroticism.

:)))